Queue And A

‘RHOC’: Gina Kirschenheiter On The “Really, Really Scary” Fight Between Kelly and Emily

By Lea Palmieri @littleleap
Published Sep. 10, 2018, 8:00 p.m. ET

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The Real Housewives of Orange County

Gina Kirschenheiter just joined The Real Housewives of Orange County this season, but she’s already become a fan favorite. With that Long Island accent that’s not afraid to tell it like it is, she’s successfully navigated a rift with Vicki Gunvalson, gotten kicked out of Emily Simpson’s house after being too loud at a party, and maintained a fabulous set of nails along the way.

When Gina stopped by the Decider offices, we got all the details on the show’s latest and craziest episode so far (warning: there are spoilers for tonight’s episode!). The mom of three opens up about disciplining her kids on-camera, why she was so “uncomfortable” when she finally met Emily’s husband Shane, and why the fight that broke out between Emily and Kelly was “really, really scary” — and why she had to jump in and break it up. She also talks taking sides with the women, why Vicki is “very wise” when it comes to being a mom, and why her own divorce is totally going “great.”

Decider: You’ve been a great addition to the show this season, but as most of the other women are a bit older than you, was it easy to bond with them and find the things you have in common? 

Gina Kirschenheiter: I think I get along with everybody, usually. In California, because it’s so expensive there, specifically in Orange County, a lot of people have babies there [when they’re] older. So I feel like a lot of my friends, before taking on this journey, were older in general. I’m used to having older friends, so to me it’s not that weird. But I think they definitely had a thing about the age. I had to break that wall down, but I think by the end of it, I did that. Let’s face it, I’m certainly much more mature than most of them so it’s like, after a while you can’t really come at me for the age thing. When you watch toddlers all day and then you go and hang out with grown women, I don’t want to hang out with more toddlers. So I learned not to act like that. I have good parents too, so that helps.

Tonight you reach the point where you have to tell the women to just drop the conversation: were you afraid by saying that you’d offend them or even get them all riled up again? 

No. They were riled. There was nothing I was gonna do that would make it worse. I felt like I felt from the very beginning: this was a situation between Emily and I. I addressed it with Emily, everybody else inserted themselves into it. It ended up causing turmoil between Emily and I, which I didn’t appreciate, and now we’ve squashed it again and we come back to the table and it’s still a situation. I was just like, at this point I’m eating my cake and I’m shutting up. I didn’t care. This is now beyond stupid.

Did you feel pressure to take sides with friends this season? Tonight we saw you chatting with Tamra about her situation with Shannon. 

Yeah. My advice to Tamra always was, if your friend is acting stupid, go tell your friend you think they’re acting stupid. I think she’s entitled to do that. I totally take Tamra’s side. That’s wrong. It doesn’t matter what you have going on in your own life, it doesn’t give you an out to not be a kind friend to your friend. You can’t just be so self-absorbed in your own shit that you’re being a shitty friend, that’s not cool. If Tamra values her friendship. she should tell her that. And if Shannon values her friendship back, she should be receptive to that and she should apologize. It looks like they did do some of that, so that’s good.

Also, your nails always look great. 

I know, thank you. I’m from Long Island, I’m a sparkle girl. I like to have fun. I like to have fun with my fashion choices and my life.

Did having the cameras there make you more honest about what you were going through in your personal life? You seemed to open up to the other ladies about your marriage troubles pretty quickly.

It was really hard because I did have that stuff going on with Matt and I’m actually a really, really private person when it comes to relationships. I’m not that girl that gets into a fight with my husband and needs to talk to my other friends about it. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with that, and I’m always there for my friends when they have me on the phone for five hours, but I’m just not that person. It was hard for me to start to open up to people, but it was going on in my life and I’m like, okay I can either fake my way through this and just shut my mouth and get through the season and say everything’s great and then be divorced, or I can do what I’d been doing and be myself and in the moment.

I did not go to that party with any intention to tell Emily, but I had a really bad day. That was a bad day for Matt and I, we got into a fight certainly, I was crying, I was upset, and had to pull it together and get to this party. Emily saw it on my face, she pulled me aside and was like, what is wrong, what is going on. When you feel like you’re close enough to a friend when they can tell when you’re off or something’s wrong, you feel safe enough to then confide in them. I felt okay to say, you know what, I’m having a really hard time and it is what it is. It’s so upsetting to watch it, it’s hard to watch it. I’m not bullshitting on a show, they asked me to be myself, I was myself. I was very upset that day and I was crying about my husband. It is hard.

