5 Reasons Steve Buscemi Would Make a Great Neighbor

It’s safe to say that Steve Buscemi is one of the coolest dudes in Hollywood. He’s worked with everyone from the Coen Brothers, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, and even Tim Burton. He’s always popping up in random things (ahem, Celery Guy in Portlandia), and his versatility has made him a legendary figure in Hollywood.

Revisiting his role as Rex in Airheads, which turns 15 years old today, we’re confident Buscemi would make a pretty phenomenal neighbor. His characters would pull out all the stops just to make sure you feel taken care of and loved. Come on, wouldn’t you want to borrow sugar from Nucky Thompson? That’s what I thought. Check out the top five reasons Buscemi would be a terrific neighbor.

He would always be stocked on booze.

You hear a knock at the door. You walk over, check the peephole, and see Enoch “Nucky” Thompson standing these with a jar of fresh hooch. Best. Neighbor. Ever. Nucky runs the illegal liquor trade within Atlantic City, so he’s basically the biggest boss in town. Not only would he come over often for some quality cocktails, he’d also have your back if any of the neighborhood punks tried to mess with you.

Watch Boardwalk Empire on HBO Go.

He would rub your shoulders after a long day at work.

On The Sopranos, Tony Blundetto decides to put his life as a mobster behind him and become a massage therapist, which could be the most adorable career decision ever made by a former mob goon. We won’t talk about how quickly that business endeavor spirals out of control for T.B., but his dedication to getting his certification is too cute to handle.

Watch The Sopranos on HBO Go.

He would make a great bowling buddy.

Ever have one of those nights when you’re just jonesin’ to go bowling but inevitably have no one to go with you? If you lived next door to The Big Lebowski‘s Theodore Donald “Donny” Kerabatsos, you’d never be without an alley mate. Just try not to act too excited around dear old Donny because he tends to feed off it  (unfortunately, we all know how that ended up for him).

See where you can stream The Big Lebowski on GoWatchIt.

He would scare the bejeezus out of anyone you asked him to.

Even though Randall is an evil monster who’s always looking out for himself, he’d totally be game if you needed help potting revenge against your enemies. Randall is without a doubt the scariest scarer at Monster’s Inc. so he’d be a perfect collaborator for planning evil ploys against humanity. Just don’t get on his bad side.

See where you can stream Monster’s Inc. on GoWatchIt.

He would shoot a guy in the ass for you.

Billy Madison said it himself: after Danny McGrath shoots evil Eric Gordon right in the butt cheek, Billy says, “I’m glad I called that guy.” Danny McGrath was the kid everyone picked on in high school — the same kid who wrote up a list of everyone he planned on bumping off for treating him like crap. Good thing Danny forgave and forgot and later came to the rescue; otherwise, Billy would have been a dead man.

See where you can streamBilly Madison on GoWatchIt.