Why The First Season Of ‘Dance Moms’ Is The Only One Worth Watching

The first season of Dance Moms is a masterpiece. It has everything you want in a show you’re embarrassed to tell people you watch: a grown woman making children cry, mothers putting fame before their children’s well-being, and an excessive amount of one-shoulder shirts.

The basic premise of the show is that Abby Lee Miller owns ALDC, an incredibly competitive dance studio in Pittsburgh. Every year she puts together a competition dance team that’s expected to win week after week after week. In order to win, the girls must be at the dance studio for hours every single night. Homework and dinner and childhood innocence be damned! And if that’s not stressful enough, the girls often compete in solos each week. BUT NOT ALL OF THEM. #Drama.

Every week Abby picks the best dancers to do solos. If you think that the moms don’t take her solo picks personally and aren’t there to live vicariously through their children, then you’ve never seen a reality show before. To top off all the drama, Abby unveils a pyramid each week with the best dancers….and the worst. And oh yeah, the moms are expected to be in the studio for this unveiling.

The majority of the drama in the first season surrounds the tensions between Chloe and Maddie (the latter of whom would go on to star in Sia’s music videos for “Chandelier” and “Elastic Heart”). You see, they’re both the top dancers on the team. Every week, it goes back and forth with which one is actually the best. More times than not, it’s Maddie. She wins just about every week.  If this was just about Maddie and Chloe, it would be boring. Also inappropriate to watch. However it’s not. You see, Maddie’s mom Melissa works in the dance studio and sucks up hardcore to Abby. So Chloe’s mom Christi often accuses Abby of giving Maddie better dances. Obviously all of these accusations are said within direct earshot of the other mothers and the children. And obviously you get drawn into all of it. Which is horrifying, because no one should care about the fate of 8-year-old dancers. But you do, oh you do.

In addition to Maddie and Chloe, you have Nia, sisters Paige and Brooke, Maddie’s less-talented little sister Makenzie and ViviAnn. For the most part, they’re all bit players in the first season. It’s their moms who take center stage every episode by getting over what Abby does, threatening to pull their girls out and trash talking each other. It’s overdramatic and over the top and I love it. So it’s a real shame that the whole thing went to shambles in the second season. And it’s even more of a shame that it’s still on the air right now.

So what happened?

Well, for starters, a lot of the drama in the first season stemmed from the mothers threatening to pull their daughters out of the studio. And for good reason! In addition to being emotionally abused by their dance teacher, the girls are usually thrown on stage in scantily-clad outfits doing suggestive moves. Not to sound like a Duggar here, but even I felt uncomfortable during some of their performances. And to add insult to injury, Abby would often typecast Nia, her one non-white dancer, and choreograph straight up racist performances for her. Such as my personal favorite, “They Call Me Laquifa.”

Offensive right? Well not offensive enough for Holly, Nia’s mom. Because we’re onto Season Five now and Nia’s still there. Despite all of Holly’s posturing about pulling her daughter out of something this disrespectful. With the exception of sisters Brooke and Paige, all of the other girls are still there, too. So all the “will they or won’t stay” drama went from exciting in season one to downright stupid in Season Two. By the time they were still throwing out those threats in Season Three, it just felt boring. They’re never leaving. As much as I’m sure they love their kids, they love being rich and famous so much more.

And speaking of rich and famous, Abby Lee Miller. When the show first started, you felt like you were in on the joke. Here’s this mentally unstable Pittsburgh dance teacher who’s convinced herself that she’s actually an important human being. So important that she can berate 8-year-olds. LOLS for days But twist, she did become important. In fact, she’s a bonafide celebrity now. Not only does she show up on red carpets like she’s a celebrity, but Lifetime gave her two more shows since the Dance Moms premiered: Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition and Abby’s Studio Rescue. That’s insanity. And I think it means the joke is on us.

Finally, the Maddie versus Chloe drama got out of control. To the point that you were actually rooting for Maddie to fail because the show painted Chloe as such an unfortunate underdog. And I’ll admit, I fell for it Hoku-style, hook, line and sinker. Right before I stopped watching the show for good, I remember telling someone aloud that I thought Maddie was an untalented hack who didn’t deserve anything she was getting.

I’ll tell you something. When you hear yourself say something like that aloud to another human being, about a child you don’t even know, you start to feel like there’s something wrong with you. Because there is. And honestly, that was the final straw for me when it came to Dance Moms. Not only was the drama stale, but the show was pitting two little girls against each other, and they were doing it effectively. That scared me. In fact, it’s what scared me into taking it off my list. I’m all for hating on catty grown ups, but watching a show that’s manipulating us into hating a child didn’t sit right with me. Not where the moms were hateable enough on their own.

So please, watch the hot mess that is Season One, it really is a delightful way to spend a weekend. But do yourself a favor and stop there.

[Stream Dance Moms on Netflix here]

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