I Like ‘SMILF’ A Lot, But I Am Worried About How Dirty Her Vibrator Is

SMILF is that show that everyone else on Decider seemed to get into way before me, and I’m so angry to be playing catch up. The show is sweet, sincere, and incredibly open about the struggles of being a single mother trying to overcome the burdens of the lower middle class. Frankie Shaw‘s Bridgette Bird is a sparkling firecracker of a heroine. She attracts your eye and tugs at your heart, even as she flickers in and out. So, SMILF is great, but something happens in the very first episode that has just about driven me crazy.

You see, Bridgette repeatedly finds solace in a sex toy. It’s a tiny purple vibrator that sits by her bed. There’s nothing untoward about any of that in my mind. I don’t consider myself to be a prude, but I will admit to being a somewhat prissy, altogether anxiety-driven, mess. Which is why I keep worrying about how dirty Bridgette’s vibrator is.

You see, she licks it to lubricate it, uses it, and then tosses it in a drawer. And then, it seems she repeats the process. 

Bridgette, you need to clean your damn vibrator.

No, but seriously, I spent a good portion of a subway commute trying to remember if we did ever see her clean it. I asked friends who were caught up on the season if the bacteria on her sex toy is ever addressed. Heck, I pitched this story! THIS SEEMINGLY SMALL, INSIGNIFICANT DETAIL CONCERNS ME A GREAT DEAL.

I realize that I’m expecting SMILF to show me something I should be able to infer. Earlier this year, Insecure came under scrutiny when fans questioned why the characters seemed to eschew condoms in sex scenes. What followed was an actual discussion about how the show’s writers assumed condom-use was implied, and showrunner Issa Rae even tweeted, “We tend to place condoms in the backgrounds of scenes or imply them. But we hear you guys and will do better next season.” So maybe I should just assume that Bridgette is regularly cleaning her vibrator. But SMILF is also so honest, and so happy to offer up the details of Bridgette’s life, that it seems like the show wants us to see the “raw” way in which its heroine tackles masturbation. Which includes…not…washing it?

To SMILF‘s credit, I can tell that the reason I’m so wrapped up in this is because I care about Bridgette so much. I grew up in a lower-middle class Irish-Catholic family and I lived on the edges of Boston in my young adult life so Bridgette reminds me of women in my family and the women who have been my best friends. I’ve known savagely beautiful tomboys like Bridgette. They love being called scrappy because labels like that cover up just how soft they are inside. So my focus on this tiny detail is rooted in the fact that every other part of SMILF is precise in how it captures this specific kind of woman — and those were the women who taught me how to take care of my sex toys. In my head, I can hear them screaming at the TV during those scenes, too. So, no, it’s not a class thing. People who struggle financially aren’t inherently dirty, okay?

In conclusion, I know this is an absurd quibble to have with an otherwise perfect show, but I just don’t want Bridgette to get an infection from her vibrator, okay? I like her and I think she’s got enough issues to deal with already.

Where to Stream SMILF