This List Of Hot ‘Mad Men’ Dudes Might Make You Angry

Actor: James Wolk
Seasons: 6, 7 (guest)

Okay, we’re off to a fine start here, because Bob Benson–one of the show’s few prominent gays–is 100% on your list of hottest Mad Men dudes too. Look at him. Of course he is. James Wolk’s well-dressed grifter debuted under mysterious circumstances at the start of Season Six, but there was one thing that wasn’t mysterious: Bob Benson’s appeal, honey! That “aw shucks” smile and eager-to-please attitude may have been part of Bob’s long con, and consider me conned. I was very invested in Bob’s mystery in Season Six, because it meant more screentime for James Wolk. James Wolk…and James Wolk’s legs.

Those thighs are powerful enough to draw attention away from John Slattery and Christina Hendricks! That is the appeal of Bob Benson, and there is no way you disagree with me.

Actor: Jared Harris
Seasons: 3-5

To paraphrase American poets ZZ Top, “This gay’s crazy bought a sharp-dressed man.” For the three seasons before his I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it demise, Lane Pryce was the show’s resident stuffy Brit, a worrisome nerd always concerned with the numbers. At least that’s what you, person who probably doesn’t have Lane Pryce in your top five, took away from Jared Harris’ dark yet delightful performance. Need I point out that Lane Pryce had a bad boy in him, under that smart-as-hell waistcoat and tweed jacket (swoon). Brain of an accountant, heart of a boxer! You have to admit that there is nothing hotter than punching out Pete Campbell–which Lane Pryce did, y’all.

“Consider that my last piece of advice” indeed.

Actor: Michael Gladis
Seasons: 1-3, 5 (guest)

Just look at him. Paul Kinsey is so pleased with himself, it’s hard to not to agree with him. He is handsome, he is smart, he is pulling off that neckerchief. While some Mad Men fans may have been glad when Kinsey was treated as collateral damage during Season 3’s daring escape from Sterling Cooper, I was devastated. Maybe I related to him too much as a kind of Ghost of Career Future, since Kinsey was a failed and/or hack screenwriter with a self righteous streak. I know I was sad to see Kinsey go because dude’s got a look and dude knows how to use it. While the other mad men were satisfied with an ad man’s uniform of a gray suit and hat, Paul Kinsey relished those flourishes. Cardigans, a pipe, a beard, jaunty neckwear–Kinsey made them all look good. He’s sexy and he knows it, and that’s sexy.

Actor: Jay R. Ferguson
Seasons: 4-7

The facial hair Mad Men lost when it left Kinsey behind, it more than made up for when Stan Rizzo ditched his clean-shaven jock look and became a hella hirsute proto-hippie. Seriously, polo-wearing, Brylcreem’d out meathead Stan? Nay. Bushy-bearded, bead-wearing, cynical goofball Stan? Yay all day. Whether or not the full beard is your thing (definitely not a problem for me), you know in your heart that Stan is unquestionably the best dude in all of Mad Men. With the possible exception of tormented sweetheart Lane, Stan is the only guy on this list that would make for a healthy beau. He’s grumpy and prone to macho posturing, sure, but he’s also honest and smart and possesses the confidence to sport a leather fringe jacket in an office filled with scowling suited fuddy duddies. And there’s also the pants.

Stan wears the hell out of some tight ’60s pants. But truly the best evidence that Stan is unequivocally Mad Men’s best dude is that he falls for Peggy Olson, a woman that is no doubt smarter and braver and tougher than he is. I love Stan Rizzo, you love Stan Rizzo.

Actor: Rich Sommer
Seasons: 1-7

I guess nice guys like Stan finish second on this list, because here’s Mad Men’s undisputed worst dude, Harry Crane. Listen, I warned y’all up top that this was gonna be a journey. You’re probably angry that I put a slimy, power-hungry loser like Harry Crane at the top of this list. I’ll point out that all of Harry Crane’s actions (not hiring Joan for the position she was crazy qualified for, cheating on his wife, assuming Megan was going to sleep him him to get an audition, trying to pay hookers with travelers checks, and just general doofery) are on the level Don Draper or Roger Sterling. Harry just suffered the misfortune of not being his show’s main protagonist or being as conventionally attractive as all his equally skeevy co-workers. So putting his character’s character aside, as I’d no doubt do if Don “habitual liar and manipulator” Draper or Roger “adultery is super fun” Sterling were on this list, let’s talk about the hotness of Harry Crane.

Dude’s hot. Rich Sommer is hot. Mad Men ran Harry Crane through a wringer of intense ’60s fashion, and he rocked them all. It takes a confident, handsome man to make everything from bowties and short-sleeved button downs to heavy coats and wildly colored menswear work–and Rich Sommer made it work.

Imagine if Harry Crane wasn’t a shiver-inducing leech. Imagine if he was as nice a guy as Rich Sommer projects. Y’all would love him. His smile, his jovial nature, the way he wears the hell out of a mustard sport coat–if he had Roger’s snappy one-liners and respected women like Stan, he would be a fan favorite. Not all hot guys look like Jon Hamm; sometimes, a lot of the time if you’re me, they look like Rich Sommer. They look like Harry Crane, a big guy with great hair and dimples for days.

And just remember, your #1 hottest Mad Man was definitely #6 on this list. Definitely.

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