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Game of Thrones

We kind of didn’t think Game of Thrones could top last week’s insanely awesome ice zombie battle at Hardhome, but this week’s episode gave us one of the season’s most triumphant — and most positively devastating — moments in the show’s entire run. But before we get to that twenty minute-long fighting pit scene or how Stannis killed all of his good will along with his daughter, let’s just go over what’s going on elsewhere in the Seven Kingdoms and Braavos.

Catcalls In The Canals…

Man, those Stark kids sure have grown up, haven’t they? Jon Snow is leading the Night’s Watch and letting the Wildlings through the ancient gates, Sansa is married to an abusive sociopath, and Bran is somewhere learning how to become a tree. Over in Braavos, when Arya isn’t selling oysters and getting catcalled on the streets for the first time — the latter being something all tween girls experience in Westeros, Braavos, or suburban America — she’s also running into some old Westerosi friends.

Ser Meryn Trant is in town acting as Mace Tyrell body man while the lord meets with the Iron Bank. Arya immediately clocks him and gives up her baby assassin duties to track him to a brothel, where she discovers Trant’s got a creepy thing for young virgins. Will a girl become a whore to get close enough to Trant to murder him?

What’s Happening In Dorne?

Once again, nothing much happened in Dorne this week. That’s because Prince Doran Martell is one of the few rulers in Westeros more concerned with keeping peace than winning the Iron Throne. He smooths things over with Jaime and says that Myrcella can return to King’s Landing provided that Trystane goes with her and takes Oberyn’s seat on the Small Council. The wise Doran then lets young Trystane decide Bronn’s fate.

We also see Doran forgive Ellaria and the Sand Snakes (for now), and Ellaria lets Jaime know that she knows that Myrcella is his daughter. Evidently she thinks that Dorne would be cool with the Lannister’s twincest. Something tells me that’s not entirely true, but then again Dorne is a progressive place where sexuality isn’t policed and children aren’t burned at the stake. Speaking of which…

STANNIS, NO!

We should have known better, right? We should have known that when the showrunners finally gave Stannis a heart it was only so that they could burn it to a literal crisp by season’s end. It seems that Stannis’ positive character development was only put in place to make Shireen’s death all the more horrifying.

After Ramsay stages a guerrilla attack on Stannis’ camp that destroys the army’s food supplies, the would-be Baratheon king sends Ser Davos back to the Wall to beg Jon for help. Davos immediately realizes that Stannis is desperate and Shireen is in danger, but loyal Davos can’t do anything to betray his king, even if it means saving the princess.

Poor Shireen has been reading all about the horrors of war, but she doesn’t realize that she’s exempt from its cost. She lovingly offers to help her demoralized father anyway she can — until she sees the stake and the red lady and realizes what’s about to happen.

When we first met Stannis, he and his wife were letting Melisandre burn all the dissenting lords of Dragonstone. So, we’ve known for a long time that he’s an iron-hearted man who will wilt when confronted with the power of fanaticism. We’ve also heard about how the Baratheons had the Targaryen children’s skulls bashed in during the siege of King’s Landing during Robert’s Rebellion (and we saw those two farm boys crisped to dissemble Bran and Rickon’s disappearance). So, again, we know that even children aren’t safe in this world.

But Shireen’s death was particularly upsetting because the show has done such a careful job of making her so gosh darn likable. She taught Davos and Gilly how to read! She survived greyscale! She wasn’t afraid of Melisandre…

I would venture a guess that Melisandre’s real purpose in burning Shireen at the stake wasn’t just to please the Lord of Light, but to cover her own ass. Shireen was the only heir to the throne and she had the potential to be a strong and just ruler in her own right. Of course, if Shireen was in power, Melisandre and her mysterious faith would be out of favor. As much as Game of Thrones has been showing us that magic is real in this world, power is one god all the faiths worship. Which is why Stannis, in his quest for power, is willing to sacrifice both his daughter and his soul.

The Sons of the Harpy vs. Drogon The Badass Black Dragon

Much like last week’s episode showed us the true horrifying power of the White Walkers, this week’s episode finally illustrated what a true Targaryen ruler can do with a grown dragon.

Daenerys and her court are enjoying what seems to be a normal, if not also nauseating, day at the fighting pits. Hizdahr talks about tradition, Daario flirts with his dagger and his swagger, and Daenerys worries a lot about whether or not she’s made the right decision. It’s just a typical day in Daenerys’ Meereense court. But then, Ser Jorah enters the competition and slays all of his opponents using Westerosi fighting skills. You know, skills like somersaults! They don’t know about those in Slaver’s Bay!

After being declared the victor, Ser Jorah flings a spear towards Daenerys. Despite her own doubts, the knight would never hurt his Khaleesi. It seems that Jorah is the first one to realize that the entire forum is a death trap made specifically for Daenerys and her supporters.

The Sons of the Harpy overtake the fighting pits. Nobles are getting stabbed left and right. Even Hizdahr gets a knife to the gut. Dany and her allies are surrounded in the center of the arena by a horde of Sons of the Harpy. There’s no escape. Daenerys holds Missandei’s hand, closes her eyes, and suddenly Drogon swoops in.

While we’ve known all season that Drogon is capable of murder, we don’t know if any of the dragons can be tamed. It’s still unclear if Drogon was pulled to the arena by instinct or command, but the important part is that we finally got to see one of Dany’s dragons murder the crap out of her enemies.

Everyone in the arena is either trying to kill Drogon or is simply dazzled by the sight of a real life dragon protecting a Targaryen queen. Dany decides that she’s going to fully embrace her heritage. She trepidatiously mounts Drogon and rides him away from all the craziness of the fighting pits.

It’s a pretty spectacular sight. Of course, while this means that Daenerys is safe, she sort of just left all her friends behind to die. Then again, that’s kind of what the original Targaryen rulers did: when the Doom came to Valyria, they mounted their dragons and peaced out. What did they do after they left their ruined civilization to burn? Well, they conquered Westeros, of course. [Where to Stream Game of Thrones]

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[Photos: HBO]