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Game of Thrones

Last week’s episode of Game of Thrones shocked viewers and caused all sorts of internet outrage. Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner) was raped on her wedding night while Theon (Alfie Allen) watched on in horror. This week, things got worse for Sansa, a little bit better for Daenerys (Emilia Clarke), and totally horrible for Cersei (Lena Headey). Oh, and we saw Sam’s “O-face.” Why? How? Let’s get into it…

At The Wall…

Jon (Kit Harington) leaves Castle Black in Ser Alliser Thorne’s protection while he goes off to negotiate with the Wildings and Maester Aemon finally dies of old age. That means that not only are all the Night’s Watch’s noble leaders gone, but as Thorne whispers to Sam (John Bradley), all his friends are gone, too.

Sam has always leaned on Jon or Maester Aemon (or his bookish learning) for help, so he’s put to the test when he finds two Rangers trying to sexually assault Gilly (Hannah Murray). Sam nobly tries to save her, but winds up getting beaten to a pulp. It’s only when Ghost emerges and growls at the Rangers that Gilly is set free. Still, Gilly is moved enough by Sam’s honor to finally take his V-Card. Yes, she stoically climbs atop him while he’s in a sick bed, covered in blood, and gives us a Samwell Tarly sex scene. Weirdly, for Game of Thrones, there wasn’t much nudity.

There was nudity, however, in Dorne…

Oh, Dorne…

Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) might be unbeatable in battle, but like all fathers, he can’t win when it comes to his teenaged daughter — especially when that daughter has grown up in Dorne believing she is his niece and not that she’s the product of incest. Jaime tries to warn Myrcella (Nell Tiger Free) that Dorne is a dangerous place for her, but she retorts that she only came to Dorne because Cersei (at the behest of Tyrion) sent her and that Dorne is her home and “You don’t know me! (Dad!)”

We also discover that Bronn (Jerome Flynn) is getting a slightly less warm welcome in Dorne. He’s singing bawdy songs in a cell across the way from the Sand Snakes. The youngest starts flirting with him, showing her naked body, only to reveal that what he thinks is a minor flesh wound is actually a killing blow. Like her father, Oberyn, she’s fond of poisons. She teasingly gives Bronn the antidote after he says she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. In Westeros, this is the closest thing we’ve seen to a romcom.

In The Hell That Is Winterfell…

So, yeah, Sansa was raped on her wedding night. In fact, she’s been locked in a room and raped and beaten every night since that day. She might be covered in bruises, but Sansa has the strength to guilt Theon into helping her. The problem is that our hope in the power of the North is false; Ramsay (Iwan Rheon) has taken the broken tower and intimidates Theon into telling the truth. And so, Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) is stuck waiting for a signal that will never come.

Later, Ramsay shows his hand by parading Sansa around the battlements, threatening her by showing that he flayed the kind old woman who wanted to help her. It’s a strange echo of when Sansa’ first tormentor, Joffrey, took the girl to see her father’s head on a spike in season one. Back then, Sansa thought about pushing the young King to his death, but was stopped by the Hound. Now, she’s older, wiser, and smart enough to pocket a corkscrew.

Ramsay has a lot in common with Joffrey, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that Littlefinger (Aidan Gillen) and Lady Oleanna Tyrell (Diana Rigg) are going to be able to poison the cretin. If Sansa can’t figure out something on her own, her best bet is either Brienne or Stannis (Stephen Dillane). While Stannis’s forces are stuck in the snow north of Winterfell, he has to decide if sacrificing his beloved daughter is worth ensuring victory.

Nevertheless, I’m really curious what will happen when Littlefinger does discover how Ramsay has been treating Sansa…

In King’s Landing…

When Lady Oleanna finds out that she’s not going to be able to use money or power to save Margaery and Loras from the Faith Militant (because the High Sparrow seems to not only be a religious fanatic, but some sort of communist revolutionary), she’s forced to lean on intel from a little bird.

Littlefinger has also been targeted by Cersei. His beloved brothel is ruined. So, to retaliate, he tips Oleanna off to the fact that Lancel is one of the Sparrows, and Lancel knows all of Cersei’s dirty secrets. And so, Cersei is finally arrested by the Faith Militant.

It’s been repeatedly hammered home to us that Cersei’s greatest weakness is her love for her children. She’s also undone by pride in her own cleverness. She was the one who had the wonderful idea of setting up the Faith Militant to rid herself of her enemies, and so she created the instrument of her own destruction. For someone so paranoid about the enemies around her, Cersei really has been busted by the traitor within.

All The Way In Slaver’s Bay…

Even though Daenerys has outlawed slavery in Meereen, both Jorah (Iain Glen) and Tyrion are somehow sold to a master readying his slaves for the fighting pits. And so, we get Game of Thrones‘ version of the movie, Gladiator.

When Jorah finds out that Daenerys is attending his preliminary match, he puts on a helmet, storms out, and murders every last slave in the pit to get her attention. She’s understandably horrified. A man who betrayed her trust has tried to win it back via a bloodbath. But then, Jorah has brought her a gift: Tyrion Lannister.

As much as fans of the show must have been pumped to see these two popular characters finally cross paths, long-time book readers are more excited. That’s right: this doesn’t happen in the books. What’s going to happen? Well, something unexpected, that’s for sure. [Where to Stream Game of Thrones]

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[Photos: HBO]