Who Is Phil On ‘Grace & Frankie’?

Grace and Frankie may be elderly divorcees, but they’ve never let either of those things keep them from having healthy love lives. Netflix’s Grace and Frankie regularly proves that there is still love to be had after divorce and after the age of 70, with Craig T. Nelson, Ernie Hudson, and Peter Gallagher all enjoying arcs as a BF of either G or F. More than a few dudes have walked through the doors of Grace (Jane Fonda) and Frankie’s (Lily Tomlin) beach house over the show’s four seasons. That, coupled with the fact that a whole year passes in-between seasons, can make keeping who’s who straight.

That’s why one of the big reveals of Season 4 might just fly over your head if you haven’t been keeping Grace and Frankie in rotation in-between seasons. During episode 7, “The Landline,” Grace’s ex-husband Robert (Martin Sheen) casually mentions that Phil Milstein has died. The news sends Grace into a low-key emotional tailspin, as she tries to downplay her inner turmoil to keep up appearances. Robert offers some context, saying that he was their contractor years ago, but at this point what viewers really need is a Pop-Up Video style headshot of who Phil was. It’s been years! There are so many shows on TV! It’s hard to remember!

So who was Phil? And why was Grace so shook up about his death? If you keep watching Season 4, you’ll get more answers in the following episodes, but if you’re stuck on episode 7 and want some context, here’s a reminder:

He’s Sam Elliott! Grace and Frankie killed Sam Elliott offscreen!

Sam Elliott played Phil Milstein for four episodes in Season 2, which arrived back in 2016. Basically, what Grace tells Robert is more or less what happened in that storyline: Grace reconnected with Phil, the man she desperately wanted to cheat on Robert with way back in the day (but didn’t!). In the Season 2 episode “The Road Trip,” Frankie used her amateur internet sleuthing skills to track down a Phil Milstein for Grace. Grace was freaked out by this, saying that her timing with Phil was off 15 years ago and she’s too nervous to see him face-to-face again. But Frankie, of course, talks her into it and the two set off on a road trip.

Grace reconnects with Phil and tries to pick up where they left off, but there was one big hurdle: Phil was still married. The “loophole,” which the episode is named after, is that she is ill and not getting any better. Her memory is gone, and Phil needs companionship. But Grace just can’t do that to Phil’s wife, and she leaves him, breaking up the relationship she’d been thinking about for the past 15 years.

Phil’s death shocks Grace in Season 4, and it leads to even worse trouble when Grace and Frankie’s home needs drastic repairs made. SPOILER ALERT if you’re still at the halfway point of G&F Season 4, BTW. Instead of calling contractor Phil like she would have, she brings in a rando who puts the CON in contractor by winning Grace’s trust by pretending to have known Phil. When Grace and Frankie get back home after letting this con man contractor do his thing, they find that all of their pipes have been stolen, ripped out of the walls. The beach house is even more of a wreck and almost unlivable!

Who knows what would have happened if Grace and Frankie brought Sam Elliott back for more in Season 4? Would he have competed with Peter Gallagher’s Nick for Grace’s affection? Would he have been able to repair their home, thus avoiding the dire situation the season concludes on? Sadly, we’ll never know because Phil–the one that got away–is no longer with us.

Where to stream Grace and Frankie