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There comes a point in everyone’s life when you have to face a hard truth: sex exists, and it’s weird. Unfortunately, this happens usually in our teenage years, when our bodies are complete messes and our brains are mushy. And, of course, we have our parents watching over us, which only heightens the chances for a completely awkward moments in which we come face-to-face with what sex actually entails. And we’re likely to figure out some of these things with our parents while watching movies.
We all have a story, don’t we? One of our parents taking us to a movie not knowing what actually happens in it? Our parents walking into a room right when an actress takes off her top? Here, the Decider team reveals some of the most uncomfortable movie-watching experiences we’ve had. Share your own in the comments below!
HOW OLD WERE YOU? 11ish
TELL US MORE... My parents were pretty strict about what kinds of movies my younger brother and I were allowed to watch, and R-rated movies were strictly off-limits. However, one of my mom's good friends from the nabe raved to her about Witness, a movie wherein Harrison Ford plays a detective assigned to protect a young Amish boy (Lukas Haas) who witnesses a drug-related murder. That boy's mother was played by Kelly McGillis, quite possibly that era's Sexiest Woman Alive. There's a semi-infamous scene in the film where she gives herself a spongebath by candlelight, at which point Harrison Ford WITNESSES her boobs. Or, at least, that's what I assumed happened, because my mom covered my eyes the whole time, an act that neither of us ever acknowledged but one that both of us clearly felt was the appropriate in the moment. Even though I didn't see anything, I was so mortified that I didn't ask to see another R-rated movie until Predator hit home video sometime in 1988.—Mark Graham GIF: Paramount Pictures
HOW OLD WERE YOU? 16
TELL US MORE... I had seen, accidentally, Kelly Lynch’s full-frontal nude scene in Road House once with my father as he flipped through the channels on the TV and landed, momentarily on HBO, but it happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to process (or be embarrassed about) what I had seen. About eight years later, as a 16-year-old, I had the most uncomfortable movie-going experience of my life with my mother, who took me to see Election despite my efforts to get her to go see Notting Hill on her own, which was playing in the same theater. There isn’t any nudity in Election, but there are two uncomfortable sex scenes: Chris Klein gets a BJ in a hot tub, and Matthew Broderick has sex with his wife and imagines Reese Witherspoon’s Tracy Flick demanding he “fill her up.” But the worst part wasn’t a sex scene at all — it was a quick-cut to a skeevy teacher with whom Tracy had a brief affair. It’s a close-up of his face as he reveals, straight to the camera, how, uh, prepared Tracy gets right before sex. It still makes me feel so uncomfortable to think about it. —Tyler Coates
Photo courtesy Everett Collection
HOW OLD WERE YOU? 9
TELL US MORE... I realize now, in my old age, that the sexual scenes in this movie are pretty tame. But if you consider the fact that I saw it with my GRANDPARENTS and little brother, I think that makes it qualify. That scene where Ben Affleck unbuttons Liv Tyler's dress and plays Animal Planet on her boobs with animal crackers, while HER DAD, Steven Tyler, sings "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" in the background, definitely scarred me for life. I could never eat an animal cracker in the presence of my grandparents ever again. —Terri Ciccone
Photo: Touchstone Pictures
HOW OLD WERE YOU? 7ish
TELL US MORE... Moving into a new house with my newly single dad meant blue ketchup, lots of soup, and an assortment of VHS tapes including: Arthur, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, and Animal House. One night, my dad had my siblings and I watch Animal House, and I quickly learned that it wasn't about a house filled with animals... but with BOOBS! My dad tried to awkwardly fast forward through the "bad" parts, but my brother, sister, and I caught on pretty quickly. I'm still not entirely sure why he thought we would have enjoyed this movie at such a young age, but it was definitely a fun memory to say the least! —Jaclyn Kessel
GIF: Universal Pictures
HOW OLD WERE YOU? 10
