Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
Stephen Colbert basked in the government’s failure to move forward with an Obamacare alternative on Tuesday, declaring so-called Trumpcare “deader than the people that would have been dead if Trumpcare passed.”
The Late Show host began his monologue with word that the GOP’s health care plan “was pronounced dead of terminal sucking,” mocking the likes of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan for failing to repeal and replace Obamacare when “Republicans control only all three branches of government.”
“Republicans said one thing for the last four elections,” Colbert said, before queuing up a series of soundbites featuring McConnell, Ryan and Sen. John McCain promising to get rid of the health care policy implemented by the last administration. “It was your one job. It’s your tag line. It’s your motto. It’s Paul Ryan’s tramp stamp. … And it wasn’t just the House of Representatives and the Senate, it was also our Chucklehead in Chief” Donald Trump, who promised throughout his candidacy to repeal and replace Obamacare on Day 1.
“Don’t worry, the Republicans have a great back-up plan,” Colbert insisted, referring to McConnell’s already failed initiative to repeal, but not replace Obamacare. “You know, just take it away and don’t fix it — like when your car gets a flat tire, you remove the tire, then cut the brake cables and push the car into a crowd of uninsured old people.
“This is a good time to remind you that when they knew [former president] Barack Obama would veto it, the GOP voted more than 60 times to repeal Obamacare, but now that they can actually do it, they don’t have the balls. All of those times they voted, they must have been yanking their own lever,” Colbert continued, forcing network censors to blur out a certain hand motion. “Now when they have a Republican president, they can’t get their vote up.”
