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The 88th Academy Awards are being held this Sunday night, February 28, 2016. The broadcast on ABC, which starts at 7pm ET, will mark the climax of this year’s relatively tame awards season, one that’s mainly notable for the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio will likely walk away with his first Oscar. The lack of suspense in the Best Actor and Best Actress races, though, is counterbalanced by one moment that, year after year, maintains its suspenseful nature: The In Memoriam segment!
This annual tribute to Hollywood’s recent deceased is infinitely more complex in nature than your standard awards show montage. Like a great mixtape, a well-executed death montage has to ebb and flow just so, playing well both in the room AND to the millions of people watching at home in their living rooms. For starters, you have to lead off with a notable death in order to get the applause rolling, but then the lowly editor has the challenge of maintaining momentum throughout the piece, all the while saving the most “important” death for last. Here at Decider, we call this position of the “In Memoriam” segment the “anchor” slot.
With that in mind, what you’ll find here is a guide to handicapping who we think the Academy feels is the most “important” person to die since last year’s telecast. So let’s take a moment to consider the headspace of the lowly editor—someone who is, no doubt, locked in a windowless room and surrounded by the attention-starved ghosts of Hollywood’s most recently deceased stars and starlets—and handicap which star of the silver screen will be anchoring this year’s In Memoriam segment. (For context, last year’s was anchored by Mike Nichols, who narrowly defeated Robin Williams.)
HOW OLD: 68
PROMINENT FILMS: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
ODDS: 10000:1
RATIONALE: The hulking, 6'4" Hansen portrayed Leatherface in director Tobe Hooper's unrelenting horror masterpiece, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And, well, that's about it. Still, a worthy entrant!Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 67
PROMINENT FILMS: Jerry Maguire
ODDS: 1000:1
RATIONALE: Frey is an icon, no doubt about it, but not for his work in front of the camera as an actor. He'll make the montage because STAR POWER but hell would have to freeze over* for him to get the pole position.
*That was an Eagles joke. Get it?Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 57
PROMINENT FILMS: The Last Dragon, Action Jackson
ODDS: 1000:1
RATIONALE: There was a moment there in the mid-'80s where Vanity was the hottest woman in the world. She caught the eye of Prince, recorded a hit single ("Nasty Girl"), and made the leap to Hollywood. Sadly, though, the ingenue developed a pretty nasty cocaine addiction, which cut her career short before it really got started.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 98
PROMINENT FILMS: Tootsie, Police Academy
ODDS: 750:1
RATIONALE: George Gaynes was born George Jongejans in Helsinki, Finland, way back in 1917. This strapping Nordic hunk got his start on American television in the 1950s, and worked steadily until the 1990s. He's perhaps best known as Punky Brewster's father, but his best film work came as the bumbling police commandant in the forgettable Police Academy films.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 43
PROMINENT FILMS: Can't Buy Me Love
ODDS: 650:1
RATIONALE: In 1987, the world was Amanda Peterson's oyster. A child actor, she was making the graceful transition from TV star to movie star, but sadly, she fell victim to Hollywood's dark side and never recovered. RIP Cindy Mancini, RIP.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 85
PROMINENT FILMS: Awakenings, Reality Bites
ODDS: 500:1
RATIONALE: Along her husband Jerry Stiller, Anne Meara was one-half of the renowned comedy duo, Stiller & Meara. Mother to Ben Stiller, Meara's most memorable work was done on television, not the silver screen.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 61
PROMINENT FILMS: They Live!, Hell Comes To Frogtown
ODDS: 500:1
RATIONALE: "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum." One of the best heels in the history of professional wrestling turned to Hollywood in the late '80s, and managed to become a consistent presence in B-movies for the rest of his career. He's not exactly pole position material, but I'd be surprised if he got snubbed from the In Memoriam reel. Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 13 (in human years)
PROMINENT FILMS: The Artist
ODDS: 400:1
RATIONALE: Uggie was a fixture of the 2012 awards circuit, where he tirelessly campaigned on behalf of the (virtually) silent film, The Artist (which ended up winning Best Picture, somehow). He let the limelight get to him, though, developing a nasty heroin problem and canine syphilis after a 3 month bender filled with unprotected sex. Just kidding. He was a good dog, but a dog nonetheless, and there are plenty of worthy humans who kicked the bucket since the Oscars last year.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 89
PROMINENT FILMS: To Kill A Mockingbird
ODDS: 400:1
RATIONALE: Who doesn't love To Kill A Mockingbird? Hollywood, that's who. The film features one of the most beloved characters in literary and cinematic history, Atticus Finch, and that daffy broad waited 55 years to publish her sequel? There's nothing Hollywood hates more than a quitter.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 65
PROMINENT FILMS: E.T., The Extra-Terrestrial, Kundun
ODDS: 250:1
RATIONALE: If we were to go back to 1982 and re-award the Oscars, Mathison's Academy Award nominated script for E.T. would almost certainly triumph over the long-forgotten Gandhi. Mathison was married to Harrison Ford for over 20 years, and her tight relationship with Hollywood royalty (Spielberg! Coppola! Scorsese!) means that she'll secure a solid place in this year's In Memoriam montage.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD:
PROMINENT FILMS: Scarface, Big
ODDS: 200:1
RATIONALE: The pride of Staten Island, the gruff Loggia racked up an amazing 231 credits (!!!) throughout his 60+ year career. His career really took off in the '80s, thanks to his work in films like An Officer And A Gentleman and Big. He earned an Academy Award nomination in 1985 for Best Supporting Actor for his work in the sexy legal thriller Jagged Edge, but lost to Don Ameche in Cocoon.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 93