Most of the other women have been through a similar situation though. 

They have all been divorced multiple times, yes! They had advice. I don’t know how helpful it is. They have a lot of opinions. It was hard for them to accept in some ways that my divorce did not parallel any of their divorces. It’s not a judgement, and I feel bad for what they’re going through, but the fact is, Matt and I are buddies. It’s still hard but we had to acknowledge that. We do have three kids and I get Vicki’s perspective.

They kinda treated me through it like I was a kid in that aspect. They wanted to be the words of wisdom, not have me make the same mistakes, but at the end of the day, I’m a grown woman and I know I’m making the right decision for my family, even though it’s a hard one. It’s great. It’s better! It was the right decision. I like him better now. Matt and I are better together, apart. We really are, we’re a better team when we’re not married. We’re killin’ it at divorce! We’re crushing it.

We get to see you discipline your kids, how were you feeling about that moment? 

I don’t care. I don’t give a shit. I always say that I don’t put my hands on you, you don’t put your hands on me. I don’t tolerate it. I’m not trying to pretend that my kids are perfect and I don’t feel that I have to do that for the cameras.

My favorite part of when Vicki was over and I did discipline Nick, I remember being very worked up and upset because he was really behaving very poorly that day, really stickin’ it to me. I came out and I didn’t know what Vicki was gonna say, and you see her say, “You did a good job.” It felt really good in that moment to be reassured by a veteran mom, because I do what I feel is right, but you don’t always know. She was like, “No, you did good,” and I was like, “Oh my god, thank god.” As a mom, you’re not always gonna do the good thing, but we’re all trying our best.

That area, I do think Vicki is very wise. I see her as somebody who is a good mom, who loves the shit out of her children, and they’re good kids. I think she raised two very nice children and I think she’s probably a stellar grandma. And you see, she came to my house, she’s in her nice [clothes] with the pearls; she’s always looks like that too, seven in the morning, nine at night. She’s picking my kids up, she’s very maternal. Once she stopped hating me, she was maternal to me too, we have a good bond that way.

How were you feeling about finally meeting Shane? 

I was uncomfortable. I was nervous, I had anxiety about it a little bit. I remember being in the car, I went with my friends Tatiana and Kyle, and they brought it up, because I wasn’t even thinking about it. They were like, you know this is going to be the first time you’re meeting Shane. And I’m like, oh my god. I went through the whole day with my kids and I finally got dressed, I’m trying to blow my hair out, I’m lucky there’s not feces on my outfit. So in the car, I’m thinking about it, and I’m like, I’ll take control of the situation, I’ll break the ice, I’ll just make it a joke. That way he know it’s lighthearted.

And it was hard for me when I made a joke of it and instantly he was like, “Yeah if you calm down.” It was a very clear message to me that he was not interested in being all buddy-buddy, laughy-laughy. And I was okay with that. I was insulted with it and I didn’t like it but I just decided to ignore him the rest of the night. I received that message and I’m not gonna go near you now and that’s it. I think the whole thing was horrific in the first place but it was what it was. I’m sorry I had fun at your party. I don’t know what to do with that one. I’m sorry that everybody was fighting and crying and I tried to have a good time. I drank the whiskey that you served, my bad.

Later at the party you had to jump in between Emily and Kelly during their fight. 

That sucked. I was just crying about Matt, I finally make it to the bar, I’m thinking I’m gonna have a cocktail, and I had to. I had no choice, I’m not gonna let them fight.

I was afraid they were really gonna fight. It was really, really scary for me. It was horrible. Emily had that like, “lift the car off the baby” rage because she was protecting her husband.

Have you met other Long Island people in Orange County? 

Yeah, I certainly have. When we moved, Matt came out and brought a team of people from Long Island with him, so I’m friendly with a lot of their girlfriends. I sort of collect all the east coasters and that’s my squad.

I’m different from the women in Orange County and it’s okay to be different, but some of them are assholes. If anything, moving there has made me feel more deep in my roots and more proud of where I come from. It’s really just the east coast vibe that I’m attracted to. I just want the [OC] weather.

The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Monday at 9pm ET/PT. 

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