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Fargo

Next Monday, we’re finally returning to North Dakota, and it’s about time. Last year marked the first season of FX’s addictively dark mini-series, Fargo, which has won three Emmys and two Golden Globes to date.

If you’re experiencing 1996 déjà vu, you’re not alone. Powered by an ensemble cast, this mini-series takes place in the same universe as Joel and Ethan Coen’s comically disturbing masterpiece of the same name. Whereas the film version of this world takes place in 1987, Season One resides comfortably — and bloodily — in 2006. Season Two will be reaching even further into Midwestern history as it takes place in 1979.

We can’t wait for Season Two, and we know you can’t either. To prepare you for Fargo’s gory, funny, and gorgeous return to TV, we’ve compiled the ultimate skimming guide to Season One. Whether you’re in need of a refresher (after all, it has been nearly 16 months since the last episode aired) or you’ve already determined you don’t have 10ish hours to catch up on the previously aired episodes (now on Hulu!) before Monday’s premiere, this is the guide for you. Aces!

[Warning: Spoilers ahead. Naturally.]

Episode 1: The Crocodile’s Dilemma

Do you remember the perpetually bullied pacifist from every 80s movie? That’s Lester Nygaard (Martin Freeman). When we first meet Lester, he’s a punching bag for everyone around him: his boss, his wife, his brother, even his high school bully. Speaking of, a violent encounter with said bully lands Lester in the hospital, where he meets Lorne Malvo (Billy Bob Thorton).

Things start off friendly enough before quickly taking a turn for the terrifying when Lester confides in Malvo about Bully Sam. If Lester gives the word, Malvo says he’ll take out Sam. Instead of saying yes or no, Lester stays silent, which Malvo interprets as a thumbs up to kill Bully Sam.

Chief Vern Thurman and Deputy Molly Solverson (Allison Tolman) are called in to investigate Sam’s murder, and they immediately suspect Lester’s involvement.

Later, Lester and his wife get into a heated argument, and Lester snaps. It was Lester with a hammer in the basement. Lester panics and calls Malvo.

Meanwhile, Chief Thurman stops by to question the newly-guilty Lester. He’s about to cuff the murderer when Malvo appears and kills Thurman.

But plot twist: Thurman ordered backup before his death. A panicked Lester knocks himself out, later claiming a home invader knocked him out and killed his wife, and Malvo sneaks away. While he’s escaping, the sweet Officer Grimly (Colin Hanks) pulls over Malvo, who makes Grimly’s choices very clear: He can either let Malvo go or die. Grimly takes the road less moral and lets Malvo go.

Episode 2: The Rooster Prince

Bully Sam is still dead, causing a pair of criminal experts to come to Bemidji – Mr. Numbers (Adam Goldberg) and Mr. Wrench (Russell Harvard). They’re looking for revenge, which means they’re looking for Malvo. They (literally) ice the wrong man, thinking he’s their guy. Whoops.

Meanwhile, Bill Oswalt (Bob Odenkirk) is promoted to Chief Oswalt, something that Deputy Solverson is not happy about. He thinks Thurman’s murderer was a random drifter, but she thinks their suspects are closer to home. This isn’t going to be resolved anytime soon.

Speaking of murderers, Malvo gets a new job from the “Supermarket King” of Minnesota. Apparently someone has been blackmailing the king, and his highness is not happy.

Episode 3: A Muddy Road

Deputy Solverson learns the identity of the frozen man she was investigating during the pilot. Security footage reveals he was literally dragged from his office, but the kidnapper’s face was partially obscured. Those of us at home know the name: Malvo.

Suspecting Lester may know something about this mysterious kidnapper, Deputy Solverson takes a file – complete with the obscured photo – to Lester’s insurance office. She interrupts Mr.’s Numbers and Wrench ruffing up a clearly-flustered Lester by asking for Lester’s advice on insurance policies. She then “accidentally” drops her file, and it “happens” to open to the obscured photo of Malvo.

Lester immediately reacts, confirming Deputy Solverson’s suspicions that Lester isn’t as innocent as he seems.

