Help! I Can’t Stop Re-Watching The Last Two Episodes Of ‘Game of Thrones’

There’s one question I dread being asked as a professional television critic more than any other: What TV show are you watching right now?

When friends, family, and colleagues ask me this, they aren’t inquiring how my work is going. They don’t care that I’m recapping Poldark or getting ready for “year end” lists. They want to know what a professional television viewer watches in her spare time, for pleasure, and not for work. I hate this question, because it usually reveals that I have been spending a lot of my spare hours re-watching the final two episodes of Game of Thrones Season Six.

That’s right: I have lost count that I’ve re-watched “The Battle of the Bastards” and “The Winds of Winter” since they debuted this summer.

In my defense, I have been keeping up with Westworld. I tore through Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life and The Crown. I’m getting into 3% and working through The Last Kingdom. And I’m always — always — watching old culinary shows and new historical docuseries. However, whenever I find myself struck with what I’ll call “viewer ennui,” a nagging sense of apathy that hits me every so often when I’m looking for what I want to watch, I find myself saying, “F*ck it. I want to watch the last two Game of Thrones episodes again.”

**SPOILERS AHEAD FOR GAME OF THRONES**

Individually, “The Battle of the Bastards” and “The Winds of Winter” are easy picks for the top five episodes of Game of Thrones‘ entire run. Together, watched back-to-back, they make for a heart-pounding one-two punch of dramatic glory. Both episodes have an epic, cinematic gloss to them. Both episodes finally wrap up conflicts that have been dragged through the series for many seasons (Starks vs. Boltons, Daenerys vs. the Slavers, Arya vs. the Freys, and Cersei vs. Everybody). Oh, and both signal a huge shift in the show. Up until now, most of Game of Thrones has felt like a roller coaster slowly edging up to make its first thrilling drop. These two episodes felt like the beginning of that swift decent into high-stakes mayhem that will likely envelop the series’ end. If you think I’m overreacting, remember that we’re headed for a showdown between dragons and ice zombies.

That all being said, they are both intensely good episodes of television.

Let’s start with “Battle of the Bastards,” which may well have had one of the most brilliantly choreographed and shot battle scenes I’ve ever seen — and as a military history nerd, I’ve seen quite a few. In just the space of about 20 minutes, we get an avalanche of harrowing war games and references to history and film’s most iconic battles. It all starts with Ramsay Bolton’s brutal psychological games in the form of Rickon’s death (zig zag, you little moron!), designed to draw Jon and his men into a foolhardy charge. Then, Jon’s troops are met with an intense arrow volley that recalls the Battle of Agincourt. After that, we follow Jon on a truly devastating journey through the chaos that is a medieval battlefield. The rest of the battle evokes some of the worst moments of World War I — those mountains of corpses – and the shield and spear-based battle tactics of the Ancient Romans and the Viking warriors. The whole thing ends with the Knights of the Vale, dressed like glimmering Arthurian knights, riding to the rescue like a dream.

Yeah, it’s a lot — and that’s not even how the episode ends.

“The Battle of the Bastards” eventually gives us two emotional showdowns. First, Jon Snow literally beats down the dark mirror version of himself, Ramsay Bolton, in man-to-man combat. Then, Sansa gets her revenge on her abusive husband by feeding him to his own dogs. By the end of the episode, the Stark banner hangs from the Winterfell rafters once more and a semblance of balance has finally been restored to the hollowed out North.

How do you top such an elegant display of awfulness? With a bang.

It’s long been known that the Mad King Aerys hid caches of wildfire (a highly flammable neon green substance known for its volatility) all over Kings Landing. Aerys’ threat to unleash them is what forced a young Jaime Lannister to stab him in the back. Tyrion used some sparingly in the Battle of the Blackwater back in Season Two, but by and large, wildfire is Westeros’s “nuclear option.” It’s the horrific weapon you never, ever want to use because of the loss of life that would occur.

So what does Cersei Lannister do? She uses all of it to blow up each and every one of her rivals in one fell swoop.

The first fifteen minutes of “The Winds of Winter” is a masterclass in building dread. Composer Ramin Djawadi debuted a brand new (Philip Glass-inspired?) track for the build up to Cersei’s horrifying act of terrorism. But the drama doesn’t end after the Sept of Baelor goes boom. Cersei luxuriates in the darkness of her deed and poor Tommen is compelled to jump to his death. This leaves her with nothing to live for but to take the Iron Throne.

And that’s just one act of the episode. “The Winds of Winter” also sees Daenerys allying herself with the surviving Tyrells, Martells, and Yara and Theon Greyjoy, Arya getting revenge upon the Freys, and Jon being declared King of the North. Oh, and one more thing happens: We learn that Jon is Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen’s son. It’s half soap opera, half medieval epic, and completely delicious.

You know, when I break down how awesome both episodes are, it’s tough to stay embarrassed. If I want to re-watch “The Battle of the Bastards” and “The Winds of Winter” ad infinitum, who cares? Other people can shame my re-watch choices, but I’m going to proudly relive two of the best hours of TV at my leisure.

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