Get Over Here And Watch ‘Mortal Kombat’ On Netflix

Have you ever fallen deeply in lust with a gross person? They offend your every belief, defy your dreams, and yet you still want to rush headlong into their arms? That’s how I feel about the film Mortal Kombat. I am obsessed with this movie on a visceral level that betrays my intelligence. It’s a rickety film, full of one-dimensional characters, offensive stereotypes, and ho-hum fight choreography. And yet — and yet! — it brings me a sugar rush of joy when I watch it.

So what is it about Mortal Kombat? What makes it so seductive?

Well, there is some good in this film. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa plays the villain, Shang Tsung, with a grotesque sort of giddiness. He’ll happily kick a sweet-faced boy to death and suck out his soul, to boot! He’s bad — but in a pulpy way! Then, Teen Wolf actor Linden Ashby is fine as Johnny Cage, a Hollywood movie star who only speaks in sarcasm. Ashby’s performance almost feels like a weird bridge between the heyday of Harrison Ford’s career and Chris Evan’s ascension in the ’00s. He manages to sell you on his incredulity, which is good because, wow, there’s a lot in this film that can be hard to swallow.

The story is slim and confused — the movie sometimes seems so interested in Johnny Cage and Sonja Blade that it forgets Liu Kang is the protagonist — but it delivers all kinds of bonkers action pieces There’s a big animatronic monster with four arms, a person who can freeze you to death, and sculptures that shimmy into life. It’s exactly what you’d want from a 1995 video game adaptation. Plus, there are all of these surprisingly stunning shots that pop up in the flick. I’m horrified to say this, but there is a frustrating amount of potential in Mortal Kombat. 

But I think what keeps drawing me back to Mortal Kombat is the fact that it doesn’t take itself hyper-seriously. It remembers that action-adventure stories are supposed to be fun. They are meant to be portals of escape for us, and not supercilious expressions of angst designed to drag us down. Mortal Kombat lifts your mood, one punching burst at a time.

Mortal Kombat is a bizarrely satisfying film — perfect for an evening watch — and it’s available to stream on Netflix right now.

(And okay, I don’t hate it at all. I love it very much.)

Where to Stream Mortal Kombat