The ‘Billions’ Recap Reality Index: Season 2, Episode 1 “Risk Management”

The recap is back! Welcome back to the ‘Billions’ Recap Reality Index, where each week we tally a list of events from the most recet episode of Billions that we found to be either: A) too real to fail or B) as fake as a toxic asset’s triple A rating (scored on our completely subjective point system, of course).

This week we provide you with due diligence on the first episode of Season 2, “Risk Management.”

When we last saw Axe and the gang, the war between Bobby and Chuck had left both men’s lives in ruins, with Axe’s hedge fund literally torn apart, and Chuck’s marriage in shambles. Wendy had left both in her rear view mirror, and we start season two seeing how these two have managed in the aftermath.

THE ‘BILLIONS’ REALITY INDEX

REALER THAN AXELROD GOING PETER THIEL AND SPONSORING LAWSUITS AGAINST HIS ARCH ENEMY

• While waiting outside for Axe Capital to reopen, Dollar Bill takes the prize for the first fleece vest of this season.
  PLUS 2 for the official uniform of the hedge fund bro
• After his wife leaves him, of course Chuck Rhoades turns to Judo. MMA has turned into the go to pursuit of the mid life crisis.
  PLUS 1
• Wags crushing and snorting pharmies; Adderall to get him ready to rock, oxycodone to take the edge off, and a cigarette batting cleanup. Breakfast of champions.
  PLUS 2

• For security/ compliance, all employees of the fund are now issued magnetic ID bracelets for entry and exit inside Axe Capital. Many funds employ a similar system using key cards.
  PLUS 1
• During his speech to his employees, Bobby proclaims “The entire hedge fund industry is under siege” due to “Shitty returns… outflow of institutional money”. Sounds about right.
  PLUS 2
• Afterwards, Axe has his employees do a demonstration covering their faces with cards to illustrate just how many hedge funds are predicted to shutter within the next 18 months.
  PLUS 1 for the ubiquitous “All Hedge Funds Are About to Die!” doomsday predictions like this.
• “I can’t believe she’s considering Krakow, that’s a bucket shop” – Axe discussing Wendy visiting a rival fund.
  PLUS 1
• A hedge fund mom getting a school employee she didn’t like canned? Lara Axelrod continues to be a believable hedge fund wife.
  PLUS 1
• At an event for a retiring head of criminal investigations, the assistant US attorneys savor the prospect having his job- not for some honorable duty to society, but for the lucrative private sector exit opportunities that would await.
  PLUS 1
• Bryan Connerty says he orders drinks two at a time at banquets and because of how slow it can be getting a refill. Pro move.
  PLUS 1
• During an idea session, one analyst pitches Axe Capital should just buy an algorithm from a buddy of his from Wharton, another pitches going to all cash to weather the incoming storm. Just perfect.
  PLUS 1

• Of course Wags would be obsessed with getting onto Raya, the high end Tinder for the rich and famous.
  PLUS 1
• Wags has the TV on Bloomberg and they’re covering negative yields on the German 10 yr.
  PLUS 1 (would have been PLUS 2 if it were Joe Weisenthal covering it)
• When Chuck calls now Judge DeGiulio, he is greeted with a Hamilton reference. Also of course Rhoades hasn’t seen it yet (and Axe probably has).
  PLUS 1
• Sitting in his dank, miserable office, we see a typical scene with public servant Oliver Dake having shitty grocery store sushi for lunch. Hell, it’s probably from the Duane Reade on Wall Street.
  PLUS 1

TOTAL POINTS FOR REAL: PLUS 18

FAKER THAN A WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK CHESS HUSTLER CAUGHT CHEATING AND HANDS NOT BEING THROWN

• What train did special investigator Oliver Dake take in from DC? The Acela? He would be getting out at Penn Station, not Grand Central.
  MINUS 1

(UPDATE: We’d like to apologize for our oversight here. As you can see, Billions co-creator Brian Koppelman noted on Twitter that this scene was INDEED filmed at Penn Station. LOCK US UP!)

While waiting outside for Axe Capital to reopen, some junior employee at Axe says “I heard Axe kinda went nuts”… No junior employee would be stupid enough to say something like that in front of everyone at the firm!
MINUS 1

Has anyone ever heard of a chief of staff at a hedge fund?
MINUS 1

• Todd Krakow, fund manager at Krakow Capital, says to Wendy “You have an amazing insight into the way we hedgies think”. Hedge fund people don’t like to be called hedgies.
  MINUS 1
• At Axe Capital, Maffey says to his intern “Thanks for working though lunch”… as opposed to? Everyone always has lunch at their desk while working, ESPECIALLY the interns.
  MINUS 2
• More importantly, how in the HELL is an intern having to explain how a zero cost collar/ options trading works to one of Axe’s seasoned traders??
  MINUS 5
• Wags seriously brings in the fund’s guy responsible for running all their IT and maintaining their servers to try and hack into a dating website? Not even Wags is that fucking crazy.
  MINUS 1
• Would the Attorney General personally call Rhoades to tell him to drop by DC on Thursday?
  MINUS 1

TOTAL POINTS FOR FAKE: MINUS 12

THE ‘BILLIONS’ REALITY INDEX OVERALL SCORE: PLUS 6

So! A very solid outing ending in positive territory for the first episode of Season 2. Ending on a nailbiter with the outing of Bryan as being the snitch inside the US attorney’s office, and Chuck Rhoades getting served like Gawker, the first episode has us bullish on what the second season of Billions is bringing to the table. For now, we’re giving this season a buy rating. Stick with us when we recap Episode 2 next week and see if Billions can keep the rational exuberance going.

Comfortably Smug is a government relations professional with a focus on the financial services industry. He can be found on Twitter with his musings on all things finance and politics at @ComfortablySmug

Watch the "Risk Management" episode of Billions on Showtime Anytime