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Former pop- and -reality star Jessica Simpson showed up on Ellen today, and for the second time in two weeks, we’re at a loss for words. The video clip says “Jessica Simpson on Family, Mermaids, Fashion & Music,” but honestly, the subject of this conversation is going to remain one of life’s enduring mysteries.
Thanks to Buzzfeed’s Jarett Wieselman for pointing the way to this bizarre 5-minute interview where Jessica talks about renting some mermaids to play with her children, gets lost in the dense foliage of defining the term “manhandle,” tries valiantly to count to seven when asked how long she’s been married, and then accidentally alludes to a long-term relationship with a woman. Ellen’s reaction speaks for us all:
While she hasn’t been a mainstream presence for a while, Jessica Simpson became a kind of national sweetheart after her brief window of pop success, followed by MTV’s reality show Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica. The dynamic was very traditional-sitcom, with Nick as the put-upon (yet hunky) husband and Jessica as his ditzy bride. “Ditzy” being the operative word, as Jessica worked the dumb-blonde stereotype to its furthest ends.
Her reality career now ended, but that’s when Simpson started making real money, with a billion-dollar clothing empire. How much is her clothing line worth? “Well we know you’re not good with numbers,” Ellen quipped, “because you don’t even know how long you’ve been married.” And yet somehow she’s got a billion-dollar business! “Isn’t that awesome,” Jessica giggled. “It can happen for anybody!”
It’s honestly so good to have you back, Jess.