Guess who else isn’t innocent? Malvo. He immediately figures out the “Supermarket King’s” blackmailer, but instead of completing the job, he sees an opportunity to make a quick buck. Malvo teams up with the incompetent blackmailer to milk the King’s religion-based paranoia for all it’s worth. Cue Old Testament imagery.

Meanwhile, guilt finally gets the best of Officer Grimly. He confesses to pulling over the suspected killer and letting him go. Now he gets to work with Deputy Solverson.

Episode 4: Eating the Blame

Rewind to 1987. After a well-placed prayer, the future Supermarket King comes across a satchel full of money that should be familiar to Fargo locals. Props for seeing the movie.

Back to present day, the King is still being blackmailed and Malvo is still (partially) behind it.

Fortunately, Officer Grimly sees Malvo and arrests him this time. Unfortunately, Chief Oswalt decides to go investigate instead of our favorite deputy. Malvo’s convincing aw-shucks performance as a minister works, and he’s released. However, as he’s walking away, Officer Gimly calls out “Lorne Malvo,” proving that he knows who “the minister” is.

Meanwhile Lester is still being stalked by a pissed Numbers and Wrench. Desperate, he punches a police officer to escape the badass pair, but two can play that game. Numbers and Wrench get into a bar fight that night, landing them right where they want to be — in Lester’s holding cell.

Episode 5: The Six Ungraspables

Backtrack to four days ago when Lester’s wife was murdered: A stray shotgun pellet from the shot that killed Chief Thurman hit Lester’s hand. It’s been untreated for days, and we, along with Lester, can tell. Numbers and Wrench use this wound to their advantage, torturing Lester until he tells them who killed Bully Sam. It doesn’t take long.

Numbers and Wrench are released soon after, leaving a feverish and infected Lester to be rushed to the hospital. Weirdly, Deputy Solverson notices that the bullet in his hand is the same kind that killed Thurman. She finally convinces Chief Oswalt these deaths are connected to Lester.

Meanwhile, Malvo locks up his unpredictable blackmailing buddy and decides to start stalking Officer Grimly.

Episode 6: Buridan’s Ass

After the Supermarket King agrees to a ransom price, Malvo decides that he prefers working solo. He duct-tapes his blackmailing buddy to an exercise bench, rifle in hand. He then fires a few attention-getting rounds before ducking out, forcing his former partner to take the bullet(s).

Deputy Solverson and Officer Grimly, who have been flirtatiously discussing the murders, respond to gunshot reports. They arrive to find a whiteout and an abandoned car — a trap from Numbers and Wrench for Malvo.

Malvo stages a trap of his own, ambushing Mr. Numbers and forcing him to reveal who hired him and Wrench. Mr. Numbers’ prize for cooperating? A slit throat.

Meanwhile, Numbers’ dead body causes Deputy Solverson to jump into action, determined to catch Malvo this time. Poor Officer Grimly tries to help, but he is so very bad at his job. The whiteout coupled with unknown gunshots causes him to step up to the plate and shoot … Deputy Solverson. This is why we don’t shoot blindly.

At the hospital, Lester realizes he’s going to jail unless he acts fast. He has a shotgun pellet and a piece of fabric from the scene of the crime in his hand. He sneaks out of the hospital, desperate to find a fall guy, and he finds two. They just happen to be related to him. He plants the murder weapons in his brother’s gun cabinet as well as a pair of his dead wife’s underwear. Then he plants an unloaded revolver in his nephew’s backpack to speed up that police search. Sorry not sorry, bro.

Episode 7: Who Shaves the Barber?

At the hospital, Officer Grimly anguishes over accidentally shooting Deputy Solverson, and everyone is starting to wonder if the cop life really chose him.

Speaking of police work, everything Lester planted on his family is soon discovered, and Lester comes up with a new story that involves an affair and incriminating his brother. To the frustration of Deputy Solverson, this plan works. Lester is released.

She is then further frustrated by Mr. Wrench, who refuses to cooperate without his hearing-abled partner. RIP Mr. Numbers.

Malvo, who now knows the name of the company that hired Numbers and Wrench to kill him, decides to pay headquarters a visit. One would think that having FBI surveillance on-site would prevent 22 people from being murdered, but you would be wrong.

