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Game of Thrones

Even on TV shows you love — especially on TV shows you love — there are always going to be the characters you hate. The villains that aren’t fun but rather frustrating. The goody-two-shoes who all the other characters are constantly praising but who actually suck. The boring wastes of precious frame space. The dumb teens. Here at Decider, we’re making it our mission to determine the absolute worst character on each and every TV show. Our research will be rigorous. Our determinations will be official. Our recommendations to the networks and showrunners will be direct and to the point. Please let us know if you disagree. All dissent will be included in the official file.

A word on methodology: We will be choosing only from main-cast characters (count yourselves lucky, recurring characters). We’ll present finalists and then make a determination as to which is the worst.

Today’s case:

Who is the worst character on Game of Thrones?

The Contenders

Ellaria Sand

Worstness: We haven’t seen Ellaria since the season premiere, but she represents everything that was disappointing about that dumb Dorne storyline. Rather than cashing in on the potential for female political leadership in Dorne, Ellaria pouted for a season (what is it with bastards on this show and pouting?) before going from zero to murderer by killing Myrcella Lannister and then Doran Martell. And yet because we didn’t revisit her character, it’s hard to even give her credit for pulling off a coup.

Mitigating Factors: Ellaria was actually pretty intriguing when she was in King’s Landing in season 4. That was when Oberyn was still alive, and they were all about the bisexual hookups. A lot of things died when the Mountain crushed Oberyn’s skull. Ellaria’s chill was one of them.

Jaqen H’ghar

Worstness: Well, for one thing, he just recently arranged to have a young girl killed simply because she didn’t want to murder a brassy actress. That’s not great. Mostly, though, Jaqen’s low-key whispery koans about nothingness and being nobody have become deathly boring. “Does a girl have a name?” At this point, we’d all change our own names to something stupid like “Jaqen H’ghar” in order to get him to shut up. That there hasn’t been much forward momentum to the storyline, regardless of him blinding and then unblinding Arya, doesn’t help. Also those monk’s robes are not at all flattering, which is important when considering …

Mitigating Factors: Remember how cool and also kind of handsome Jaqen H’ghar was in season 2? I sure do! He was a sexy assassin in Arya’s debt, and he got shit done around Harrenhal. Remembering how awesome he used to be only draws a sharper arrow to how lame he now.

Arya Stark

Worstness: I’ve already gone on at length about why Arya falls well short of the fan-favorite status she’s attained (or, truthfully, that she started with). She’s been mired in a loser storyline in Braavos for two seasons now.

Mitigating Factors: She’s still a Stark, which puts her above a lot of other people. And her scenes with the actress this season have been very good. If she can survive this latest unpleasantness with the waif and hightail it out of Braavos, she stands a good chance at being a lot more interesting.

Ramsay Bolton

Worstness: As a character, he’s a complete monster. Bloodthirsty, petty, paranoid, sadistic — he’s really got all the worst characteristics all wrapped up in one sneering package. Where he goes from bad to worst is that the show has been leaning on the Ramsay character for shock value whenever they need a jolt of a murder with basically no provocation.

Mitigating Factors: A show like Game of Thrones needs a monstrous villain, and the White Walkers can’t quite cut it because they don’t exactly have personalities. It seems like a lot of the dissatisfaction with Ramsay is because he’s so good at being bad. Also? Not for nothing but Iwan Rheon is very handsome.

Theon Greyjoy

Worstness: Theon has been the worst since the very beginning, when he was a snot-nosed little jerk living with the Starks in Winterfell. After essentially getting bullied by his jerk family into raiding Winterfell, he did so while imprisoning the two tiniest, most helpless Starks, Bran and Rickon. And then, oh, that’s right, he burned two innocent children to a crisp in order to fake that he’d killed Bran and Rickon. And STILL he couldn’t keep Winterfell. And if you’re thinking that was all a long time ago and so much has happened to him since then, remember that he’s currently a half-animated husk who’s currently being a downer of a wingman when his sister wants to chase tail in Essos.

Mitigating Factors: He did help Sansa get out of Ramsay’s clutches in Winterfell. That counts for something.

The High Sparrow

Worstness: All the piousness of conservative, gay-bashy, sex-nagative religion combined with the self-righteousness of your nearest Bernie Bro. A winning blend! Whatever happens to the High Sparrow before this season is over, he’s got it coming. We’d like him better as a villain if all his speeches to women like Cersei, Margaery, and Lady Olenna didn’t sound exactly the same.

Mitigating Factors: You don’t have to like him, but you have to admit he’s been shockingly effective at grabbing power away from the Lannisters. Also, we wouldn’t have a Shame Nun without him. She’s the worst too, but she’s been great for the memes.

Jorah Mormont

Worstness: Mopey ol’ Jorah. Sure, it probably sucks to be slowly dying from stone-person’s disease, and to have to do so while the lady you’re in love with is busy shacking up with the cocky Abercrombie model next door. But it’s probably enough with the sad longing looks at Daenerys. Making her feel guilty for not loving you back won’t cure your stone disease, Jorah. Neither will moping off into the sunset.

Mitigating Factors: It’s not hard to sympathize with unrequited love.

Bran Stark

Worstness: It’s a universal truth that kids are albatrosses around the necks of quality dramas. Bran didn’t do too much to buck this trend while he was being dragged across the snow for two seasons on his way to the tree of the Three-Eyed Raven. And now that he’s gotten there, here’s what he’s accomplished: Hodor, Summer, and the Three-Eyed Raven himself are all dead, and all Bran has to show for it is an internal supercut of the history of Game of Thrones. Bran, you are TERRIBLE at this.

Mitigating Factors: It’s refreshing to have a character on this show whose motivation isn’t vengeance or power.

The Finalists

It’s Jaqen‘s uselessness versus Ramsay‘s awfulness versus Jorah‘s mopeyness. Ramsay is abominable, but if we got rid of him today, who would Jon and Sansa ride into battle against in the season finale? Heroes need villains, and Ramsay is the villain we’ve got right now. We’d wish Jorah away, but honestly, the greyscale is probably going to take care of that all on its own. Which means that the title of Worst Character on Game of Thrones goes to …