‘Game of Thrones’ Will Never Make You Happy And Stop Hoping It Will

What I’m about to say will probably offend people, but I mean it with the utmost kindness: If you’re one of those people who gets offended when bad guys win, innocents are murdered, and women are raped, then you really ought to stop watching Game of Thrones with the expectation that you’ll like it.
I know, I know! You’re not asking for much! You want a gorgeous, inventive, sprawling show (that has some kick-ass dragons, too!) to just cool it with all the rape and murder. I get it. Rape and murder are inherently bad in real life, and moreover, they’re generally indicative of lazy writing in television shows. Why should Game of Thrones lean on them so much? All you want is for Game of Thrones to be the best it can be. So, you’re just asking for the most popular fantasy show on television to give you the fantasy show that you want to see.
Except, you see, that show that you’re thinking of is decidedly NOT Game Of Thrones. It’s not a fun, fantasy adventure show where goodness will triumph and progressive values will prevail, but it’s never been that and it will never be that. Game Of Thrones is not “Feminist Faerie Tale Theatre”*; it’s Deadwood with dragons.

I think I understand why there’s been a bit of confusion about this. As grim as it gets, Game of Thrones has also always been rather fun. Daenerys is an ethereal beauty with silver hair that shimmers in the sun. Tyrion takes unabashed delight with his whores and is a quick with a snappy line. There’s jousting and sword-fighting. There are direwolves and dragons. There are cute children acting puckish. And at the center of it all, there’s a big, fancy, badass-looking throne. The show’s fantasy set dressing is what indulges our personal fantasies.

Of course, the show has always also been relentlessly mean. The pilot features Daenerys getting raped on her wedding night, Bran being shoved out of a tower, Cersei and Jaime engaging in incest, a murder mystery, an attack from ice zombies, and a routine beheading. Game of Thrones has always given us both the rod and the carrot, and it seems that it’s been giving us so many carrots (in terms of positive plot twists and endearing character development) that we’re feeling all the more brutalizing by the sting of the metaphoric rod.
It’s okay that you don’t like the rod, but stop pretending that you didn’t know it was coming. This is a show that gives us shining, glimmering glimpses of hope so that the inevitable disappointment hits us harder. Of course Ramsay was going to rape Sansa. We have been repeatedly told and show what a vile and sadistic sociopath he is. Of course Stannis was going to burn Shireen. The first time we met him he was burning people on the beach and he has consistently put his faith in Melisandre’s counsel before anything else. (That sweet “you’re my daughter” scene? It was introduced to trick you into thinking he could be anything other than what he’s always been.)

Terrible things are going to keep happening to the characters you love. How could they not? This is a show that loves introducing compelling characters just to murder them. The show isn’t going to change its core philosophy just because a lot more people are tuning in, nor is it going to suddenly become cuddlier because a bunch of prominent bloggers take it to task for its brutal sexism. Game of Thrones is never going to change; you’re the one who has to change the channel. You know something? You might discover that quitting Game of Thrones before it upsets you more is the best thing you could do as a viewer — at least, my colleague Tyler Coates thinks so.
So, why do I keep watching? I think it’s a wonderfully complex soap opera and I rather like how Game of Thrones keeps finding ways to devastate its uncommonly canny audience. Tragedy should upset us. We’re supposed to be enraged that Ned, Catelyn, Robb, Oberyn, and Shireen are gone before their time as their deaths were rooted in deep moral injustice. Similarly, rape should always revolt us as much as Sansa’s wedding night did. may be naive in believing that someone we like will “win” the proverbial Game of Thrones,  I don’t see how the finale could be anything but bittersweet. This is not a world where the good guys will win without suffering.

Of course, if all the incessant rape, murder, racism, and misogyny on Game of Thrones upsets you that much, you can do more than turn it off and look for something better. You can make something better. Now that we know that high fantasy can make it as mainstream prestige drama, there should be nothing holding our greatest creators from giving birth to a tremendous fantasy series that gives us drama in a world worthy of all of our dreams. If Game of Thrones isn’t making you happy, find something, or make something, that will. [Where to Stream Game of Thrones]
*I am copyrighting “Feminist Faerie Tale Theatre” because it is something that I would like to work on and to see on TV one day.

Like what you see? Follow Decider on Facebook and Twitter to join the conversation, and sign up for our email newsletters to be the first to know about streaming movies and TV news!