Episode 8: The Heap

Victim Lester has died and a new more confident, more sinister Lester has taken his place. He tosses out his wife’s belongings, gets a new washing machine, and gives Bully Sam’s widow some serious sass when she rightfully accuses him of duping her for sex. This new attitude (widow assholery included) catches the attention of his co-worker, Linda Park. We don’t know why either.

Deputy Solverson attempts to reopen the Nygaard case with no dice, and Malvo taunts Mr. Wrench, revealing that he’s the one who killed Mr. Numbers. Also, Special Agents Pepper and Budge (Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key, respectively), the FBI agents on duty during the 22-person homicide, are deservedly demoted for allowing said homicidal rampage.

Then came possibly the most shocking moment of 2014 TV: Fargo cut to one year later. In the middle of an episode. Toward the end of the season.

We learn that Officer Grimly has become Mailman Grimly, who is now married to Deputy Solverson. She is pregnant, nodding to the character’s 1996 movie counterpart.

We also catch up with Lester, who is married to co-worker Linda, head of his own insurance firm, and winning insurance awards in Las Vegas. Life is good for the confident Lester. That is, until he sees an old friend at the bar.

Episode 9: A Fox, a Rabbit, and a Cabbage

Lester decides to use his new confidence to make the same old mistakes. He confronts a clearly-undercover Malvo in front of a group of people. Malvo tried to give Lester a chance to leave several times, but Lester insists on being acknowledged. In a chilling moment, Malvo asks him, “Lester, is this what you want?” Lester gives a definite yes, and Malvo shoots everyone else in the elevator.

Lester changes his mind about being noticed and take off running his first opportunity.

He and Linda fly back to Bemidji as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, the Las Vegas PD share the interesting elevator footage they have with their Bemidji counterparts. Deputy Solverson interviews Lester and Linda, but Lester slips through her fingers yet again.

Agents Pepper and Budge get a new tip about the rampage shooter, and they reach out to Deputy Solverson for help. You betcha Solverson delivers when it comes to incriminating evidence against Lester and Malvo.

Speaking of Lester, he’s panicking and sees a rushed trip to Acopulco with Linda as his best escape option. There’s just one small problem: Their passports and cash are back at Lester’s office. Suspicious that Malvo is in the office waiting for him, he sends his new wife in to retrieve the objects, but not before giving her his coat and telling her to pull up the hood. She now looks just like him.

Linda is shot by Malvo, and for the love of god does this man have any redeemable qualities??

Episode 10: Morton’s Fork

Lester posts himself up at the diner next store and tries to act shocked when his second wife is discovered dead. P.S. Martin Freeman acting like he can’t act remains my favorite part of 2014.

Meanwhile, Grimly tracks Malvo to a secluded cabin, and Deputy Solverson is promoted to Chief Solverson. About time.

Believing him to be in danger, Agents Pepper and Budge escort Lester to his home. Turns out they were right about the danger part.

Lester does what he does best and plays victim, tricking an unsuspecting Malvo to step on a bear trap. They have a shootout but miss each other, both escaping. Malvo returns to his cabin to treat his wound and fix his fractured leg in one of the series’ most graphic scenes, but he’s not alone. Enter Grimly.

Our sweet former officer inverses the deal made when they first met, killing Lorne Malvo once and for all.

Chief Solverson later finds Malvo’s stash of tapes, one of which contains Lester’s admission to murdering his wife.

Cut to two weeks later. The Bemidji police force is chasing Lester on snowmobile. In a moment of desperation, Lester abandons his vehicle and runs out onto thin ice. Finally, it cracks beneath him.

Total Episodes: 10

Total Body Count: 42

Percentage We’re Watching Season 2: 100%

Fargo returns to FX and FXNOW on Monday, October 12 at 10:00 p.m. EDT.

[Where to stream Fargo Season One]

RELATED: ‘FARGO’ EXECUTIVE PRODUCER WARREN LITTLEFIELD DISHES ON SEASON TWO AND “THE PLATINUM AGE OF TV”

Kayla Cobb is a proud graduate of Clemson University and loves her cat and TV shows more than some people love their kids. You should really follow her on Twitter at @KaylCobb.

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