John Oliver Calls “Turbo Bullsh*t” on Trump’s Comey Explanation

On Sunday evening, John Oliver kicked off Last Week Tonight in a familiar manner: with “President Trump – two words that continue to sound revolting together, like ‘viscous discharge’ or ‘moist stockings’”. Oliver proceeded to dive into the firing of FBI director James Comey, a shocking decision that confused even Trump’s most loyal supporters and Comey himself. Oliver then compared Trump’s termination letter to a bizarre breakup text, and explored the multitude of possibilities surrounding this strange turn of events – and Trump’s incredibly stupid response to the whole thing. Oliver couldn’t help but balk at the situation: “Do you remember normal weeks? Cause I don’t. I don’t remember what they felt like.” Oliver urged Congress to hold Trump accountable, and slammed Paul Ryan for having no backbone in nearly every situation involving the president. After emphasizing the importance of checks and balances, Oliver also caught us up on the New Zealand/Eminem scandal and dragged Prime Minister Bill English for challenging him and implying that Oliver wasn’t funny.

The main story of the evening – kidney dialysis – seemed a little out of place, but Oliver urged viewers to stay on board. He began by explaining the exhausting process and the kidney disease epidemic in the United States. Because getting a transplant is so hard, dialysis is many individuals’ only option. The history of dialysis is a complicated one; when it first began, access to the machines were so limited that a panel decided who lived and died, but Richard Nixon later signed a bill into law that promised that the government would pay for dialysis for anyone who needed it. At that time, a relatively small number of patients required dialysis, but that number has increased to almost 500,000 today, and 70% of outpatient dialysis clinics in the U.S. are owned by two large for-profit companies: Fresenius Medical Care and DaVita.

DaVita was the main focus of Oliver’s dialysis investigation, with particular attention paid to the company’s eccentric CEO, Kent Thiry. Thiry’s obsession with The Man in the Iron Mask – down to quoting it at the end of giant company meetings – is bizarre and seemingly unfounded, but it has worked for shareholders, and the company continues to turn a massive profit. Patients, however, often do not see this same success. The policies – including not requiring to have a doctor on the premises – do not seem to have the patients’ best interest at heart. One described how techs would approach her and tell her that her session was over because they were behind schedule, and she wondered if she had received all the treatment she needed for the day.

One former DaVita nurse revealed that he had indeed been pressured to move from patient to patient as quickly as possible, and even forgone proper disinfecting techniques in favor of speed. Oliver then railed into DaVita for their misleading star ratings, as their clinic profiles clearly demonstrated a slew of issues, and Thiry has openly discussed that he values his teammates more than the patients – and runs his company the same way he would a chain of Taco Bells. Oliver couldn’t help but lament how sad it was that the people receiving this treatment didn’t even necessarily have a better shot at living longer – and weren’t even being given information about the cheaper, more successful option of a kidney transplant upfront.

Four staffers from Last Week Tonight attended DaVita “Kidney Smart” classes in New York, a session that DaVita claims informs pre-dialysis patients of all their options – but Oliver’s staff noticed immediately how little emphasis was placed on transplants. One DaVita employee claimed that many patients refused transplants because they preferred the “family” they had created at these clinics, and Oliver was floored by this. The host emphasized that DaVita was definitely not the only company guilty of these transgressions – they were just the biggest corporation.

Per usual, the show ended with a call to action from Oliver – he suggested that “truly amazing” people could donate one of their kidneys by going to www.giveandlive.us, and the rest of us “complete assholes” should be organ donors in death. The Hostus Mostus then wrapped things up by apologizing to Taco Bell for Thiry’s rude comparison in the form of a hilarious retaliatory commercial: “hey, for once, we’re the good guys here!”