Your Guide To The “Celebrities” Of ‘Celebrity Big Brother’

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Celebrity Big Brother

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Tonight at 8pm ET on CBS, America finally catches up to the rest of the world. After years and years’ worth of celebrity seasons of the reality competition Big Brother have aired in places like the UK and Australia, the U.S. is finally getting around to its own season of Celebrity Big Brother. Host Julie Chen will be hosting a two-week sprint of the series, designed to last through the run of the Winter Olympics across the dial on NBC, starting tonight. So which famous celebs will be gracing the Big Brother house with their beaming star power? Clearly, Meryl Streep will be competing with Aaron Rodgers for Head of Household, while Tom Hanks and Kristen Bell campaign for votes in this week’s eviction vote. …Right?

Haha, of course not! Celebrity reality shows are a kind of D-list realm all to themselves, where once-hot careers go to safely cool. They are the windowsill of modern American celebrity. If you check out the cast members for the inaugural American season of Celebrity Big Brother, you’ll notice a lot of people who have previously been on celebrity seasons of The Apprentice or Dancing With the Stars. They’re members of the celebrity reality-TV economy, and they’re always ready to suit up. Sometimes that’s a good thing — if there’s one compliment you can pay a Real Housewife, it’s that they always show up ready to make good TV. But the difference between a show like Celebrity Big Brother and, say, VH1’s Scared Famous is that CBS wants to attract a broad American audience, so they need to have broadly recognizable names, and since almost all entertainment these days is niche, broadly-appealing celebrity reality stars are … the ones who we all remember from Dancing with the Stars. VH1 got to populate Scared Famous with VH1 reality celebs, and thus attract that VH1 audience. (Plus they had Alaska from Drag Race, so they win.)

So in the interests of keeping you up to date on all the hottest Winter Olympics counter-programming options, here’s our handy guide to the eleven celebrities (well, “celebrities”) who will face off under the watchful eye of Julie Chen for the Big Brother prize.

Where to stream Celebrity Big Brother