9 Times Tatiana Maslany’s Acting Distracted You From ‘Orphan Black’s’ Confusing Plot

We need to talk about Kira. Because, if the girl doesn’t get an owl from Hogwarts soon, I’ll be shocked. She easily bounced back after her car accident in the first season, she’s curing (fingers crossed) Cosima with her teeth, and most impressively, she convinced Michiel Huisman to be her father. Not to mention the fact she just seems to always know what’s going on, and is relatively calm about it all. “Oh, my mommy has many twins, and Daddy just showed up out of nowhere, and I haven’t been enrolled in school regularly ever, also, what’s for supper tonight?” So, I have to ask, does being the daughter of an “infertile” clone mean she’s just a regular Sanderson Sister?

Look, I love cults as much as the next fun-lovin’ gal who can pull off a four-foot-long braid while saying “Father” in a slightly sexual way, but I’m not 100% clear on either of groups’ goals—or how this science experiment got so wildly off track. If anything, it’s a great example of why you should always sit down and discuss your end game before creating clones.

Fine, you’re right, I do understand Paul’s deal—but only after spending the first two-and-a-half seasons being all, “Who are you and who do you work for, you Madame Tussaud wax figure come to life!?!” Also, I did just want an excuse to use this GIF where Paul says, “It was never Beth I loved.”

If you put a gun to my head and forced me to pick my favorite clone, I’d say Helena. Without a doubt. And not just because she’s the clone who’s most likely to be holding said gun to my head. However, if you then told me to explain the significance of Pupok, her magical, talking scorpion (also played by Tatiana, because why not add that to her resume), I’d be at a complete loss for words. But please do use this GIF as a weight-loss mechanism anytime you feel like eating.

I’m sorry, but Topside is what exactly? Yes, yes I get that corporations are a stand-in for all that’s evil on TV and in movies. But elephant in the room (specifically the room with bars that once held a Project Castor clone)—what exactly is Topside? Like on a day-to-day basis what do its employees do? Or, to put it in a way that Millennials understand: What does the company’s Twitter bio say?

Don’t get me wrong. I get this plot—I’m just confused as to why it happened. Yes, I get that the show does need comic relief sometimes. The constant backstabbing, murdering, and Delphine-relationship-moping certainly starts to weigh on you. (And Seeing Allison and Donnie dance around in their underwear definitely does the trick.) But this show’s at its strongest when all the clones work together, and we barely saw Allison interact with her sestras all season.

If Tatiana Maslany gets credit for playing every lead character in one show, then Michiel Huisman deserves credit for showing up in three hit shows on TV in recent years—Orphan Black, Game of Thrones, and Nashville. (Okay, fine, Nashville isn’t as much as it is an excuse to think about Connie Britton’s hair on Wednesday night.) But despite being that in demand, Sarah’s able to walk away from a life of domestic bliss with him and their daughter. To do what? Rescue Helena? The strongest female protagonist to ever exist on TV? I don’t think so. I can only hope that the fourth season transforms into a multi-cam sitcom about the family’s wacky adventures in the tundra, with special guest appearances from cranky Grandma Kendall Malone.

In the show’s defense, I’ve never been good at science. But, even with that said, does it all make sense? Like when Sarah and her killer-clone-bros find that baby skeleton and they’re all like “This! This right here is the key to everything!” I was all, “If you say so.” Also, is everyone on board with Kendall Malone being the original for both Project Leda and Project Castor? I know it’s all (allegedly) based on real science, but it’s getting harder and harder to follow. So I would say yes, all the science is confusing.

Well, well, well, look who’s alive—Susan Duncan. Meaning that both Rachel’s parents handed her over to be some kind of corporate science experiment while they pursued their goals of being voted the world’s most negligent humans ever. At this point, you can’t assume anyone’s dead. Or that anyone’s on your side. Or anything at all, well besides the fact that whatever site the Duncans used to rear Rachel might’ve erred too hard on the site of free-range parenting. So, best of luck to Rach’s therapist, because I’m not quite sure where to start with that one.

[Where to stream Orphan Black]

Jenni Maier’s an editor and writer living in New York City. She’s phenomenal at binge-watching TV shows. Even when the weather’s nice out. You can follow her on Twitter @MayorJenni.