‘The Crown’ Recap, Episode 6: “Gelignite”

Give the viewing public what they want: Princess Margaret* climbing Captain Peter Townsend like a tree.
When the lovebirds awkwardly sit Philip and Elizabeth down to tell them that their Close Friendship had turned into Passion in The Crown, Episode 6, “Gelignite,” the tension in the room is palpable. History, of course, tells us that Elizabeth will forbid them to marry, leaving a depressed, dissolute, thoroughly unpleasant, openly racist Margaret to eventually find love in the arms of the disastrous (and equally divorced) photographer Tony Snowden, a man who hated her so much by the end that he left literal lists of things he hated about her in books he knew she would flip through. She’s shown to be careless with the lives and marriages of others, here, to say the least, but her life might have been very different if she’d been allowed to pair off with Townsend, who was a steady man, all things considered. Of course, to be fair, she COULD have married him, but wasn’t willing to lose the privileges that went with toeing the line. But the deluge is not yet upon us!

Elizabeth’s “Goodness!” and hasty side-glance towards Philip immediately reveals both that the situation is extremely impossible and that she does not yet have the intestinal fortitude to simply say “ridiculous, out of the question, it’s not happening.” Can you IMAGINE having the power and the responsibility to hold your own sister’s life happiness in your hands? She just sits there, open-mouthed, longing to have someone else hold the reins, before weakly congratulating the lovers in front of a disapproving Philip.

Unfortunately, our Maggie has made an indiscreet gesture, picking a bit of fluff off her lover’s jacket in front of a journalist, and the vultures are beginning to circle. It will be a few decades yet before the wall protecting the Windsors from the shining knives of the tabloid press finally collapses, but the fact this story isn’t INSTANTLY buried reveals those fortifications are beginning to weaken. You bring the cameras into the Abbey when you want them, you’ll find that it’s not so easy to remove them when you don’t. (I typed this JUST before one of the journalists used the cameras in the Abbey as a justification for ending “the unspoken rules” against meddling in the royal family’s business, they really need to hire me as a consultant on future seasons!)

It’s fun to watch Tommy Lascelles run interference on the story (as best he can), knowing full well that he thinks Townsend is behaving like a cad. He rolls up past Margaret’s drunken party like THE ANGEL OF DEATH in order to rat her out to the Queen Mum. Oh, sweet, simple Cookie. “Should we deny it all?” No, ma’am. We are well and truly fucked on that end.
Just
Like
Margaret
I’m so sorry for that. Back to the story. My heart BROKE when Elizabeth told her that she wanted to give her sister what she wanted. I’d guessed Lascelles and Churchill are going to tag-team her on this, so I felt a bit taken aback to see the Queen Mum be the one to speak plainly to her (obviously with Lascelles in tow, who is growing on me a bit! He’s really only given her decent counsel so far.)

As ROYAL ROMANCE PUTS MONARCHY AT RISK hits newsstands across the nation, everyone starts looking more grim. Why Elizabeth is surprised that “couldn’t you just wait it out alone in a different country for two years?” doesn’t sound appealing to Margaret is a mystery to me. What 23-year-old can conceive of waiting two MINUTES for anything she wants this badly? I’ve never felt particularly sympathetic towards Margaret, who was, again, very unpleasant, but Vanessa Kirby (a very accomplished stage actress) brings such life to her portrayal, I feel moved against my will. No wonder Elizabeth longs to give her what she wants!

The attention paid to Townsend on their unfortunate trip to Belfast has Lascelles absolutely shitting bricks. TOWNSEND WAVED TO THE CROWD. It’s just not done. You could see the nails sliding into Townsend’s coffin directly from Lascelles’ eyes. Dead man walking, right here. It’s Elizabeth who ends it, though, in her own way. “Take care of it, Tommy,” doesn’t sound menacing, but WHOO BOY wait until you see it in action. I kind of wish I had a Tommy, it must be so convenient to outsource your difficult conversations by having a third party pack them off to Brussels on twenty minutes notice!

Shouldn’t have called her Lilibet, Pete.
The final showdown with Lascelles is everything one might have wanted, and I GASPED ALOUD when Lascelles said: “Car, Townsend. Waiting. Tick. Tick.” like THE SERIAL KILLER FROM THE SAW MOVIES.
Margaret’s snooty little racist comments in Rhodesia did a lot to resettle my emotions on her behalf, I must say. Life’s hard, Margaret, suck it up. I love the faces on the switchboard attendants when she hangs up on THE FREAKING QUEEN. The scorched earth she leaves in her wake will take some time to recover.

[Watch The Crown, Episode 6, “Gelignite” on Netflix]

Nicole Cliffe used to run The Toast, a niche site for queer archivists which Hillary Clinton at least pretended to like, but is now mostly just dicking around on Twitter.
*If you find Princess Margaret interesting, and you have a yen for superb literary fiction, Edward St Aubyn’s highly autobiographical Patrick Melrose novels are second to none, and she makes an extended cameo in Some Hope, the third installment.