You’ve Got João on ‘Below Deck Mediterranean’ ALL Wrong

“Oh my god, don’t you HATE João?” a new acquaintance asked me over drinks as soon as the topic of Bravo’s Below Deck Mediterranean came up (I brought it up, as I do everywhere I go). It was the first thing out of her mouth, and even though I quickly came to his defense explaining why the deckhand is utterly misunderstood, I was still quite shocked that it was the first thing she wanted to discuss about the show.

And then it happened again. And a quick glance at Twitter on Tuesday nights suggests it happens every week on the social media platform. More outrage over the man from Zimbabwe who’s found himself in a love triangle, multiple arguments with his manager, and hot water with the chief stew. Oh, but Captain Sandy loves him — and for good reason: João is not the villain here.

It’s very rare to watch a reality show and enjoy all the intermingling personalities, but this summer that’s exactly how I’ve felt about Below Deck Med. Sure, I have my favorites, but there’s no one I hate, or really even find annoying (minus those first charter guests, wowza). I like this Bravo show specifically because the drama is not life or death or even involving deep personal or family matters. So the guest doesn’t have vodka on their tender ride or the inflatable slide isn’t blown up right away? Things will be okay.

Which is why João remains completely misunderstood: he understands that exact concept. As he’s shared more about his time growing up in Africa, we’ve learned about his childhood which included muggings, beatings, and more total bummers for him and his family. We’ve all gone through hardships, and that includes the cast of Below Deck Med, but he had arguably one of the tougher upbringings of the group, which several of the yachities would probably also admit.

So when he’s challenging Conrad on a more efficient or safer way of doing things, he’s doing it to not waste time or energy. Is there a chip on his shoulder that a younger dude is his boss? Maybe. But does Conrad overreact at the notion that someone might have another — and even better — way of doing a task? Very strong maybe.

And when João calls Hannah materialistic, is he wrong? No. Even Chef Adam admitted she’s materialistic — she just doesn’t want to hear it. And that’s fair. João knows he’s pushing buttons when he says that word out loud to her. He should perhaps own up to that. But for someone who straight hustled and spent very little, if any at all, time in his life worrying about name brands, it’s hard for him to take seriously someone who does. He’s not going to get worked up over replaceable earrings. And that’s Hannah’s prerogative. She shouldn’t be judged for it, but she also shouldn’t expect someone like João to understand why she values that as much as she does.

Which of course brings us to the stickiest situation. João himself would admit he led on both Kasey and Brooke, doing the IRL version of sending out a bunch of “U up?” texts, and come on, you’ve done that before too — we all have. Brooke bit hardest of the two, and before Kasey knew what hit her, she was watching her crush and co-worker making out. It was uncool the way he played that whole situation and I won’t defend him on that. But I do think that once he’s done hustling during the day, there’s a playful side to him — the side that remains flirty friends with Kasey, and the side that even had the balls to joke with Brooke that he wanted to break Kasey’s eight-year no-sex streak. If I was Brooke, I wouldn’t love it, but I’m a viewer, and I can’t get enough of it.

But now, if Instagram is to be believed (and it is, as far as I’m concerned), he recently left a job to come to Florida where Brooke is working, to try and figure out their relationship. Only, oops, she forgot to mention she’s seeing someone already! João worked through this news on Instagram just like the rest of us would, proving there is a sensitive side to him, and one that we here at Decider saw for ourselves. When João came by the office last month, he was humble and gracious and a bit nervous but ready to own up to the stupid shit he’s done on television for the world to see — and as João, not even as his drunken alter ego Jezabob. He was honest and thorough in his answers to our interview questions, and when we asked him to compare his co-workers to animals, he was thoughtful. He didn’t want to offend anyone or have them take it the wrong way (he was, unsurprisingly, unsuccessful at that attempt). It simply showed another side to the man who so many have spent the season describing as a “douche” on social media.

I’ll admit, Jezabob isn’t the easiest to defend either, as my drunken alter ego is much more concerned with giving everyone in close proximity a hug — which is precisely why I’m not on a reality TV show. Watching Jezabob tell off his friends is much more entertaining, though I do admire João for putting those days in his past. Viewers are quick to mock him for repeating that he’s from Zimbabwe, but it truly says everything about how he was raised and who he is today. He’s not a douche — he’s a flawed guy who’s learned from his mistakes, but it was damn sure entertaining to watch him make them on TV.

Where to watch Below Deck Mediterranean