PROMINENT FILMS: The Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones
ODDS: 100:1
RATIONALE: No one in this year's field scored more acting credits than one Christopher Lee, who has 278 acting credits to his name on the Internet Movie Database. His movies have grossed over $3.4 billion in worldwide box office, which is a huge number no doubt, but let's get on the same page here: the simple fact of the matter is that he was a supporting player in most of these films. The only movies where his face was front and center on the poster were the dozens of vampire movies he made in the '60s and '70s. Not exactly prestige stuff. Sorry, Christopher, but you're trumped by...Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 85
PROMINENT FILMS: Deliverance, The Deer Hunter, McCabe & Mrs. Miller
OSCAR WINS: 1978 Academy Award for Best Cinematography (Close Encounters Of The Third Kind)
ODDS: 75:1
RATIONALE: One of the great cinematographers in the history of Hollywood, Vilmos has over 100 credits to his name. Winner of the 1999 Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Society of Cinematographers, he was nominated for a total of 4 Oscars throughout his career. he also won an Emmy in 1993 for his work on the mini-series Stalin, and a BAFTA for his work on The Deer Hunter. Despite all of this success, he's going to be overshadowed by...Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 61
PROMINENT FILMS: Titanic, Braveheart
OSCAR WINS: 1998 Academy Award for Best Music, Original Song (Titanic); 1998 Academy Award for Best Music, Original Dramatic Score (Titanic) ODDS: 50:1
RATIONALE: Is there a more memorable film score of the last 20 years than Titanic? Hell, of the last 50 years? Horner's work on Titanic was an integral part of that film's runaway success, but he was no one-trick pony. He was nominated for 8 other Academy Awards, which includes his work on "Somewhere Out There," the unforgettable theme from An American Tail. He's the most decorated person in the death montage tonight, but the Oscars aren't going to put a below-the-line person in the pole position. Sorry, folks, that's not how Hollywood works.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 83
PROMINENT FILMS: Lawrence Of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago
ODDS: 20:1
RATIONALE: Sharif starred in two of Hollywood's most glorious epics of all-time, which is enough to warrant him a place in this year's Top 5 most likely In Memoriam winners. If he had won that Oscar back in 1963 for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for his work in Lawrence Of Arabia, he might have won tonight. Alas, he falls behind... Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 95
PROMINENT FILMS: Miracle On 34th Street, The Parent Trap
ODDS: 15:1
RATIONALE: In a stroke of fortuitous timing, "Big Red" won an honorary Academy Award just last year. Phew! This tall Irish lass was a star member of the RKO stable in the '30s and '40s, and one of the great beauties of her time. Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 77
PROMINENT FILMS: Ocean's Eleven, The Karate Kid
ODDS: 10:1
RATIONALE: You know what Hollywood respects more than good looks and incredible acting chops? SOMEONE WHO MAKES FUCKIN' MONEY, that's what. And that's what Jerry Weintraub, producer of films, TV shows, concerts and more, did over the course of his 40+ year career. His films grossed well into the billions of dollars, which puts him in a VERY good spot in this year's In Memoriam montage. Not enough to get the #1 spot, though.Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 83
PROMINENT FILMS: Star Trek
ODDS: 7:1
RATIONALE: As far as icons go, you'd be hard pressed to find a bigger one in this year's death pool than Leonard Nimoy. He's Spock, ferchrissakes! That said, he's Spock, for Christ's sake. A character that originated on TELEVISION, that bastard ghetto. This is Hollywood, damn it, and there's no WAY the powers that be will let a TV star be the last dead person that a room full of GOD DAMN LIVING MOVIE STARS has to applaud for. Hellz no!Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 76
PROMINENT FILMS: Scream, A Nightmare On Elm Street
ODDS: 3:1
RATIONALE: Remember what we said about Jerry Weintraub? Specifically, the part about him making Hollywood fat cats a SHIT TON of money over the years? That goes doubly for Wes Craven, one of the biggest brands in horror movie history. For a stretch there between, say, 1985 and 2005, he was one of the few directors whose name on a poster would guarantee boffo box office. That said, he made movies for the peasants, the plebeians, the common people, and the Oscars is about celebrating the fucking PAGEANTRY of cinema, people! Not just the money! (It's really all about the money, of course.) But not tonight it isn't! This is about CHANGING LIVES. Celebrating artistry! Jerking each other off with statuettes! Wes Craven was nominated for exactly ZERO of those Little Gold Men throughout his illustrious career, which means he'll take a backseat to...Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 69
PROMINENT FILMS: Die Hard, Love Actually, the Harry Potter series
ODDS: 2:1
RATIONALE: Want a quick way to know if you're old? You identify Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber, the sleazily charismatic Eurotrash villain in Die Hard. Why does this make you old? Because everyone under the age of 30 knows him best as Severus Snape, the diabolical head of House Slytherin in the Harry Potter films. Rickman was nominated for four BAFTAS (including a 1992 win for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for his work in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves), but sadly, no Oscars. His legacy is undeniable, but his lack of hardware means that he falls behind...Photo: Everett Collection
HOW OLD: 69
PROMINENT FILMS: Labyrinth, The Man Who Fell To Earth
ODDS: 3:2
RATIONALE: Bowie wasn't much of an actor, let's be honest. That said, he had a PRESENCE on-screen, no doubt about it. Considering that this year's field of dead actors, directors, producers and below-the-liners isn't chock full of major movie stars or Oscar winners, and also that Bowie's death is so fresh, we're placing him at #1 in our Death Montage Power Rankings. Disagree with us? Let us know in the comments!Photo: Everett Collection
UPDATE (11:01PM): Oh well, I blew it (again). Shout out to Leonard Nimoy, aka Spock, the anchor of the 2016 In Memoriam montage.
