Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
First things first. Yes, Nick Cannon jokes about his gig hosting America’s Got Talent – eight summers in primetime on NBC, with his ninth season and the talent showcase’s 12th beginning production next week – on his third stand-up special for Showtime, Stand Up, Don’t Shoot, only he doesn’t say NBC cost him his black card.
“I grew up like a real n****r. All that stuff. But I honestly believe, once I started doing America’s Got Talent, they took my real n****r card. They did! Because then like these type of people started showing up to my shows,” Cannon says, jokingly pointing to three older white audience members in the front row. “I can’t do the real n****r stuff no more, because then they’ll put me on TMZ.”
TMZ, in fact, rushed to post Cannon’s talk with Howard Stern on Friday promoting his Showtime special, where he joked that if NBC wanted to fire him from AGT because of his Showtime jokes, he could sue them.
NBC’s executives may look different, but the network has been down this road before. In 1977, at the height of his game, Richard Pryor launched a primetime variety show on NBC, only to find out immediately that the Peacock Network didn’t want any of the racial or social commentary that elevated Pryor to become one of the all-time greats in stand-up comedy. Four episodes later, Pryor’s show disappeared. Audiences more recently found themselves shocked in comedy clubs to find out how outrageous Tracy Morgan could be, and only the blurring of his real life into the fictional character of Tracy Jordan on NBC’s 30 Rock could soften the transition for fans. And somewhere, there still exist fans of Bob Saget unaware that his live stand-up act is much raunchier than anything he ever could tell as the father on Full House or the host of America’s Funniest Home Videos.
As for Cannon, he jokes with the audience at his taping in South Central Los Angeles that you may encounter different variations on his persona, from Drumline to Wild ‘N Out to activist to rapper.
His audience doesn’t always buy what he’s selling, laughing at his mentions of rapping or acting like a “real n****r,” and he leans into it.
Dressed all in black, with a wool knit cap, leather jacket with FREEDOM emblazoned in all-caps on the back, one glove, big boots, an African pendant necklace and a gold microphone with a handle extended to resemble a gun, Cannon announces this show is for the pimps and the players, even shouting-out and shaking hands with Too $hort. Then he turns to the three white people by the other side of the stage.
“I apologize, white people. We over here talking about bitches and players and stuff, and you think this is America’s Got Talent. It’s going to be a little different tonight. America’s Got Talent, but America’s got n****rs, too, so. You staring at a real one onstage. It’s goin’ down. You know, you thought you was going to get the tight suits with the shiny shoes. Not tonight. We are in Crenshaw, this is the f*** you going to get right here. Ain’t got that tight budget down here. But don’t worry! Don’t worry. You all are safe. I got you. I’m still friendly Nick. Just give me a wink if you need it. The officer will help you out.”
But don’t be surprised by his language in this hour of comedy: “Matter of fact, that’s what NBC gonna stand for tonight. N****r Better Come on, ‘cuz n****rs be cussing. So n***a be careful.”
He continues:
“Cause you all see me on the show. Man, sometimes I wish I could say the stuff that I really want to say that I be really thinking. Cause you all see my face on America’s Got Talent.” Cannon pauses to make a face as he describes the next auditioning contestant as he wished he could. “But I can’t say that! I can’t talk like that! Because that’d mess up the white money. It will! Shit. I almost f***ed it up, too. On the finale. Did y’all see that? I wore a turban on that motherf***er…We got all type of calls and complaints and shit like that. Why is Nick Cannon dressed like Blanche from The Golden Girls? Shit, it is my Constitutional right to dress like an old white lady if I want to, shit.”
His foolproof plan includes surrounding himself with an inner circle of friends who can act and talk the way he wants to, protecting him from actual trouble. Cannon also jokes in this hour about the differences between President Barack Obama and President Donald Trump, from how their followers act in public to how he imagines the two presidents behave privately.
Cannon is willing to crack jokes at his own expense, regarding his marriage and divorce to Mariah Carey, and raising his own children. He has a self-deprecating way of dealing with the police, as well as a lighthearted proposal to make police officers care more about their communities. He explains simply and amusingly why All Lives Matter is not an appropriate response to the Black Lives Matter movement. And he breaks out his Bill Cosby impersonation as a way to chastise his friend Chris Brown.
But the hour opens with scenes from the past year, with Cannon joining protest marches across America (“What do we want? Peace! When do we want it? Now!”) and to the gates outside the White House, where he stands with pioneering comedian and activist Dick Gregory. Back inside, Cannon asked Gregory for advice. “What should I do, I mean as a comic, getting ready for this next special and I’m talking about everything. I’m talking about all this stuff they probably don’t even want me talking about.”
Gregory’s reply: “Here’s what you do…I tell people, don’t ever say you’re going to work. I’m going to make people happy. That’s all! Work is a negative. That’s what the slave did. Here’s what you do. I stand up in the club every night and say, ‘Let me tell you n****rs something. They told you don’t use the word n****r. The N-word. Wasn’t one black person sitting in the room when that decision was made. Did you hear me? Not one.”
But that’s not all. Gregory had one more piece of advice, considering both Cannon’s comedy and his special’s title. “Now if they shoot your ass, then you should call me. Make them let you call me. ‘Mr. Gregory, this shit don’t work.’”
UPDATE (10:30 A.M.): Not surprisingly, NBC executives were less than thrilled with Cannon’s new special. Cannon just posted a lengthy rant to his Facebook page declaring that he is “being threatened with termination by (NBC) Executives because … I had disparaged their brand,” as well as “So I wish AGT and NBC the best in its upcoming season but I can not see myself returning.”
Sean L. McCarthy works the comedy beat for his own digital newspaper, The Comic’s Comic; before that, for actual newspapers. Based in NYC but will travel anywhere for the scoop: Ice cream or news. He also tweets @thecomicscomic and podcasts half-hour episodes with comedians revealing origin stories: The Comic’s Comic Presents Last Things First.
