‘Orange Is the New Black’ Recap, Season 3, Episode 3: Oh, Darlin’ Nicky

#OrangeHeads, I know I have expressed some concerns with Orange Is the New Black, especially over the usage of flashbacks, which have this far been unsuccessful in making me get emotionally involved in the back stories. For example, as much as I love Bennett, his relationship with his soldier bestie was barely established before the friend sacrificed his life, so it was difficult for me to feel anything other than, “Ooof, that sucks.” Perhaps that’s more a reflection on me, but I cry at movie trailers, so I’m not a monster. However, as the song goes, “It’s a new dawn, a new day…and I’m feeling good.” Why? Because OITNB got the flashbacks right in a BIG way with Nicky, proving once again that Natasha Lyonne is criminally underrated on this show and there needs to be more of that of that kind of storytelling with some of the under used characters like Big Boo and less focus on the Piper/Vause shippage, but more on that in a second. A lot happened on “Empathy is a Boner Killer,” so let’s get into it, shall we?

We open with Luschek telling Nicky that he found a dealer and that’s when she says the drugs were stolen. While I don’t think Nicky has fallen off the wagon and is using again, it’s seems like she is, at the very least stalling and maybe even moving the drugs around. Before I have time figure this out, it’s flashback time. Nicky and her druggie friends decide to steal a cabbie’s car to get uptown and score some drugs, but she ends up crashing the car.

Back in the present, Piper and Vause are hooking up again — yawn.org — and it’s hate sex because Vause is still mad at Piper for the betrayal. Look, #StruggleSex is a thing that happens in real life and also on TV shows (Lord knows Scandal shows that every other week); because it’s so prevalent on TV, however, I’m just bored by it and I do not see it as a device to move plot along, particularly in this case. It just comes off as decidedly unsexy and like, “Well, things are moving slow. Let’s show some boobs being squeezed the way a corporate exec does a stress ball and then have the woman orgasm five seconds later.” All I have to say to that is:

Moving on. Daya tells her girls about the engagement and Ruiz rains on her parade, which at first seems kind of Summer’s Eve-y (AKA douche-y), until later in the episode when Bennett is missing. I guess he did really bounce, which is terrible but it seems like he might not have been able to stick around as Caputo is struggling to break the news to the other COs that Litchfield is closing. You know what he’s not having any difficulty with? Watching porn at work:

#Priorities.

Healy tells Red that she is going to be the translator for him and his wife, so he can fix his marriage. Meanwhile, Rogers (the other counselor is actually doing some, you know, counseling) is with Vause, who is still angry at the world. When Vause is not in relationship drama, she’s pretty interesting and I’m curious as to what she was like before she ever met Piper. We know her mom died, but I think she deserves the Nicky treatment so Vause can seem more substantial.

Speaking of Nicky, she stashes heroin up in one of the light fixtures in the washroom — bad idea — and then it’s flashback time. She manipulates her mom into giving her money to bail out her friends when, in actuality, she just uses it to score more heroin and then calls her pals and tells them her mom wouldn’t lend her the cash. Cold. She hangs up and, of course, she’s out of drugs again, so she and some other junkie friends decide to steal a rare book for drug money. Jesus, please take the wheel.

We return to the present. Rogers’ improv class with the inmates is now underway much to the chagrin of Healy. Most of the ladies are kind of bad and don’t follow the rules like “Yes and,” which makes Soso go:

Yes, Soso is annoying, but she has a point here, y’all! Anyway, Piper and Vause improvise together, and that’s when Piper tells Vause that she did what she did because she missed her and she’s sorry but also not sorry because she’s so happy to see her. Because they had an emotional breakthrough, they can’t have #StruggleSex and they stop fooling around. Who. Cares.

Poussey and Taystee have a funeral over the pile of burned books, but what I’m more concerned about is their relationship. They were torn apart by Vee last year and now they’re BFFs again. That seems a skosh convenient.

Leanne and Angie find Nicky and Boo’s drugs when the heroin falls out of the light fixture. They get high. Nicky finds out about that and tells Luschek that the meth heads have the drugs and that the heroin needs to get out of the prison ASAP before she’s tempted to use again. But all Luschek cares about is cutting Boo out of the deal. Classy.

Caputo calls Fig; her husband won his election, so they’re living in Albany. Caputo wants to talk to Jason about saving the prison, but Fig is being difficult as usual, so Caputo threatens to release info that Jason is on the down low with Gavin and that they are also embezzlers. This is not going to end well. And another thing that’s not going well: Healy, his wife, and Red talking. His wife is kind of a jerk to him and after a while, Red stands up for Healy, which is sweet, but I’m hoping beyond hope they don’t get together. I know that people hooking up is fun drama, but not everything needs to be a game of “Pass the Peen,” especially on a show like this, which is ripe for commentary on other issues such as race, class, education, abortion, and gender. So, I’m begging you, OITNB writers, keep Healy and Red friends.

Once Luschek finds Angie and Leanne, he steals the drugs back. They snitch on him to anyone who will listen and eventually, Caputo and a CO go to the electrical department and confront Luschek and some of the inmates. Luschekis calm because he already sold the drugs (and is putting Nicky’s cut of the money in commissary). Nicky, on the other hand, looks terrified and we soon learn why: there is one bag stashed in Luschek’s desk. Damn! It seems like Nicky was going to use again, which is so tragic and heartbreaking, yet beautifully handled by the show because in the flashbacks throughout the episode we’ve seen Nicky almost be able to get away with her schemes. But then she screws it up. And what makes it worse this time around is that she had been really clean, that she was making an effort to change her life, but, like all addictions, staying sober is a moment-to-moment decision, and she had a weak moment and made a bad decision.

Anyway, Luschek rats Nicky out, she tries to deny it, but Caputo has her taken to maximum security.

As she’s being walked to the van, Red and the rest of the girls want to know what happened and why Nicky didn’t ask for help. Nicky simply says, “She’s a fuck up,” gets in the van and tells Doggett that Red isn’t her mom and she wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Wow.

Finally, Caputo is leaving and sees Fig in the parking lot. She gives him info in order to save the prison by getting it up to standards so a prison corporation can buy Litchfield and keep it open. Sigh. I don’t know, guys, this storyline is looking dubious at best right now. I just don’t see how the prison can be saved and everyone can be kept together, especially on a show that is, in a lot of ways, trying to be realistic with certain things such as inmates OD’ing or having mental breakdowns. I know it’s early in the game, but I’m kind of wishing this storyline hadn’t been introduced.

Phoebe Robinson is a stand-up comic and writer who’s been on Late Night with Seth Meyers, is a consultant for Broad City, and whose debut book, You Can’t Touch My Hair, comes out Fall 2016. Her website is blaria.com.

 

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Photos: Netflix