Really Internet: ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ Is Actually A Roman God

Sometimes what you need when it’s this hot outside is a nice, refreshingly beachy watch that you can stream from the comfort of your air-conditioned living room. There are few shows more fun or more ocean and beach-centric than Nickelodeon’s classic cartoon, SpongeBob SquarePants.

You’ve been alive on this planet for a while now, so there’s a good chance you know a few things about this Nicktoon. He lives in a pineapple, under the sea, and he’s best friends with a very dumb starfish, an apathetic squid, and a super genius squirrel. Oh, also our favorite ever-cheerful fry cook may or may not be an incredibly powerful Roman god. Welcome back to Really Internet, a corner of the web devoted to bringing you some of our favorite (and craziest) fan theories. Let’s dive in, shall we?

WHAT’S THE THEORY?

SpongeBob is actually a Roman god complete with godly powers, and he has been since Season One. That’s right, if this Reddit theory is to be believed, we have been watching nine seasons of undersea antics about a supernatural being.

WHY IT’S NOT THAT CRAZY

In the Season One episode “Neptune’s Spatula,” Spongebob and King Neptune go head-to-head against each other in a fry cooking competition. If SpongeBob loses, he has to give up fry cooking forever. If he wins, SpongeBob will become the royal fry cook in Atlantis and will be made into a god. Of course, this being SpongeBob, he wins the competition but chooses to return to Bikini Bottom to be with this friends. However, this theory speculates that though SpongeBob refused the first part of his victory prize — moving to Atlantis — he was still granted the powers of a god. He just doesn’t know it.

It’s a theory that sounds pretty farfetched until you look at the evidence. SpongeBob has several abilities that seem odd for an undersea sponge. First of all, SpongeBob has a weirdly respectful relationship with supernatural characters. At the end of “Neptune’s Spatula,” it’s SpongeBob who is teaching King Neptune, who has not only allowed this imbalance of power but is listening to SpongeBob. Also, SpongeBob has managed to defeat and at times befriend the Flying Dutchman. Then there’s the mystery that is Bubble Buddy.

Bubble Buddy was a friend SpongeBob created from a single bubble. One thing leads to another as they typically do in this show and SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy find themselves on the wrong side of a riot, Squidward at the helm. The presumably inanimate Bubble Buddy is about to be popped, when at the last second, he stops Squidward from popping him. It’s a funny plot twist, but it also means that SpongeBob has the ability to create life in at least some capacity. SpongeBob exhibits this power again in “Frankendoodle” when he creates his evil and poorly drawn doppelgänger. This is not tpical animal behavior.

WHY IT’S QUESTIONABLE

The series has established that a lot of SpongeBob’s power comes from either his kindness or how annoying he is (which trait is more powerful depends on what character you’re asking). Most of this fan theory’s claims — SpongeBob’s influence over others, his relationship with the Flying Dutchman, and his friendship with King Neptune — can be attributed to the character’s personality. Take King Neptune. SpongeBob won the king over with his sweetly determined attitude and superb burger-making skills. Likewise, some of the coming to life claims are a little inconsistent. The pencil in “Frankendoodle” was established to be a magical item. Also, the resurrection of Smitty Werben Man Jensen in the episode “One Man’s Trash” is attributed more to a curse than anything SpongeBob did. But then there’s Bubble Buddy.

Bubble Buddy makes absolutely no sense in the SpongeBob universe. His existence raises so many questions. Can SpongeBob create life? Are all bubbles secretly alive? Can bubbles reproduce? Do bubbles die if they reach the surface? There’s also a third option: We’re drastically over thinking all of this, and SpongeBob SquarePants is just a silly and fun kid’s show about a bunch of undersea creatures and their crazy adventures. Now that we think about it, that’s probably what’s going on.

[Where to watch SpongeBob SquarePants]

Photos: Netflix