Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
As a self-professed Marvel Maniac, I can totally admit that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is the most indulgent franchise in movie history–and I mean that as a massive compliment. Pretty much every film in the sprawling film-verse stands on its own as a total crowd pleaser for the obsessed and casual fans. But all those movies operate on another level entirely for people neck-deep in the lore like I am. The Easter eggs and references and inside jokes–they’re just the cosmic cherry on the super-powered sundae. But there is one moment that stands out as the most indulgent, most ridiculous, most pointless yet most euphoric in the entirety of the MCU.
Obviously that moment involves David Hasselhoff.
In celebration of The Hoff’s birthday today, I want to draw all of y’all’s attention to the music video for “Guardians Inferno,” released as part of the VOD push for last year’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Hasselhoff actually makes a cameo appearance in the film, around 90 minutes in when a furious Ego (Kurt Russell) is explaining all the forms he took to try to find the most fatherly one that would please Star-Lord (Chris Pratt). He shifts into Hasselhoff in his full Knight Rider getup of red shirt and black leather jacket before returning to his bearded form. That cameo is quick, a nod to Star-Lord’s roots as as All-American Earth kid with a love of retro pop culture. But that quick cameo doesn’t serve Hasselhoff nearly as well as “Guardians Inferno.”
Co-written by writer/director James Gunn and composer Tyler Bates, “Guardians Inferno” is a rip-roaring blast of funk featuring a disco-fied riff on the triumphant Guardians theme. It’s a barn-burner of a song, and it’s already a keeper by the time it gets to the Hoff’s sultry and sweaty spoken word breakdown where he raps about Rocket (a “procyon lotor,” the actual scientific name for a raccoon) and Groot (an “infantilized sequoia”) from the P.O.V. of Star-Lord (“my daddy was a planet!”).
The accompanying music video, which features Hasselhoff in a gold and white shimmering disco jumpsuit, is next-level bonkers–even for the Guardians franchise. It’s a greasy, smoky ode to the lo-fi music shows of the ’70s, mixing elements from The Old Grey Whistle Test and American Bandstand with the getups of ABBA and Roxy Music in their heyday. The film’s cast gets into the groove along with Hasselhoff, with Karen Gillan (Nebula), Pom Klementieff (Mantis) and Zoe Saldana (Gamora) going full Charlie’s Angels, while Michael Rooker (Yondu), Dave Bautista (Drax), and Sean Gunn (Kraglin) rock out in wigs. You can even spot James Gunn busting a move, and Chris Pratt (Star-Lord) pops up at the end, revealing himself to be the dancing robot. And just for fun, there are cameos from Stan Lee and… Jimmy Kimmel Live’s Guillermo? Sure!
The thing is, this does not need to exist! It definitely doesn’t need to star the actual actors from the film! Don’t these busy movie stars have better things to do than shimmy in front of a greenscreen in ’70s makeup? But the other thing is, god bless every single person involved in “Guardians Inferno,” from the fictional band The Sneepers to the Hoff himself and every Zoe, Chris, and Pom in between. The fact that “Guardians Inferno” exists when it absolutely doesn’t need to makes it a thing of beauty. It’s a peculiar bit of groovy Guardians goodness, the most indulgent moment in the MCU, and it’s David Hasselhoff’s totally serious presence (dude was a major music star in Europe!) that sends it over the top.
Zardu Hasselfrau, indeed!
