‘Deadpool 2’ Should Have Been a Whole Lot Gayer

I fully admit that this critical endeavor is pointless. The Deadpool movies are so masterfully ridiculous, meta, irreverent, and obnoxious that to apply critical thought to them only makes the critic seem like a lame-o buzzkill. In this way, you could call Deadpool 2 the Fuller House of superhero movies. I’ll take the bait, Deadpool 2. I’ll out myself as a lame-o buzzkill if it’s in service to unyielding X-pedantry!

Starting on a positive note, Deadpool 2 is actually a history-making movie in one very specific way: it has gay superheroes in it! While we’ve had quite a few queer supers on the smallscreen (the CW’s lineup is doing the lord’s work, y’all), the movies have dragged their feet. Nothing in X-Men, nothing in the Marvel movies, nothing in Wonder Woman (Wonder Woman!). It wasn’t until Deadpool 2 gave the scene-stealing Negasonic Teenage Warhead a girlfriend that the LGBT community finally saw itself in a super-movie. So, thanks Deadpool 2!

And here’s where the teeny gripes kick in, because while Deadpool 2 broke ground with NTW and Yukio (hi Yukio!), it actually chickened out in a lot of other ways. Deadpool 2 could have–and should have!–been a whole lot gayer. Here are all the other queer characters that could have cut loose.

Deadpool

Ryan Reynolds’ titular merc with a mouth is, himself, pansexual. Or isn’t. Or he is in the comics, but only when writers bring it up in interviews? Deadpool’s sexuality has been a whole thing for much of the last decade, with some readers interpreting his Bugs Bunny-esque sexuality play (Bugs kissed Elmer Fudd a whole lot!) as evidence of his queerness. But to date, Deadpool’s serious romantic interests have exclusively been women (Vanessa, Siryn, Typhoid Mary, Shiklah, etc.). Every time Wade Wilson flirts with a guy, it is as a joke or wink to the audience. The movies are the exact same; DP hits on anything that moves, but all that gay stuff is a punchline.

The comeback to this argument is that Deadpool is a joke character, so why get upset atjokes? And the response to that is, Deadpool is very serious about Vanessa (just so, so, so serious). Why can’t he be that serious about someone that isn’t a woman? Let Deadpool have the boyfriend he’s always wanted!

Negasonic Teenage Warhead (and Yukio–hi Yukio!)

As mentioned, DP2 does give us two demonstrably queer supeheroes. Hooray! And they get cool powers and suits and everything! Very rad! It’s even more rad because neither Negasonic Teenage Warhead nor Yukio have been explicitly gay in the comics. I mean, the comics version of NTW was initially a one-off character with a jokingly unwieldy codename. The Yukio in the movie is drastically different from the one in the comics, a human with the superpower of very queer subtext.

So what’s the problem? After having a pretty big part in the first film, Negasonic Teenage Warhead’s role is reduced to a glorified cameo in the sequel. The couple shows up briefly, and their entire involvement boils down to the “hi Yukio!” running gag. We needed to see a lot more of these two!

Shatterstar

As the biggest X-Force fan you know, Deadpool 2’s entire X-Force plot… annoyed me. But I realize that Deadpool 2’s zero cares attitude towards canon is a feature, not a bug, and that the “the entire team dies immediately” gag is actually an X-Force thing (albeit from a completely different era of X-Force that I have zero affection for–remember when I said my superpower was pedantry?).

Still, I was so excited when I first saw the MTV-era glam warrior Shatterstar in the trailers. I was excited because Shatterstar is actually the badass pansexual, polyamorous hottie with a ripped body and swords to spare that Deadpool is still incapable of being! Shattybuns is actually here and queer in the comics, and his same-sex lip-lock with his teammate Rictor was a history-making moment a decade ago. So what do we get in the movie? A fantastic portrayal by the beautiful Lewis Tan–who dies immediately! He’s dismissed as a joke (which, I admit, everyone is in this franchise) and does nothing but spray green blood everywhere! We needed an out and proud Shatterstar, dammit!

Colossus

Here’s another secret gay in Deadpool 2: Colossus. This being X-Men, there is an alternate-reality-asterisk by this one. The main Colossus, the one that’s starred in hundreds of comics over last 40 years, is straight. However, there’s an alternate reality Colossus, a.k.a. “Ultimate” Colossus, that is very gay and was a part of the Ultimate X-Men comic for around 10 years. Knowing that they weren’t gonna out Deadpool, knowing that Negasonic had a lot less to do in this movie, and knowing that Shatterstar was just a gory punchline, the Deadpool 2 brains could have given us a gay Colossus.

After all, Colossus, did have a bigger part in the sequel than NTW and Shatterstar combined, and just a throwaway reference to him being queer could have gone a long way! The Deadpool movies give a middle finger to, like, everything; why not give it to the notion that Colossus is default straight? We could have had a gay Colossus!

Black Tom Cassidy and Juggernaut

Yeah, I’m going here! If Deadpool 2 was forward-thinking enough to make Negasonic and Yukio (hi Yukio!) a couple, Deadpool 2 could have been forward-thinking enough to make all the subtext between career criminal BFFs Black Tom and Juggernaut big gay text. Are they gay in the comics? No, not yet at least. But X-fans know that every character has at least something going on with a same-sex someone at some point. Professor X and Magneto, Storm and Callisto, Kitty Pryde and Magik–there’s a lot to read into, and Black Tom and Juggernaut are no different. These two are deeply committed to each other in the comics.

The movie, though, doesn’t even let these two share a scene together! Man, even if they weren’t gonna hold hands, we could have at least gotten some Poe Dameron/Finn vibes from them. But no, Cassidy bites it before the big Juggernaut reveal, and we don’t even get a hint that these two knew each other. This, dear movie, is where I would have settled for at least some subtext!

So while Deadpool 2 deserves a high five for finally giving us gay superheroes, it also deserves just a teeny bit of side-eye for holding back here. Lord knows, Deadpool 2 doesn’t hold back anywhere else!

Where to watch Deadpool 2