The ‘Fifty Shades’ Movies Are Great – If You Watch Them As Comedies

I am no prude. I have been known to enjoy an erotic thriller from time to time, and I fully acknowledge that movies can be sexy. Unfortunately, the Fifty Shades franchise does not fall into the “sexy” category. (It barely falls into the “movie” category, but that is neither here nor there.) I admit that for years, I turned my nose up at the Fifty Shades movies, books, and fans, but at some point or another, I found myself home alone one weekend, and Fifty Shades of Grey was streaming on HBO at the time. (It is no longer there, but its superior sequel, Fifty Shades Darker, is). So with a bottle of wine and a pizza to myself, I settled in to experience this purportedly steamy movie.

And I laughed… and laughed… and laughed.

I had more fun watching Fifty Shades of Grey than I ever imagined possible. I cackled louder than I had at any broad comedy in recent memory. It was just that funny. I enjoyed Fifty Shades Darker a few months back in similar fashion, spreading out on my couch and gleefully enjoying every minute of it, and just a few weeks ago, did the same in the theater while watching Fifty Shades Freed. The Fifty Shades films are incredible – if you enjoy them as comedies.

I dare you not to laugh after the first time Christian (Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) meet. They perform a scene so devoid of sexual tension, you could cut the lack of tension with a knife, and because their encounter is so steamy (?), she runs out into the rain hyperventilating, as if she REALLY needed to cool off. After having absolutely no sexual chemistry whatsoever with Christian. It’s incredible. This was the moment I knew I was watching a top-of-the-line comedy. The moment I knew I would be snorting and screaming with joyful abandon for the entirety of the film’s runtime.

There are so many scenes that bring a smile to my face when I think of them; “laters, baby” (I genuinely teared up from laughing when I remembered this), the impossible, fully-clothed shower bang that happens RIGHT AFTER a near-death helicopter accident, choreographed thrusts, Anastasia being promoted to a job that she is completely unqualified for and not doing any of the work it requires, you name it. The Fifty Shades franchise is a comedic goldmine, one that has the power to heal old wounds and mend broken friendships. You cannot watch these movies without at least chuckling at one completely serious line of dialogue or plot point. It is not possible.

Hear me out. I understand there are lots of things that are #problematic about these movies. Christian is a bonafide abusive psychopath, Anastasia is one of the most poorly-written women I’ve seen on screen in a hot minute, and all that famous BDSM, well, isn’t really an accurate depiction of BDSM. If you can erase the franchise’s erotic reputation and faux-titillating marketing from your mind, however, I promise there is something in here for you to like. I have had few surprises as pleasant as the laughter I have experienced watching these movies, because there are truly few greater joys in this world than unintentional comedy. Submit to the humor of Fifty Shades. You’ll thank me later.

Where to Stream Fifty Shades of Grey