Why Do We Like Films That Make Us Cry?

Me Before You, originally a book by Jojo Moyes, is being released in theaters tomorrow, June 3rd. The film follows Louisa Clark (Emilia Clarke), who takes a much needed job as a caregiver for Will Traynor (Sam Clafin), a young quadriplegic man. Will is initially cold and uninterested when it comes to Louisa, while she is full of color and a zest for life. Louisa eventually discovers that Will has no desire to continue living and, as the two grow closer, she must decide if she loves him enough to let him go.

This is a story that’s been told again and again in many ways: two people fall in love, learn a lot about themselves and about life in general, and then — spoiler alert — one or both of them die. It’s been done in movies like The Notebook, The Fault in Our Stars, and A Walk to Remember. In The Notebook the characters die of old age together in a nursing home, presumably because they loved each other enough to make that dream for many a reality for themselves. In both The Fault in Our Stars and A Walk to Remember, one of the two leads succumbs to cancer.

In these films, typical life events become groundbreaking romantic gestures. In A Walk to Remember, getting married is a bigger deal because Landon knows that forever won’t actually be forever. Allie dumping her perfectly fine fiancé in favor of Noah in The Notebook becomes sweet because she can only sometimes remember their life together. And because Noah is really Ryan Gosling, but that’s neither here nor there.

Despite the endings of these films, they are widely considered some of the most romantic stories around. But … why? Why does death make a love story mean more? And why do we enjoy watching characters perish? I’d argue that the films have less to do with love and death and more to do with life itself.

If you’re able to find a love like Noah and Allie’s or Louisa and Will’s, then on some level, it makes all of the shit in life feel less shitty. When we cry for these characters whilst holding our wine and/or Ben and Jerry’s, we’re not crying solely because we’re sad, but rather because we are envious. We want something so great that dying doesn’t feel like the worst thing ever because of everything we’ve experienced.

This is shown in that when we talk about these films we’re not focusing on the ending, but rather everything that happened in the middle to make the love story so poignant. It’s about how Allie and Noah get it on in an abandoned house; or how Louisa and Will get sloppy drunk and dance at a wedding; or how Hazel and Gus egg someone’s house; or how Landon takes Jamie to stand in two places at once.

And that’s the hope of life in general, isn’t it? That when we’re on our death bed we’ll look back on our so-called glory days and laugh at the stupid things we did, treasure the ones who were by our side, and have no space to think about the things that didn’t quite work out in the end. So when you go see Me Before You this weekend and you’re sobbing your eyes out, be comforted by the fact that you’re not crying because you’re sad, but because you appreciate the power of the love story that unfolded.