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Weird2018 Academy Awards: Every Best Acting Nominee Naked
By The Thighmaster
@thighmaster
Published
March 2, 2018, 9:00 p.m. ET
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These fine actors have picked up nominations for Best Actor and Best Actress at the 2018 Oscars, but we know what you REALLY want to see from them ... and it's not a speech!
Photo: Everett Collection; Photo Illustration: Dillen Phelps
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NOMINEE: Margot Robbie
FILM: I, Tonya
Once you've seen Margot Robbie's body of work in 2013's The Wolf of Wall Street, it's hard to take her seriously... with clothes on, or little of it, but a funny thing happened on the way to being the latest hot young thang - she had the acting bits to go along with the bo(o)bs!
FILM: I, Tonya
Once you've seen Margot Robbie's body of work in 2013's The Wolf of Wall Street, it's hard to take her seriously... with clothes on, or little of it, but a funny thing happened on the way to being the latest hot young thang - she had the acting bits to go along with the bo(o)bs!
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NOMINEE: Meryl Streep
FILM: The Post
The only thing Meryl hasn't accomplished in her career is being nominated for 21 AVN Awards, but don't think for a second that Ms. Streep hasn't stripped for her art. There are plenty of roles where she's steamed up the screen, but if you're looking for the real deal, she gives everyone a tiny peek in 1983's Silkwood, giving a new definition to the term 'environmentally friendly'!
FILM: The Post
The only thing Meryl hasn't accomplished in her career is being nominated for 21 AVN Awards, but don't think for a second that Ms. Streep hasn't stripped for her art. There are plenty of roles where she's steamed up the screen, but if you're looking for the real deal, she gives everyone a tiny peek in 1983's Silkwood, giving a new definition to the term 'environmentally friendly'!
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NOMINEE: Saoirse Ronan
FILM: Lady Bird
Saoirse Ronan is an actress we feel protective over, as if she was our kid sister. We've seen her grown up, but don't want to see her grow up TOO fast. Luckily she's more interested in showing off her acting skills than her body. Even the one time she showed skin - in 2013's How I Live Now - it was a dream sequence, and employed the use of a body double. Stay true to yourself Saoirse!
FILM: Lady Bird
Saoirse Ronan is an actress we feel protective over, as if she was our kid sister. We've seen her grown up, but don't want to see her grow up TOO fast. Luckily she's more interested in showing off her acting skills than her body. Even the one time she showed skin - in 2013's How I Live Now - it was a dream sequence, and employed the use of a body double. Stay true to yourself Saoirse!
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NOMINEE: Frances McDormand
FILM: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Frances McDormand always looks so angry and disgruntled in films, and she probably is right now knowing that we're writing about any 'hot' scenes from her CV. Well, there's not much to write home about... about her short bits on display in 1993's Short Cuts, but who isn't baken-sold on her pool sexy-ercises with Kate Beckinsale AND Alessandro Nivola in Laurel Canyon?!?
FILM: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Frances McDormand always looks so angry and disgruntled in films, and she probably is right now knowing that we're writing about any 'hot' scenes from her CV. Well, there's not much to write home about... about her short bits on display in 1993's Short Cuts, but who isn't baken-sold on her pool sexy-ercises with Kate Beckinsale AND Alessandro Nivola in Laurel Canyon?!?
Photo: Everett Collection
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NOMINEE: Sally Hawkins
FILM: The Shape Of Water
Long small Sally does not have an issue Hawkin' her wears, showing a tad something in 2002's All or Nothing, being deflowered in 2009's Desert Flower, but got the most blue for her buck (naked) in the 2002 TV mini-Series' Tipping The Velvet, trysting and turning alongside Rachael Stirling! Even if it appears a body double was used, it's ok to make believe!
FILM: The Shape Of Water
Long small Sally does not have an issue Hawkin' her wears, showing a tad something in 2002's All or Nothing, being deflowered in 2009's Desert Flower, but got the most blue for her buck (naked) in the 2002 TV mini-Series' Tipping The Velvet, trysting and turning alongside Rachael Stirling! Even if it appears a body double was used, it's ok to make believe!
