‘Game of Thrones’ Recap Season 7, Episode 5: The End Of The World As We Snow It

“Here we all are, at the edge of the world, at the same moment, heading in the same direction, for the same reason.”

That quote from oft-resurrected eye-patch hobo Beric Dondarrion from the end of last night’s Game of Thrones was directed at those assembled at The Wall, preparing to set out into the great, frosty unknown. But he might as well have been talking to us, all of us, the people who have been watching HBO’s bloodsoaked tale of incest and dragons since season one. Because this episode—more so than any chapter that has ever come before it—felt like a supercharged speedboat headed toward a definite finale, not an end but capital letter The End. Storylines are colliding, long-debated theories are becoming fact, and here we all are, at the edge of the world, staring across a mere ten episodes into a world without Game of Thrones, in which we will all have to get mad online about, like, Ray Donovan. Chilling, I know.

But before all that—and before Jon Snow united the seven more elegantly than Warner Brothers ever could—we got “Eastwatch,” an episode that started with Jaime Lannister riding a submarine made of plot armor across the bottom of a river and then somehow got more fan-service-y from there. Of course, we must begin at The Citadel, where Gilly casually confirmed something that fans of this world have been debating since roughly 1992.

“Maynard says here,” Gilly reads, “that he issued an annulment for a prince Ragger [sic] and remarried him to someone else at the same time, in a secret ceremony in Dorne.”

Of course, what Sam is too busy being grumpy about his unpaid internship to notice is that sitting on the dusty shelves of Oldtown is proof that Rhaegar Targaryen—Daenerys’ brother—legally separated from Elia Martell and just-as-legally married Lyanna Stark. This means that the baby who followed—a little curly-haired boy named Jon born with a mopey-ass scowl on his face—is not a bastard, but the legitimate child of Houses Stark and Targaryen.

Thanks to Westeros’ endlessly convoluted laws of succession, Jon’s legitimacy grants him a much firmer claim to the Iron Throne than Daenerys. Of course, she doesn’t know this—not yet—but the look she gives Jon while he tenderly interacts with Drogon hinted that she is ready to keep that Targaryen line pure right then and there whether she knows it or not.

Basically, at this point the only person who could come even close to challenging Jon’s claim to the throne—or even the claim of Jon and Dany bonded in uncomfortably sexy incestual matrimony—would be a random descendant of former king Robert Baratheon. Luckily, there’s none of them just lying arou–

So, long-lost character turned boat-rowing internet meme Gendry Baratheon has returned, having hidden under the shadow of the Red Keep since season 4. He may have taken on his mother’s sweaty, grime-filled Flea Bottom surroundings, but he inherited his father’s penchant for war hammer badassery; by all accounts, Gendry is everything Robert was in his prime, before wine and prostitutes turned him into a literal Burger King.

Gendry’s reemergence is intriguing for several reasons. For one, Daenerys initially distrusted Jon because his father merely helped along Robert’s Rebellion. Gendry’s father caved in Rhaegar Targaryen’s chest with a hammer, and then basically ordered Gregor Clegane to eat Daenerys’ immediate family. Not literally eat, but not not literally, either. But Daenerys doesn’t have much time to learn Gendry’s family lineage, because Jon immediately whisks him north, to help in the totally-not-a-suicide-mission beyond the wall. But that, in itself, is intriguing; these two are basically Ned and Robert 2.0—not to mention a secret Targaryen and bastard Baratheon, respectively—working together to rid the world of ice, not fire.

The only, only situation that could rival that in terms of historical significance is if the person sitting on the Iron Throne right now was suddenly carrying an illegitimate chi—

So, Cersei Lannister is allegedly pregnant once again, and claims that Jaime is the father. “People won’t like that,” Jaime responds, and in almost any other situation that would seem like an understatement. But the people of King’s Landing have a lot to worry about right now, like the fact that the Lannisters—scattered, frightened, and largely without solid allies—stand next to no chance against Daenerys’ three, full-grown dragons. Which might explain why Cersei is uncharacteristically open to a parlay with Tyrion.
Truthfully, I wish the underground face-to-face between Tyrion and Jaime felt like it meant more, even in an episode as rushed as “Eastwatch.” But Tyrion’s impassioned, desperate attempt to explain the murder of Tywin Lannister did give Peter Dinklage an opportunity to truly flex his dramatic muscles for the first time since, hell…season 4? And it did set up the most tantalizing of opportunities, the first, undoubtedly explosive meeting between Cersei Lannister and Daenerys Targaryen.

But first, Jon needs to hog-tie a wight, which means he needs to leave Sansa in charge of Winterfell just a little longer, much to the annoyance of the northern lords. Luckily, no one is creeping around in the shadows, using that tension to fuel his own devious intentio—

So, after several episodes spent trying to sniff Sansa’s hair without anyone noticing, Petyr Baelish is back on his Littlefinger bullshit. If couldn’t make out the text of the note Littlefinger left for Arya to find, here’s what the scroll said in Game Of Thrones:

Robb, I write to you with a heavy heart. Our good king Robert is dead, killed from wounds he took in a boar hunt. Father has been charged with treason. He conspired with Robert’s brothers against my beloved Joffrey and tried to steal his throne. The Lannisters are treating me very well and provide me with every comfort. I beg you: come to King’s Landing, swear fealty to King Joffrey and prevent any strife between the great houses of Lannister and Stark.

Your faithful sister, Sansa.

Sansa did, in fact, write this letter, back in season one, but under the watchful, threatening eye of Cersei Lannister. But Arya doesn’t know this; the stab-happiest of the Stark siblings simply sees a potentially compromised Sansa, siding with name numero uno on her Kill List. “Eastwatch” saw a number of unexpected reunions—Jorah Mormont and Daenerys, Gendry and Davos, Tyrion and Jaime–but this was one we probably should have seen coming: Littlefinger getting back together with his uncanny ability to fuck with the Stark family without lifting a single, you know…finger.

Vinnie Mancuso writes about TV for a living, somehow, for Decider, The A.V. Club, Collider, and the Observer. You can also find his pop culture opinions on Twitter (@VinnieMancuso1) or being shouted out a Jersey City window between 4 and 6 a.m.

Watch the "Eastwatch" episode of Game Of Thrones on HBO Go