‘Bloodline’ — The Hottest Show On TV — Is Back

Did that headline grab your attention? Did you click this link in the hopes of reading all about how sexy this Netflix Original is? Maybe we’d have a gallery of steamy hookups. If you were lucky, we’d even have a few pictures of shirtless Kyle Chandler; I’d click on that. I’m about to ruin all of your sex-driven hopes. Bloodline is the only show on television that nails how god-forsakenly hot Florida’s weather is.

Bloodline is one of Netflix’s more recent and underrated dramas. The show follows the Rayburns, an affluent family in the Florida Keys that runs a beautiful inn called Rayburn House. Everything is perfect for detective John Rayburn (Kyle Chandler) and his bathing suit and linen-clad family — he has a loving wife, an assortment of sweet children, a successful job as a detective, and a great relationship with his parents and most of his siblings. However, when his older brother Danny (Ben Mendelsohn) enters the picture, all of that dramatically changes. The re-emergence of this black sheep brother is what takes this shows from an idyllic vacation spot to a slow-burning and epic drama about betrayal, revenge, nepotism, drug-dealing, sex, lies, and murder. Though it’s a show too dense to binge, it’s an addicting drama.

As much fun as that first season was, it ended on a surprising note, both from a plot and creative standpoint. The last two episodes showed good guy and family protector John finally snapping and drowning the most dynamic member of the show, Danny. It’s rare that shows are willing to kill off their villain so quickly, but Bloodline has always been about the slow burn. Season Two picks up where Season One left off with the Rayburn siblings attempting to cover up Danny’s death while avoiding two new aggressive figures — Danny’s son and a man from Danny’s past, Ozzy Delvecchio (John Leguizamo). Unlike other murder-focused dramas like How to Get Away with Murder, Bloodline’s second season is dedicated to showing the uncomfortable long-term effects of murdering your brother. However, Danny is far from gone this season, taking on a role that can best be described as an omnipresent ghost. If you’re looking for a more authentic emotional exploration of what it takes to escape a murder, this is it. Also, if you like to see beloved characters squirm under the weight of their truth, Season Two has you covered on that front. Both John and Meg (Linda Cardellini) flounder a comedic amount under the pressure considering they’re a detective and lawyer, respectively. While all of this is enough to get me to watch Season Two, there’s another reason why I happily dug back into the Rayburn clan. Bloodline’s portrayal of Florida is dead on.

I lived in Florida for 20 years of my life, and let me tell you, it is hot. No, stop rolling your eyes. Florida’s heat is an all-controlling, never-ending monster that looms over the entire penis-shaped state. You don’t realize how uncomfortably hot Florida can be until you’ve lived there for several years. Sweat soaking through your shirt and pouring down your neck is almost desirable when you’re on vacation. It’s not nearly as cute when you’re going in for a job interview. I’m not complaining; it is what it is. Every place — even if that place is a vacation destination — has annoying aspects. However, all of this heat has resulted in me having a very specific pop culture pet peeve. I hate it when characters who either live in or visit Florida don’t sweat.

You would think that a Florida location would be the ideal opportunity to make your already sexy cast look even sexier, but most shows don’t take advantage of the heat. Instead, their Florida professionals look just as prim and polished as their New York or LA ones. The only difference is there are more palm trees in the background. That’s not at all the case when it comes to Bloodline. Both John and Meg are accomplished professionals, but John typically rocks the open shirt look, and Meg wears shorts to her office multiple times.

Then there’s Danny, who, when he was alive, always looked like he was either melting or needed a bath:

When it’s that hot, you stop thinking about what looks cute. Your wardrobe becomes a game of decision Jenga. What can I wear that is job appropriate, matches whatever my hair has decided to do today, is cool enough, lets my neck and feet breathe, and won’t turn me into an adult movie extra the second Florida decides it needs 20 minutes of rain? Consider that the Rayburns’ less exciting side quest that they are crushing. Want to know how I know that? Check out John’s sunglasses:

I will bet anything that those are supposed to be a pair of Costa knock offs. What are Costas? Sunglasses that are specifically designed for boaters and people who go outdoors that typically cost around $250. It could be possible that John is wearing those because he’s pretty well off financially, but I think not. Costa sunglasses come with a lifetime guarantee and are specifically designed to make the sun look less miserable, and John has been established as a practical character. John isn’t irresponsibly throwing away money on fashion; he’s investing.

I could probably write a novel about all the ways Bloodline nails Florida life, from characters’ slightly Southern yet unmistakably North Floridian drawl to the bathing suits Chelsea (Chloe Sevigny) seems to wear under every outfit and Kevin’s constant tinkering with boats (Seriously, never buy a boat. They’re burning money pits that float). Basically, there are two reasons why you should watch Season Two of Bloodline: If you’re looking for a darkly emotional journey about the slow-burning consequences of murder, then start streaming now. However, if you’re looking for weather advice before visiting the Keys, Bloodline has your back on that too.

[Where to stream Bloodline]

Photos: Netflix