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Outlander

Previously on Outlander: we saw Claire (Caitriona Balfe), she and Geillis (Lotte Verbeek) were arrested for witchcraft and being carted off to jail. Thanks, Laoghaire! So, what happened next?

Well, they spent a terrible night in jail and then woke up to the sound of children singing, “We’re going to burn the witches! We’re going to burn the witches!” Pardon me, but I prefer an alarm clock.

Day one of the witch trial goes as horribly as you might imagine a 1743 Scottish witch trial would go. Geillis’ maid totally betrays them, Ned Gowan tries to help (but is pretty ineffectual), and someone brings up that Claire found a dead baby in the woods. It doesn’t look good. Ned sneaks them some whisky, which leads to some lady bonding time, but when the morning comes, Claire tries to take matters into her own hands.

It doesn’t work.

They go back to the court house and are confronted with the key witness: Laoghaire. For whatever reason, this showcase Geillis.

After Laoghaire testifies against them, a priest comes and cries about how Claire’s actions in saving a child’s life led him to having a crisis of faith. At this point, it does not look good for Geillis and Claire. It’s so bad that Ned pulls them aside and suggests that Geillis should confess to being a witch and tricking Claire, so that only one of them has to burn. Geillis, who is pregnant and dedicated to the cause of Scottish independence, is like, “WHY ME?” Then, she forces Claire to fess up all her secrets. Ned Gowan leaves the room and Claire reveals that she’s in 1743 by accident. Geillis seems upset that Claire time traveled there for no good reason.

Later, in the court room, Geillis reveals that she, too, is from the future. She’s from 1968.

Anyway, they decide to burn the women as witches and Claire tries to fight this.

The crowd doesn’t like this. So, naturally, they whip Claire. Now, she is receiving the same punishment that her beloved Jamie (Sam Heughan) once suffered through. Speaking of Jamie…

Jamie bursts into the courthouse at EXACTLY the right moment. Really, it’s uncanny how this dude always seems to find and save Claire before the moment she gets raped/mutilated/burned at the stake.

Still, even the mighty Jamie can’t fend off an entire church full of religious fanatics — he’s not Colin Firth in Kingsman: The Secret Service, for goodness sake. Seeing that both Claire and Jamie are doomed, Geillis offers her 20th century smallpox vaccination scar as proof that she is a witch. She refers to it as a “Devil’s mark” and confesses to murdering her husband.

Then she gives those prudish churchgoers a real eyeful: she strips down to her pregnant belly and says it’s the Devil’s baby. I think here is where she went a little over-the-top.

They respond by crowd-surfing her to her fiery death. Bye, Geillis. Thanks for saving our hapless protagonist.

Jamie sneaks Claire out of the forest and she decides to give him this long, poetic, cryptic speech about how she knows a lot about science and politics, but she hasn’t figured out how to make sure people don’t burn her for being a witch. Why? Because she’s from the future.

Jamie is surprisingly okay with this. He also is now extremely weirded out that her husband isn’t dead, but alive and well two hundred years in the future. He decides that she needs to make a choice — but not before they make out by a campfire.

And you know…do other things by a campfire.

The next day, Jamie reveals that he has returned Claire to the magic circle of stones that zapped her into the past. He wants to give her the chance to go back to the future.

He’s actually really polite and leaves her alone to decide for herself what she wants to do. Claire chooses which man she loves — and which time period she wants to live in — by staring at her two wedding rings.

What does she choose? The hot Scot who gives her tons of orgasms. Duh.

Next week: Jamie takes Claire home to meet the (surviving) family. [Where to Stream Outlander]

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