‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Trailer: 10 GIFinitive Moments

Published July 24, 2014, 12:25 p.m. ET

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Fifty Shades of Grey

At long last, the first trailer for the big-screen adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey, E.L. James’ international bestseller (and the reason why your mom bought a Kindle), has popped up online. While the film doesn’t hit theaters until next Valentine’s Day, there’s been plenty of buzz surrounding the production, which stars Jamie Dornan as the charming (and, I guess, masochistic?) Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson as the poor man’s Rory Gilmore, Anastasia Steele. Take a look at the trailer as well as ten GIFinitive moments which will reveal what, exactly, to expect from this raucous romp about shedding all of those sexual inhibitions while surrounded by high-end furniture made of glass and steel. First, the trailer iteself:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4nJX8snP4s]

Whoa! Are you all sweaty? Did that new version of “Crazy in Love” get you all bothered? Did the searing chemistry (or lack thereof) between Dornan and Johnson leave you needing to loosen a button or two? Well, if you think you can possibly stand it, here are seconds-long silent clips from the trailer to ponder over.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to pass out whenever men in suits sit down on ergonomic chairs. Anastasia Steele knows what I’m talking about!

Oh, I can’t help but notice that Christian Grey is not wearing a wedding ring! What could that mean? Do you think he’s single? Do you think he has a sex dungeon?

Like any good auteur, director Samuel Taylor-Wood seems to be relying on some heavy motifs here, particularly elevator doors and eyeballs.

That poignant stare! That casual moving of mouth muscles! This Christian Grey seems to have a lot of personality, doesn’t he?

Cue all of the Aerosmith jokes about living it up while you’re going down, ladies, because love is about to happen in this elevator.

Will there be moody jogging? YES, THERE WILL BE MOODY JOGGING.

Will there be moody shirtless walking? YES, THERE WILL BE MOODY SHIRTLESS WALKING.

Jamie Dornan here shows his versatility with some very impressive, yet subtle, open mouth acting.

“Oh, Mr. Grey, what is this? Another walk-in closet? More suits? More grey hoodies to recreate Michael Fassbender’s look in Shame? Unused desk chairs? Oh, is that a whip? And rubber sheets? Oh. Ohhhh.”