An Ode To Chad Michael Murray, Television’s Best Squinter

Squinting: Anyone with two eyes and a heart can do it, but only one man has truly mastered the arcane art of the flawless steely scowl: Chad Michael Murray. For somewhere between six and 150 seasons, Murray portrayed angsty John Steinbeck enthusiast Lucas Scott on the WB/CW series One Tree Hill. For the uninitiated, OTH centered on two quarreling half-brothers — Lucas and Nathan Scott — who were forced to co-exist in the small, basketball-obsessed town of Tree Hill, a quaint hamlet that holds the dubious distinction of yielding the most kidnappings per capita of any community in the history of human existence.

Also, at one point a dog eats Dan Scott’s heart, but it’s okay because he’s a jerk who shot his brother.

Psychotic fake brothers, crazy nannies, weirdo murderers, and Nick Lachey cameos aside, the series is perhaps best known for introducing the world to television’s best squinter: Chad Michael Murray.

The sultan of stares, the sire of squinting, the Galileo of gazing, Chad Michael Murray possesses the gritty ocular prowess of a sexy Tibetan wolf. Today marks the 37th birthday of this optical luminary, and to celebrate, we’re going to revisit a few of his most notable looks.

Since all transcendent art deserves the dignity of a proper title, I’ve knighted each and every exotic stare with its own unique name. Happy birthday, Chad Michael Murray, and thank you for your service.