So Your Date Hates Your Favorite Show—Is That An Automatic Dealbreaker?

Our choice in TV shows these days says so much more about us that it ever did. We have an endless amount of options to choose from, so we must choose wisely. The same can be said for dating. We aimlessly swipe through Tinder the same way we swipe through our Netflix queue, looking for that perfect match that makes your heart skip a beat. It’s got to look good and be worth a solid chunk of your time.
We’re probably more likely to give a movie or full season of a TV show a chance than a date. A movie can surprise you with a fun ending, while a date so rarely does. In fact, you can usually tell pretty early on whether the date is right for you. And sometimes that person will do you the favor of essentially handing over a huge, bright red flag to let you know: this is not going to work.
My red flag WAS a TV show. Well, his lack of interest in one, to be specific. I went on a date with a dude who told me he hated Broad City. What? Who hates Broad City? Ok, plenty of people, but maybe I try to not find myself on dates with them to begin with. And look: if you are taking a critical look at the half hour Comedy Central show and have some interesting thoughts on creative decisions Abbi and Ilana are making, fine. I’m very much open to hearing them. Not this bro. He was dismissive and did not seem open to hearing an opposing argument. His mind was made up.
It took me a little big longer to entirely decide this is not the person for me, but the first shot had been fired. I spent the rest of the date trying to figure out if his Broad City dislike was a fluke, and if it was something I could work around and live with, should he start to dazzle me and things moved forward. It was not, I could not, and he did not.

This is not about Broad City. Ok, it is. It’s a hilarious, fun show that is capturing millennial females of New York in an energizing, unique way. Abbi and Ilana are me, and I am them. I wish. But still! This is a show I find highly entertaining and humorous and looked forward to watching every week. So right off the bat, this dude is telling me several things: 1) We might have very different senses of humor and that can be troubling. 2) He has already made up his mind about this show for unsubstantiated reasons and does not seem willing to budge. 3) He’s not going to want to hang out on Wednesday nights and watch this show with me when it comes back next year. 4) We will probably get in a fight about he wants to watch at that time and we’re doomed.
Yes, point 4 can sound a little bit dramatic—but it’s not wrong. It’s points 1 and 2 that are the actual reasons this date came to a halt. The real red flags are how dismissive this man was of something I’m interested in, and how the only laughter I was serving up was nervous-flavored. For a man who talked about his worldwide travels and job as a teacher, he sure was…dull. The good news is that there’s a wonderful lady out there who also does not care for Broad City and is going to find this man beyond intriguing.
The reason a second date did not occur was because this was just not a match. It was not simply because he didn’t share the same TV show interests as myself. But what if was? We’re consuming more entertainment than ever before, every minute on every screen. Is someone not enjoying the same programming as you a reason to swipe left? I say it is. Let’s examine the exaggerated reason for this:
If you can’t agree on a movie to watch on a Friday night, does this mean you won’t be able to agree on what house to move into or what to name your children or what religion they will be raised?
And the more understandable approach:
If you can’t agree on a movie to watch on Friday night is that just going to be an annoying way to end your week?
Bottom line, you want to know that you’re on the same page with someone. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to have identical Netflix queues. This means you want to find someone who has SOME overlap with what you love to watch. But equally as important is someone who can recommend new things you’ve never even heard of, and is willing to take a chance and watch something you feel passionate about. We all want a person who knows how to compromise now on something as arguable simple as picking a Friday night flick, so that it’s a built in skill for when the wedding bells ring. Marriage is all about compromise, or so I’ve heard. Is there even a bigger turn on than someone who can admit they were wrong? Yes: someone who tells you that you were right.

It’s not that you want someone who has the exact same appreciation for Entourage. You want an appreciation of that appreciation. You want to know that something that matters to you, whether it’s an HBO show and movie about four guys from Queens who make it big in Hollywood, or a hobby or group you’re a part of, also matters to the person who you care about and they’re willing to invest some time to try out something different, weird, or nerdy. They don’t need to know everything about Vincent Chase; they just need to understand that he exists and why it matters to you. Oh, and it matters.
The entertainment we choose to let into our eyeballs is incredibly similar to the people we choose to let into our hearts. Are my horizons being broadened, am I laughing, am I connecting in some way, and am I so excited to tell everyone I know about this?
Keep swiping. You’ll find that show or movie that you can’t get enough of, and the person you’ll want to watch it with forever.