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Outlander

When last we saw Jamie (Sam Heughan) and Claire (Caitriona Balfe), they were married and happily in lust, but Claire was still tempted by the desire to see her 1940s husband, Frank (Tobias Menzies), once more. She disobeyed Jamie’s direct orders to stay hidden while he met with a mysterious Irish man named Horrocks, and went “for a walk” back to the stones that sucked her out of 1940s Scotland and into 1743 Scotland. However, before she could touch said magical stones of mystery, she was rudely snatched up and carried off by the British red coats! OH NO! What’s worse is that she was sent straight into the clutches of the vile Black Jack Randall (also played by Tobias Menzies). Once in private, he tore off her corset and held a knife to her breast. Yikes! It looked like it was the end of Claire and her perfect breasts, but then, BAM! Jamie popped through the window! What happened next?

Well, first we need to rewind. How did Jamie even get to Fort William in the first place? How did he know where Claire was? How did he scale a wall? WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH JAMIE?

The Outlander midseason premiere addresses these questions and more by giving us — for the first time ever — Jamie’s perspective on the story. Up until this point, every episode had been narrated through Claire’s voice over and we had seen everything through her eyes. This week we got Jamie’s take on things and there was a lot of brooding, a lot of busting skulls, and a lot of skipping stones.

But let’s get back to the story…

After meeting with Horrocks, Jamie learns that the redcoats have Claire. He immediately captures a British officer and gets the scoop on where she is. Then, he engages in some spelunking involving a crane and a castle wall and he is able to burst in on Black Jack and Claire.

Of course, it seems Black Jack has the upper hand. After all, if Jamie shoots him, then he might also be shooting Claire (and alerting the whole fort to his presence)! Jamie hands over the gun to Black Jack who turns it on Jamie. However, nothing comes out! Jamie stormed the castle with an empty gun! This would look stupid, but it gives our hot Scot enough time to tackle Captain Randall and knock him out.

Go Jamie! Go! Once they escape, thanks to some dynamite, Claire and Jamie get into a little bit of a fight because Jamie is all, “Aren’t you going to apologize for disobeying me and almost getting us all killed?” And Claire is like, “UGH! 18th century men are such curse-word curse-words!” Jamie doesn’t get any of this because he doesn’t know what women’s rights or suffragettes or sadists are, so he plays the best card he has: his sad puppy face.

This is enough for Claire to apologize and hold him because it would melt anyone’s heart. I mean…LOOK AT HIM.

Things seem hunky dory between the Frasiers until night falls. Jamie and Claire might be cool, but Jamie’s bros are still pissed. Justice must be served. What follows is a scene that was controversial enough in book form and that will be even more so now that it’s caught on screen. Jamie calmly tells Claire that she needs to be spanked with a belt to atone for her disobedience.

Claire disagrees with this plan.

Jamie gets his way.

Now, here’s the problem with the scene: in the super sexy, Harlequin-romance-feeling world of Outlander, a good spanking might seem like foreplay. However, this is not sexy. This is non-consensual spanking. While the argument can be made that it’s old school Scottish law and order and not “domestic violence,” it’s still non-consensual. SHE DIDN’T LIKE IT, YOU GUYS. We know this because she repeatedly said “no,” and refused to sleep with Jamie for a long time afterwards.

You know who does like it? Or at least, you know who still likes Jamie? Laoghaire. In between a subplot involving Jacobean politics, tensions between Jamie’s uncles, and that kid Hamish’s parentage, Jamie has to deal with his old blonde flame. Sure, he took a beating for her, and yes, they made out in the alcove, but does he really like Laoghaire enough to cheat on his fuming wife?

Well, that’s tempting.

In the end, Jamie has enough honor to refuse the young lass. The only problem? His loyalty to Claire just made a big enemy in Laoghaire.

Speaking of Claire, Jamie is inspired by his uncles’ break with tradition to apologize to Claire for spanking her. He gives a sensitive speech about how maybe it’s not right for men to beat their wives (yes) and swears he’ll never lay a hand on her again (good). He even goes so far as to make the same pledge of fealty to her that Scottish highlanders do to their lairds — with a dagger and everything. Claire finally is like, “Okay, I love you. Let’s bang.”

BUT, she still has a point to make. While on top of him, and in full coitus, she holds Jamie’s dagger to his chest and threatens to kill him if he ever lays a hand on her again. Jamie kind of digs this.

Once that’s settled, the two continue to have amazing sex and then they cuddle the morning after.

It’s all great until Claire finds “an ill wish” under their bed. It’s a collection of ugly sticks that’s supposed to curse them. Who could have been simultaneously dumb enough to buy this and malicious enough to plant it? Jamie knows. It’s Laoghaire! [Where to Stream Outlander]

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