‘American Horror Story: Freak Show’ Recap, Episode 12: “Show Stoppers”

The freaks are having a big party to celebrate Elsa Mars’ imminent departure to Hollywood and the new owner, Chester, who sits at the dad’s spot at the table with his little buddy, Marjorie, propped up on his lap. Eventually, though, Elsa shoos him away so that she can raise a toast to Denis O’Hare, who successfully hoodwinked her into thinking she had a shot at Hollywood while selling the dead body of Ma Petite (and Jimmy’s hands) to a museum for some quick cash. But Elsa and the freaks are onto him, finally, and they invite him to screen their favorite film, Todd Browning’s Freaks.

Denis O’Hare tries to deny the invitation, but they make him stay in order to give him a large, beautifully wrapped gift box. And inside is the head (obviously) of the head of the morbidity museum who collected Denis O’Hare’s stolen oddities. In retaliation, they strap him to the Wheel of Fortune, and Elsa tosses her knives at him. She orders him to be taken down, stabs him in the leg, and and the rest of her freaks pull out their own knives and chase him through the camp.

The next morning, Elsa tells Jimmy that he needs to step it up and become a leader for the rest of the freaks, although he’s particularly P.O.’ed that she shot his dad, even if he confessed to killing Ma Petite. Elsa, though, promises to get him new hands; she, after all, knows a guy — the guy who made her a set of legs. Emma Roberts sticks around and cleans Jimmy’s wounds, and she tells him that she loves him. Of course, he’s a little ambivalent considering her former partnership with the guy who cut off his lobster claws. “If I was you,” he tells her, “I’d get the hell out of Dodge before I get those new hands.”

Danny Huston shows up again as Massimo Dolcefino (sure), the Italian doctor who made her legs. Naturally, they’re thrilled to see each other. Marjorie, the murderous ventriloquist dummy, is less excited to see the conjoined twins riding on top of Chester, and she’s especially pissed when he knocks her off the bedside table where she’s perched simply because Bette and Dot aren’t into being watched by a doll during their kinky threesome. So, obviously, Marjorie convinces Chester that the twins have to go while also refreshing his memory that he was the one who killed his wife and her lesbian lover, not her. (“I’m a doll,” she said.)

Later that evening, the lesser freaks, including Amazon Eve, Paul, and Meryl Streep’s daughter, sit around drinking and talking about how, you know, this freak show is kinda fucked up. They take the words of Denis O’Hare quite seriously — he announced that it was Elsa who killed Ethel right before they all came down upon him with their sharp knives — and they all agree that it’s time for Elsa to go.

The twins, stuck in a perpetual state of afterglow, are visited by our old friend Dandy, who brings with him a binder of documents and the news that his mother his dead. (He conveniently forgets to mention that he’s the one who killed her.) He does tell them, however, that Chester is “an absolutely, beastly sicko” as he hands over the stack of papers gathered from his private detective. Angry, the twins turn him away, and he delivers a pair of air-kisses and saunters out of the tent.

Elsa brings Massimo to meet the handless Jimmy, but he’s unconvinced of his abilities at making prosthetics — that is, until Elsa hikes up a leg and taps on the hollow, wooden shin. Do you smell a flashback coming on? You betcha.

We learn that Massimo took care of Elsa for two years after her appearance in the German snuff film in which her legs were sawed off by a bunch of creeps with stockings over their faces. He taught her to walk, to dance, to be a real leggy lady. And then they planned to flee Germany — but not before Massimo hunted down each one of the men who sawed off her legs. Finally, he tracks down the mastermind — Dr. Hans Grüper, who is not to be confused with Alan Rickman’s villain in Die Hard but is, however, the former name of James Cromwell’s character in American Horror Story: Asylum.

Damn. That’s a sexy dismembering Nazi!

Before he’s able to kill him, though, Grüper attacks him, then straps him to an electric chair as a form of fun pre-Nazi torture. Massimo says that he was rescued by another SS officer, who enlisted him to build him some bookshelves, and after the war came to America from Austria. He tracked down Elsa, but never came to find her because, for some reason, the torture left him without the ability to love? OK, whatever. HERE’S MY QUESTION: if Elsa Mars and Asylum character Sister Jude look, uh, PRETTY GODDAMN SIMILAR, how come Dr. Arthur Arden — AKA Hans Grüper — wasn’t kinda freaked out when the two worked together at Briarcliff? Something is rotten in the land of Ryan Murphy’s silly and mixed-up universe.

Chester organizes a meeting for the freaks to learn the new show order, which will revolve around his magic act as opposed to Elsa’s David Bowie covers. He announces that the twins will go in the box so he can saw them in half, but they tell him they’re just not into being his assistants anymore. (Looks like two little ladies read the stack of papers Dandy delivered!) Instead, Emma Roberts volunteers for whatever reason, and when she climbs into the box, Chester sees her as his ex-wife’s lover.

Chester calls places, shooing the other freaks backstage, and during the run-through slips some handcuffs on Emma Roberts’ ankles, which, duh, makes it very hard for the lady in the box to contort herself so that she doesn’t actually get cut in half. He ignores her protests, and pulls out his saw and begins slicing. And that’s a season wrap for poor Emma Roberts, whose innards spill out onto the stage when he pulls her two halves apart. (Everyone’s like WTF and Chester’s like “ta daaaaa??”)

Having realized what he’s done, Chester runs back to his trailer where he finds the human version of Marjorie, who he blames for his crimes, and stabs her.

Quick cut! We get another flashback to 1946, where Elsa’s Cabinet of Wonders is in Dayton, Ohio. It’s Jimmy’s first performance as a juggler, and he remembers his mother comforting him and urging him onstage. Before he can continue, his memory is cut short by Amazon Eve who tells him of Emma Roberts’ death and that Elsa is next.

In Elsa’s tent, the twins march in and discover Elsa’s secret: her fake legs. Then they tell her that the rest of the freaks are coming for her, and that she best get out of town. (Why, oh why, would they be on her side? Remember when she sold the girls to Dandy as his personal conjoined sex slaves? But one does not look to AHS for any rational plot. Neil Patrick Harris just stabbed a dummy!)

The freaks prepare for battle by chugging whiskey, stomping on the floor, and calling out Ethel’s name. They march to Elsa’s tent, and they discover that she’s left. Elsa, for some reason, calls on Dandy (I guess you always keep the number of a rich psychopath in the event that you need a quick getaway or maybe a lawyer or some advice on how to get away with murder as a white person). Meanwhile, a bloodied Chester marches into the sheriff’s office with a bloody pile of blankets, in which the “body” of Marjorie is wrapped up. He collapses and confesses to her murder, and not even Neil Patrick Harris can keep a straight face.

In the morning, Dandy drives up in his convertible with some news: he’s the new owner of the freak show. As he goes up on stage to take his bow before his imaginary audience, he hears some rustling backstage. He walks over to find none other than Dennis O’Hare, somehow turned into a Meep-look-alike (MEEEEEEEEP!) but without any hands. Is this how geeks are made?

And finally, in rapid time, Massimo delivers to Jimmy a pair of new hands. Heyyyyyy, ladies!

 

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Photos: FX Networks