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The Expanse

I know I’m behind (a few years), but I’m really digging Syfy’s banner science fiction drama, The Expanse.

The series has the grittiness of Battlestar Galactica mixed with a cool modern noir vibe. Add to the mix a star-studded cast and a brisk political thriller, and you’ve got a highly addictive show. The Expanse is literally the best-paced drama I’ve seen in years. There are no filler scenes. Everything is tense, important, or high stakes fun. The hour-long episodes fly by.

That said, as I’ve been making my way through the first season on Prime Video, I do find that I have a lot of questions. No, not about what Julie Mao was up to or who is behind the conspiracy to spark an interplanetary war between Earth, Mars, and the Belt. I’m cool with letting the mystery breathe, okay? What has been perplexing me is…well, ancillary stuff. I have questions about the aesthetics of the world, the casting of the show, and the future career prospects of the Black Keys.

Before you tell me, I should read the books because they will answer all my questions, let me assure you I probably will. I am one of those annoying nerds who likes to go back to the source material and then crow about what’s different onscreen. However, for now, I’m just letting Season One of The Expanse wash over me like the waves of water that are not on Mars or Ceres. Let me have this. Let me enjoy this, guys. Let me ponder the “deeper” mysteries of The Expanse.

Here are seven pressing questions I have about my new favorite show, The Expanse:

Has Anyone Ever Worn A Fedora Better Than Thomas Jane?

Thomas Jane, aka actor Tom Jane from Arrested Development, plays Joe Miller, a “Belter” detective on Ceres. That means he was born in the cold vacuum of space and is therefore naturally cool. How cool is he? Well, watch him rock this fedora like it’s actually a hip accessory. Like, no offense, but fedoras are played out — well, all of them except this one. Thomas Jane is able to bring so much old school noir chic to his part that he has me swooning over a space fedora. So, yeah, I have to ask if anyone has made a fedora look this good before?

(As a follow up, this is a fedora, right? Hats for men are not my forte. I just know this looks like a fedora.)

What Do We Call This Hairstyle?

the-expanse-1 — Photo: Everett Collection

What’s lurking under Thomas Jane’s hot to trot space hat? THIS HAIRSTYLE. I don’t know what to call it. Half of his hair is long enough to flop around in the breeze and the other half is shorn close to the scalp. It’s like a sideways mullet, but I can’t tell which half of his head is partying and which is clocking time at work. So what do we call this hairstyle? The moppet? The halflet? The Tom Jane?

Why Is Jared Harris Here And Why Is He Speaking Space Creole?

Jared Harris is my all-time favorite actor who is coincidentally also Richard Harris’s son and Rex Harrison’s stepson. I love him. I loved him on Mad Men. I loved him coughing up blood on The Crown. He’s just a great actor and his presence always adds a lot to whatever project he’s in.

So, when he popped up in a recurring role on The Expanse, I was immediately like, “WHOA, HOW DID THEY GET JARED EFFING HARRIS?” And then that question was immediately put on the back burner because Jared Harris’s character, Anderson Dawes, speaks in a crazy made up accent that I can only describe as “space creole.” There’s some South African twangs in there (which is a choice), but it’s space creole. One of my co-workers says that Harris just likes doing weird accents as a rule, but I don’t remember him playing King George VI with a Brazilian accent on The Crown. How did this happen? I love it, but how?

Why Is Jonathan Banks Crying - Barefoot - In A Mound Of Dirt?

Better Call Saul actor Jonathan Banks shows up in the very first episode of The Expanse for one emotionally fraught scene. He plays the unnamed Executive Officer on a doomed mining vessel and he’s unhinged. He waves around a gun, he cries, he walks barefoot in his “room dirt.” I think this moment was meant to illustrate the psychological horrors living in space can inflict, but I don’t know. I just don’t know why Jonathan Banks was crying, barefoot, in a mound of dirt on this show.

By the way, I did tweet something about this very quandary a few weeks ago and someone I don’t know tweeted at me that all would be revealed about this scene. I’m almost done Season One and nothing has been revealed. Twitter is a realm of betrayal.

Do We Really Think The Black Keys Will Be That Big In The Future?

Okay, so I like the Black Keys. I do! However, I think it’s unlikely that “Tighten Up” is a favorite jam of space miners 300 years from now. I feel like Kanye West or David Bowie or — Dare I say it? — the White Stripes have a better chance of cultural relevance in the 24th Century. Just saying! Though maybe I’m wrong. Do we think the Black Keys are going to be a big deal for our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandkids?

How Can I Grow Up To Be Shohreh Aghashloo’s character?

the-expanse-2 — Photo: Everett Collection

Shohreh Aghdashloo is one of those actresses who exudes strength and sophistication. She’s a girl crush no matter what. So it should come as no surprise that she gets to play the most badass character on The Expanse: Chrisjen Avasarala, a major power player at the UN. Chrisjen has the charm of Cleopatra, the scheming mind of Littlefinger, the wardrobe of a Real Housewife, and the perfect strategy to bring anyone down. Oh, and she’s got a cute family. She’s basically winning at life — which makes sense because it’s often said that her character will do whatever it takes to win.

So what I want to know is how I can rejigger my entire life plan so I can grow up to be just like Chrisjen.