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NOMINEE: Denzel Washington
FILM: Roman J. Israel, Esq.
Denzel ever give up the goods? Denz-ELLS YES he did!! Some butt here, some butt there, and in 1991's Ricochet, he was totally packin' heat, and even showed a bit of his bits, too! Now that's some TRUE locker room talk we can all talk about!
FILM: Roman J. Israel, Esq.
Denzel ever give up the goods? Denz-ELLS YES he did!! Some butt here, some butt there, and in 1991's Ricochet, he was totally packin' heat, and even showed a bit of his bits, too! Now that's some TRUE locker room talk we can all talk about!
Photo: Everett Collection
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NOMINEE: Timothée Chalamet
FILM: Call Me By Your Name
Timothée Chalamet is a relative newcomer, and so his onscreen hotness is just beginning to blossom. His hottest work is his current one - going arm and hammer, banging Armie Hammer in Call Me by Your Name, and in one scene in particular - he gives a new meaning/creaming to the phrase "peachy keen." Much fuzz/much buzz!
FILM: Call Me By Your Name
Timothée Chalamet is a relative newcomer, and so his onscreen hotness is just beginning to blossom. His hottest work is his current one - going arm and hammer, banging Armie Hammer in Call Me by Your Name, and in one scene in particular - he gives a new meaning/creaming to the phrase "peachy keen." Much fuzz/much buzz!
Photo: Everett Collection
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NOMINEE: Daniel Day-Lewis
FILM: Phantom Thread
The master craftsman - Daniel Day-Lewis - is also a master ass-man, spreading his buttocks in 1988's Stars and Bars, and again in 1993's In The Name of The Father. However, his best backside work flexed not his backside, but his actual back, as he give it his ALL, riding the high TIDE, and giving his boyfriend something a little EXTRA while OXI CLEANing his clock in 1985's My Beautiful Laundrette! How clean do you feel now?
FILM: Phantom Thread
The master craftsman - Daniel Day-Lewis - is also a master ass-man, spreading his buttocks in 1988's Stars and Bars, and again in 1993's In The Name of The Father. However, his best backside work flexed not his backside, but his actual back, as he give it his ALL, riding the high TIDE, and giving his boyfriend something a little EXTRA while OXI CLEANing his clock in 1985's My Beautiful Laundrette! How clean do you feel now?
Photo: Everett Collection
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NOMINEE: Gary Oldman
FILM: Darkest Hour
Gary Oldman can show any man, young or old, how nudity in film is done. He's a pro's pro, showing flair for showing his derriere, like he just don't care. Perhaps his finest bun-ishment was in 1995's The Scarlet Letter, where Demi Moore plays a peeping Tom Tammy, eyes fixated on Oldman's Puri-un-tan-ned posterior floating upstream, and MEMBER of the clergy cooling off!
FILM: Darkest Hour
Gary Oldman can show any man, young or old, how nudity in film is done. He's a pro's pro, showing flair for showing his derriere, like he just don't care. Perhaps his finest bun-ishment was in 1995's The Scarlet Letter, where Demi Moore plays a peeping Tom Tammy, eyes fixated on Oldman's Puri-un-tan-ned posterior floating upstream, and MEMBER of the clergy cooling off!
Photo: Everett Collection
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NOMINEE: Daniel Kaluuya
FILM: Get Out
Before Daniel Kaluuya was avoiding posh WASPs in films, he was Posh Kenneth on the incredible and incredibly sexy, druggy and rock n' rolly British TV series Skins (which also introduced the world Academy Award nominee Dev Patel). The series' first trailer alone is enough to make any Dare Dorm seem like kindergarten recess time!
FILM: Get Out
Before Daniel Kaluuya was avoiding posh WASPs in films, he was Posh Kenneth on the incredible and incredibly sexy, druggy and rock n' rolly British TV series Skins (which also introduced the world Academy Award nominee Dev Patel). The series' first trailer alone is enough to make any Dare Dorm seem like kindergarten recess time!
Photo: Everett Collection
