How Dare the Emmys Nominate ‘Fuller House’ for Outstanding CHILDREN’S Program!

Fuller House was nominated for an Emmy in the year of our lord 2018. But… it was nominated for Outstanding Children’s Program. Tell me, how am I supposed to feel about that? Elated that the show I once quizzically called “surreal sitcom art” was recognized for its achievement in dining room hibachi antics? Or ashamed–ashamed that I put so much thought into a show that was apparently created… for children?

I am no child. I am a 34-year-old man, a full-grown adult with the interests of a man at least in his late teens. I enjoy Fuller House, an enjoyment that started out covered in the muck of shame and irony but was eventually scrubbed away to a squeaky cleanliness by a show as simple and pure as a golden retriever in sunglasses. But the Emmys have decided that Fuller House, a show set in the aftermath of another tragic accident that ripped another parent from the Tanner family, is entertainment for children–alongside the likes of A Series of Unfortunate Events and some Sesame Street nonsense about a magic wand.

Fuller House, a show for children? Fuller House is a show whose very premise is built on the human truth that age will grab hold of every single human, even the ones preserved in their tweenage years in Hulu reruns.This is a show that forced DJ Tanner to choose between two different men only to end up with her high school sweetheart Steve in an extended rumination on our inability to move past the desires of our teenage selves–a rumination that reached its climax when DJ wrestled an internet-famous koi fish in Japan.

This is a show that spent episode after episode dealing with Stephanie Tanner’s struggles with infertility and the strain that placed on her ever deepening relationship with Jimmy Gibbler, a man who lives in an RV dubbed the Gibbler Galloper. Can children understand the depth, the decades of meaning behind Danny Tanner’s long awaited welcoming of Kimmy Gibbler into their family unit, which came while the entire clan was clad in retro garb in the old Smash Club (now a laundromat)?

You’re telling me, Emmys, that Fuller House was a children’s program all along. You’re telling me that a show where an elementary schooler pays homage to Donald Trump through backyard pyrotechnics is not commenting on our dire political situation. You’re telling me that a show where a talking toilet eats a wedding dress is not a coded message that reliance on technology is devouring our lives. You’re telling me that kids can understand the multiple layers of meaning behind Stephanie Tanner performing as a EDM DJ under the name DJ Tanner. I don’t buy it.

You know what I believe? I believe you, Emmys, were afraid of letting Fuller House compete with the shows you’ve deemed “for adults.” What makes Atlanta or The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel or Curb Your Enthusiasm more mature than Fuller House? Is it because none of them have a signature handshake/dance combo called the Gibbler Gallop? Is it because none of them have pulled off a totally seamless Dancing with the Stars crossover? Try this on for size: Fuller House devoted nearly a whole episode to the classical arts, art for adults, when Kimmy took on the role of The Rat King in The Nutcracker. Where’s Silicon Valley’s ode to 19th century ballet, hmmmm?

The Emmys knew that were Fuller House placed in the same category as the other comedies, especially in a year where the reigning champ Veep was ineligible, it would win. And how would that look, when a multi-cam comedy brave enough to build an episode around something called a “Troller Coaster” bested all the critical darlings?

That’s the only explanation. That, or the production company behind Fuller House realized that they would have a much better shot at scoring at least a nomination by shooting for a much less competitive category, and also everyone over at Fuller House has been intentionally making all-ages, family-friendly comedy with brief moments of maturity from the get go and this nomination just proves they are acutely aware of what they’re doing and who their audience is.

…

I’m going with my “the Emmys are cowards” theory!

Where to stream Fuller House