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It was a billionaire-vs-billionaire brawl on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night, as Mark Cuban — owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, Shark Tank star, and all-around big-mouth — showed up for two segments, both of which were dedicated to bashing Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.
Let’s first tackle the part where Cuban tells Trump to wash his balls. Colbert invited Cuban to take part in a “Take the Gloves Off” segment, where Cuban delivered a series 0f (scripted) jabs and uppercuts at Trump, in the style of a verbal heavyweight bout.
Tough to tell what’s the best burn of the bunch. I’m partial to “When you’re going through customs and they ask if you’ve got anything to declare, try not to blurt out ‘BANKRUPTCY!” But clearly the big-ticket item (and mic-drop line) was, “The only way you’re worth $10 billion is if I paid you nine and a half billion to wash my balls!”
Still, Cuban is probably not going to quit his day job (of, you know, being a billionaire) to become an insult comic. Not when he’s massacring punchlines like that poor traffic cone joke. Colbert as Cuban’s hype man scored a lot better. Particularly with, “He just dropped you like one of your first two wives!”
Later, Cuban sat down for a more traditional interview with Colbert, but he didn’t lay off of Trump there either. “[Trump] had a really good chance to be different and a really good chance to change things,” Cuban said, “but he doesn’t do the work. He’s lazy.”
BILLIONAIRE FIGHT!
The Late Show has been on fire all week as the Republican National Convention has provided endless fodder for the late-night host. It couldn’t be coming at a better time, either, since Colbert has been beset with rumors that CBS might want to bump buzzy James Corden up to the 11:30 slot and push Colbert’s show to 12:30.