TELL US MORE... I was spending the day with my grandparents when I mentioned I recently saw Grease at a friend's house. They looked delighted that I finally watched a movie they could relate to and gush about. "That John Travolta was so young... And handsome," remarked my Nanny. "Mmm mm, Rizzo. I had the biggest crush on Rizzo," admitted my Poppy. So they dusted off their old VHS, popped it in their tiny kitchen TV, and for a brief moment in time, we were generation-less: three giddy audience members brought together by the immortal romance of Sandy Olsson and Danny Zuko. But then came the scene when Kenickie's condom breaks mid-make out sesh with Rizzo and suddenly I forgot how to breathe. Noooo! Olivia, you idiot, you just saw it! You knew this was coming!, I scolded myself internally, only to be interrupted by my Nanny, a nurse, who then explained to me the consequences of using old condoms and that I should never subject myself to having car sex. —Olivia Armstrong
Photo: Paramount Pictures
HOW OLD WERE YOU? 5 or 6ish
TELL US MORE... I believe I've mentioned this before, but I had an unconventional upbringing by virtue of the fact that my parents never got divorced and had me very, very late in their marriage. How late? My sisters were all in high school when I was born. This meant that I grew up in a house surrounded by adults and teens. When I was watching Sesame Street, my sisters were going out partying, and when I was in Kindergarten, my oldest sister was getting married. I say all this to explain that I was exposed to a lot of mature content at an early age. My family bought Pretty Woman on VHS when it came out and, yes, we watched it together. As a family. AND I LOVED IT. Julia Roberts was so pretty, Richard Gere was so rich, and the story was just like a fairy tale. My family delicately explained that Vivian went on dates with men for money, but when it came time for the blow job scene, or the piano scene, or any of the soft core, nudity-less sex scenes, my mom and sisters covered my eyes and ears. It was a small price to play to be allowed to watch the rest of the film. Oh! And for years, up into my teens, I would awkwardly fast forward through those scenes when I watched the film on my own. I was, if nothing else, an annoyingly good girl. —Meghan O'Keefe
Photo: Buena Vista Pictures
HOW OLD WERE YOU? 11
TELL US MORE… 1997. Rural Ohio. I’m 11 years old and I am grappling with my two newfound obsessions: world history and cute boys. I don’t remember how I heard about Titanic, but I do remember the visceral need I felt to see it the first weekend it was released. In the weeks leading up to December 19, I checked out books about the doomed ocean liner from the library; I scoured back issues of Entertainment Weekly for photos of the film’s dreamy star (it would be another agonizing year before dial-up internet came to our house). I pitched Titanic as a film of great historical importance and my parents bought into it to such a degree that they decided to bring my grandmother, who was born six years after the Titanic sank, along with us. We sat in the darkened theatre, watched Kate Winslet board that boat in her fantastic hat, and it was proverbial smooth sailing until Leonardo DiCaprio’s Jack convinced Rose to let him draw her. There, sitting between my father and grandmother, I saw my first pair of breasts (something that, up until that point and for most of my life since, failed to interest me) projected onto the big screen, thinking it couldn’t possibly get worse. Then: a fogged window. “Put your hands on me, Jack.” “My Heart Will Go On” playing slowly in the background. A rocking car. A hand pressed against the glass amidst sounds of ecstasy. A mortifying, if overdue, introduction to sex. My parents would never give me a proper sex talk, but there, sitting next to them in the dark, they didn’t need to. I would go home later that night, breathe against my own bedroom window, press my hand against the glass, drive my parents and everyone else on earth who wasn’t Leonardo DiCaprio out of my mind, and dream. —Brett BarbourGIF: Paramount Pictures
HOW OLD WERE YOU? 15 or so
TELL US MORE... "Finally lovers feel no shame" sang Berlin as their "Take My Breath Away" soundtracked 1986's Sexiest Scene: Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis steaming up the cockpit (read: a blue-lit bedroom, complete with a copy of Flying Magazine on the nightstand). There was no shame as their two silhouetted tongues danced and maneuvered around each other like a pair of F-14's high above a steaming desert floor. As I watched the scene unfold via a rented VHS, in full view of my mom in the kitchen, I felt my body temperature rise from sheer embarrassment. I nonchalantly stopped the tape and found the ballgame on cable. RELATED: A friend saw it in the theater and reports that his stunned dad, during this very scene, audibly asked, "THIS is PG-13?" —Conrad Doucette
Photo: Paramount Pictures
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Photos: Everett Collection
