Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
Similar to when the NFL season kicks off, or when film festivals start buzzing about potential Oscar films, last Monday was a big day for another group of people: those that watch The Bachelorette. For all three of those groups, it signals the start of a months-long adventure to find out who will be the ultimate winner: at the Super Bowl, the Oscars, and the altar.
Now, many who remain uninvested in each field will roll their eyes and say, “I don’t care about the Patriots,” or, “I like Suicide Squad and that’s all that matters,” and especially, “OMG I do not get why people like The Bachelorette so much, it is garbage.”
I too, do not care about the Patriots (go Giants!), and I did not see Suicide Squad, but I am a recent convert to what is known as Bachelor Nation, and I can offer some insight. I spent years, and a mind-boggling number of seasons, avoiding the ABC reality show because I believed it was dumb and not for me and could not fathom why so many smart, educated people I knew would dedicate two whole hours on a Monday night to something so ridiculous. Well, now I know why. And it’s not just because it pairs so well with wine. But it does.
It’s a way to live vicariously through attractive people.
It’s hard to be mad at hot people, and this show is packed with them. So on the most basic intrinsic level, yeah, it’s nice to watch attractive people on screen. Going a bit deeper than that, and I know how loudly this screams “millennial,” but if given the choice to go out and meet some random dude for a date, or stay at home and live through Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay’s date on TV? I’m choosing the latter! I know, it sounds incredibly anti-social, but hello: sweatpants. The Bachelorette makes viewers feel like they are participating in the dating world: whether they are single and feel like they should be more active, or they are married and are wondering what dating is even like these days. Now, is this show an accurate representation? Oh hell no. But it’s still damn fun. Plus, who doesn’t want to imagine what it’s like to have an entire football team roster show up and fight for your attention and try to impress you. We all want that.
It’s a way to learn about yourself.
Even deeper than just drooling over hot people, The Bachelorette affords viewers an opportunity to learn about themselves. Instead of having to meet someone like Lucas “Whaboom” in public, we can happily turn down the volume as he’s revving up, instead of having our eardrums blown out by his yelling and our respect shattered on the floor in front of innocent bystanders. We know on a very real level that Lucas is not for us. He’s not our soul mate and we’re really hoping he’s not Rachel’s either.
As we observe this gorgeous lawyer get to know the handsome gents, we too take notes on what we look for or don’t in a partner. How do we feel about someone who has a kid? Is it necessary our mate be close to their family? Would we put up with a guy we were dating being a petty bitch, as so many of these bros quickly become on the show? There’s a lot to fantasize about, but also to seriously consider when it comes to our own search for love.
This season has introduced the first black Bachelorette, so race remains an unavoidable topic. Bachelorette viewers across the country have wondered how many skin tones show up in their dating past and future, a necessary and important conversation to be had, that might not have taken place for many people without the aid of this show.
And on the most frivolous of terms, this show also provides ideas for vacation locales, hot and cold, adventurous and lazy. So you might just tune in for travel tips, but hey, that’s still something!
It’s a bonding exercise.
Whether you watch each and every Monday with a group of pals (plus wine), you’re in a fantasy league (yes those exist), or you just talk about it at work or at the grocery store or at the airport, being a Bachelorette viewer is a shorthand that unites strangers and best friends alike in mere moments. It’s a way to talk with friends without having to get into your own boring or bummer life events. Friendships are formed over tweets and unlikely public places over a spirited discussion of the show’s suitors. Instead of using the weather or latest world tragedy as small talk, The Bachelorette provides a fun way to break the ice. It might seem silly, but I sat through a 45 minute professional business meeting last year that erupted into outdoor voices in the last 10 minutes as the entire group debated the husband potential of remaining contestants on the show. It was wild.
It’s a way to have drama without really having drama.
For most of us, if we’re lucky, our lives are pretty boring. There might be the occasional issue with family, friends, relationships, money or work, but ultimately, days are pretty standard. What The Bachelorette does is get our adrenaline pumping just a little bit. Fans of boxing might like to watch the sport as a way to enjoy it, while not leaving with an eye swollen shut, Bachelorette viewers like to watch drama from breaking hearts to bitch fights without actually having to be included in it. We don’t want to be in arguments or end a relationship, those are yucky feelings. Yet watching it happen on screen still provides this rush of justice that can be just a little bit addicting. Plus, unlike other reality shows such as Real Housewives, which simply depends on the squabbles between the women, at least a show like The Bachelorette has a point and competition element. These dudes are trying to WIN, so there’s a reason for the tension.
It’s a goddamn escape.
This might be the first and foremost point of The Bachelorette. It is a guaranteed two hours of viewing that easily shuts down those accountant, lawyer, and doctor brains. Even the smartest people on the planet need a break from their own minds. The Bachelorette provides that. You can zone out, think about things that ultimately don’t matter, and have a bit of enjoyment in the process. Even those with tastes for “prestige TV” need a break from the latest true crime documentary or witty sitcom or heavy drama.
The Bachelorette is the kind of show you can look at your phone during, and many do. On Monday nights, Twitter becomes a place not just for sharing the latest doom-inducing news, but facts about how hot Blake K. is and if that guy who did the Urkel impression out of the limo should stay.
It might not sound like it, but there is in fact dumber programming on TV. The Bachelorette has achieved the perfect amount of mind-numbing while remaining easy to become invested in.
It’s a reminder that love exists.
Yes, I felt that eye roll from here, but it’s true. The reality show should be taken with not just a grain but a whole handful of salt. There is much that is produced and staged about this show, clearly. And the Lifetime drama UnREAL has opened our eyes to even more of that. But due to, or despite, all the lights, cameras and hoopla, this show somehow gives us a reason to believe that two strangers can form a connection, lifetime or not. Probably not, if you look at the stats on lasting relationships from this show. But there’s still something nice and charming about watching two people get to know each other, can we all agree on that?
I’m not saying you have to watch The Bachelorette if you don’t want to. I fully get it, and agree that it is not for everyone. But as a recent convert, who can see the benefits to watching this show, I urge you to try it once with an open mind, at least. I hope this makes sense as to why so many people you know are not only watching it, but tweeting about it and fully buying into it. Let them have love… and the wine too. Bachelorette viewers need the wine.
