How To Pick The Perfect Winter Binge Watch For You

While you might not be able to afford to go on a real vacation this January, you can most certainly afford a mental one. You know, one that allows you to get sucked up into soapy drama and forget what really matters. Sure, when you first start watching these, you’re skeptical. But fast forward three seasons later, and you’re suddenly more invested in fictional people’s lives than you ever were with your own.

For this one, I recommend going with any of the underrated primetime soaps. Start with: Private Practice, Army Wives, Ugly Betty, Hart of Dixie, or The Vampire Diaries.

There’s nothing quite like a comedy if you’re looking for an easy binge that hooks you fast and forces you to ask the question, “Um, how did it get so late?” While you can always re-watch The Office or 30 Rock, this winter’s for trying out one of those shows that you always heard was funny, but never quite got around to adding to your DVR.

For this one, you want something so good you just can’t shut it off—”Just one more 22-minute episode,” you’ll say to yourself, over and over again. Start with: Happy Endings, Archer, The League, Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23, or Portlandia. 

You know that one show you never thought looked good from your youth, that everyone else watched, talked about endlessly, and thanks to streaming TV, still brings up all the time? Well, you can spend the rest of your life fighting it—or finally bite the bullet and see what it’s all about. Sure, they might not be as good as everyone claims, but at least you’lll be in on the joke. Pivot, pivot, lol.

For this one, you want to watch the shows that’ll give you the most quotable lines for your money. Start with: Friends, Seinfeld,  The West Wing, Sex and the City, or Saved by the Bell.

There’s no better time than right now to catch up on all those shows the critics love. And by “the critics,” I mean those people in your life who scoff at you when you casually mention that you actually haven’t ever watched Breaking Bad. While you can’t watch ’em all, you most certainly can stream enough that you get to become that condescending person.

For this one, you’re going to want a show that’s a little bit off the radar—think: something your parents have never heard of before. (Oh, and the more British, the more points you score.) You should start with: Orphan Black, The Americans, Luther, Sherlock, or Doctor Who.

While there’s no shortage of streaming lists for “Netflix and chilling,” there’s not very many for when you want to do it literally. You know, when you want to turn on the TV, turn off your brain, and only commit to paying attention half the time. (Rather than that thing when you have to keep rewinding because you keep missing the huge plot twist due your inability to stop scrolling through your newsfeed.)

For this one, I recommend any of the surprisingly-addictive reality shows or a network comedy that goes for traditional punchlines (so no Arrested Development, folks). You should start with: House Hunters,  That ‘70s Show,  Dance Moms,  Grounded for Life, or Long Island Medium.

Starting to feel like you’re getting too much quality, restful sleep? Well nothing will cure that quite like a show that gives you the creeps. The question, when deciding what exactly you want to watch is: How do you get get your creeps? Ghosts? Aliens? Zombies? Seeing the inner workings of Ryan Murphy’s brains? Only you know the answer.

For this one, you want to pick a series that’s fictional enough you will eventually fall asleep—but real enough that you start thinking, “But, what if that’s not the cat making noise downstairs…” Start with: American Horror Story, The X Files, Supernatural, The Twilight Zone, or The Walking Dead.

Feeling ambitious this winter? Of course you are! And that’s why you should spend a little bit of time watching a show that’ll allow you to casually drop some knowledge on the people around you. Oh, and by casually, I do mean memorizing facts and manipulating conversation topics so that you get to shine.

For this one, you don’t want to challenge yourself too much (I mean, if you wanted to do that, you’d like read a book.) At least not in the beginning. So, start with: This Is Life With Lisa Ling,  Planet Earth, TED Talks, Bill Nye, the Science Guy, or How it Works.

As you’ve probably heard from your own colleauges, Sunday nights are the night to watch TV now.  And if I was in the habit of making up rumors that sound believable, I’d say Emmy voters don’t even look at the rest of the schedule when picking which shows to nominate. While it’s impossible to watch every single one, you can most definitely pick a few that allow you to be that person who shouts, “Hey! No spoilers, I’m still on season one!”

For this one, you want to go with the most-talked-about shows. Start with: Game of Thrones, The Good Wife, Homeland, Veep, or Quantico.

Remember that time your friend came to brunch, talking about some show called Transparent, and you were all like, “Oh my god Madison, enough.” And then it got nominated for approximately all the Emmys and you felt really mad at yourself for not jumping on the bandwagon sooner. Don’t let that happen to you again.

For this one, you want to go for a title with great reviews that people don’t really know anything about—yet. Start with: Master of None, Catastrophe, Casual, BoJack Horseman, or Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

So, you’ve cut the cord and you feel pretty good about yourself. After all, while the rest of your friends are left paying their “cable bill,” you’re flush with extra cash. The only thing is that you’re still watching all the same shows you did before—just a day behind or a season late. Meaning this brilliant idea’s not exactly going to plan. No worries! Rather than see how long a network takes to stream a show, stick to Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu originals.

For this one, you need to be careful not to watch any old original—but rather the shows that are actually good. Start with: The Man in the High Castle, Marvel’s Jessica Jones, Difficult People,  Mozart in the Jungle, or Narcos. 

Jenni Maier’s an editor and writer living in New York City. She’s phenomenal at binge-watching TV shows. Even when the weather’s nice out. You can follow her on Twitter @MayorJenni.