My First Time… Watching ‘Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone’

I, Lauren Elizabeth Garafano, born May 29th, 1997, have never seen Harry Potter. Yes, you read that correctly. I have spent almost 21 years on this planet without ever seeing any of these films that have grossed over $2.3 billion in worldwide box office receipts.

I really don’t have much of an excuse for not getting into the Harry Potter fandom. Growing up, I was into all things fantastical, devouring books about mermaids and vampires, but never wizards. Harry Potter Weekends just weren’t my thing 一 and it didn’t help that anything containing magic was frowned upon in my Catholic elementary school. Two years ago, I finally took the Pottermore quiz because my friends made me do it (and I’m a sucker for a good quiz) but found out that I was a Slytherin. A chorus of “oohs” filled the room around me as everyone named off my Slytherin-esque qualities (I’m hella resourceful, definitely not evil), but none of this really meant anything to me. I am a Slytherin. Cool. Now what?

But now the entire franchise is on HBO and I have no excuse to avoid the wizarding world any longer. I might as well see what all the fuss is about. And because I know this is exactly what you were waiting for, here’s the play by play of my first time watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

This film is already off to a fun start with this mystical music. Privet Drive is so much spookier than I’d imagined it to be.

Lemme just start by saying that Hagrid riding in on a magical flying motorcycle is totally the content the signed up for when starting this movie.

I know I’m new to the HP fandom, but I’ve always hated how the Dursleys made Harry live in the closet under the staircase. How wasn’t this considered child abuse? And why didn’t anyone try to do anything about it??

So Harry just got his Hogwart’s letter and I’m so proud of him, but can we just take a moment and admire this Dudley Dursley shrine?! No wonder this kid is so spoiled. 

Hagrid telling Harry he’s a wizard is the most wholesome exchange I’ve ever seen. Also this cake looks so delicious I don’t even care that “Happy Birthday” is spelled wrong.

There’s something about this whole scene that really feels ~magical.~ Also someone please tell me how they filmed the actors running through the brick wall!

Side note: While watching this I’ve realized that now I can finally understand all the references I’ve seen around the internet. It feels nice to be included. Also, if I were Harry I’d probably react the same way if someone pointed a wand at me. 

WOO! We made it to Hogwarts! Big things are happening!

Another side note: These actors are all about 30 years old now.

TBH, I never understood why the ghosts were at Hogwarts. How did they even get there to begin with? These 2001 special effects really aren’t great, but for some reason I’m not to upset about it.

JK. I’m upset about it. That…isn’t a human… On the other hand, I LOLed during that flying sequence. It only makes sense that it happened to poor Neville Longbottom.

You tell him, Hermione!!!

Excuse me, but what is that?

I think that Snape is the angstiest character in this entire movie. I mean, look at that hair! Everything about this screams early-2000s-emo-phase.  

I’m not the biggest fan of sports and I don’t think I’m the biggest fan of Quidditch either. But great job, Harry! Go Gryffindor! 

God, I love these special effects.

Harry Potter is the only person at this school who would look only semi-upset after hearing that Voldemort is back.

Ya know, I never was a dog person. 

A minute ago we were playing chess and now Ron is unconscious?! WTF J.K. Rowling!

WHAT. IS. THAT??!!

How is this movie rated PG?! Even watching this as an adult I am mortified. Harry just burnt off his teacher’s face!! 

I can’t believe all of this needed to happen over a crystal. 

Flash forward one week: A teacher died and three young lives were in serious danger, but thank GOD Gryffindor won the House Cup.

What a wild ride that was. I think this is where I finally have to admit that I was wrong to not watch this much, much earlier. All in all, I think the movie was a really good start to such an iconic franchise. In my experience, movies adapted from books never live up to the hype, but I really think that Chris Columbus delivered with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. But thank goodness special effects have improved since 2001.

I fully believe I am changed for the better after watching this film and am ready to enter the magical world I’ve avoided for so long. You can most definitely assume I’ll be binge-watching the rest this weekend.

Watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone on HBO Go