Did ‘Full House’s’ Joey Really Deserve That Perfect Score on ‘Star Search’? An Investigation

If there’s one thing that changes more often on Full House than where everyone rests their hairspray-covered heads at night, it’s their jobs. Just between Danny, Jesse, Joey, they’ve been a sportscaster, an exterminator, ad men, Rush Hour Renegades, a children’s show host, an all-ages rock and roll club owner, and a music sensation (in Japan). But even as their 9 to 5s changed, these three maintained steady, longterm career goals: Danny hosted a morning talk show, Jesse just wanted to rock and roll all night, and Joey did stand-up.

If you rewatch all of Full House (which is a thing I have done this year thanks to Hulu), you’ll see that those dudes are mostly good at their passion projects. Danny’s goofy dad humor is perfect for an inoffensive early morning talk show, because you know he is never ever going to say or do anything to agitate you in the A.M. And while Jesse is nowhere near as bad of a dude as the show wants you to believe (how many dangerous rockers idolize Elvis and love doo-wop songs?), you can’t argue that Jesse has 1. a solid voice, 2. proficiency with a number of instruments, and 3. the pouty lips and perfect hair for music video stardom. Those two are unquestionably good at their jobs! It also doesn’t hurt that Bob Saget was a TV host (America’s Funniest Home Videos!) and John Stamos was a touring musician (with the Beach Boys!) in real life.

And then there’s Joey Gladstone, the stand-up comic. We see Danny at work, we see Jesse doing his rock and roll hustle between side gigs, but Joey? He tends to just putter around the house doing Popeye voices and spitting water on the floor. And when he gets jobs, he’s writing jingles or riffing with Mr. Woodchuck or talkin’ with teens on the radio. He rarely does actual, straightforward standup, making it impossible to know how he works in all those cartoon impressions into a set or if he’s even any good at what he does!

There is one exception, though: the Full House Season 3 episode “Star Search.” In it, we get to see Joey do what I guess he does best… but does he do it well? Is the fictional Joey Gladstone–played by IRL standup Dave Coulier–a good standup comic, or is his overwhelmingly-Popeye-dependent comedy style best kept locked in the basement of the Tanner household? To get to the bottom of this, I emailed some working stand-ups, comedy writers, and performers to get an informed look at Joey’s literally perfect (at least according to the judges depicted in the episode) Star Search set.

Josh Sorokach (reporter, Decider): Joey is the 17th funniest kid in your high school graduating class; the “I asked for the dressing on the side, but whatever, it’s fine” of comedy.

Mike Scollins (writer, Late Night with Seth Meyers): I wouldn’t say he’s good but he definitely plays to his strengths.

Nat Towsen (writer, Botnik; host, UCB’s Nat Towsen’s Downtown Variety Hour): He’s a kind of standup comedian that I hate watching, the kind that has some strong impressions but weak writing.

Matt Little (host, UCB’s Lasers in the Jungle): Joey Gladstone is a solid impressionist who is more comfortable shifting between pop culture characters than exploring his own voice.

Riley Soloner (performer, The Chris Gethard Show): How do you write jokes for adults when everybody you have ever known exists inside a sitcom for children?…If Joey went with his gut and delivered a punchline, provoking a kernel of critical thought to his Star Search audience, the effect would have the potential to tear the fabric of his fictional universe’s reality to shreds.

Halle Kiefer (writer, Vulture; host, What’s Your Damage?): I think the thing to consider is that this is Joey’s Star Search set. I like to think that he is usually working blue and this is his only clean material.

Kiefer: If I have to pick, and I ostensibly do, the surfer-hockey ice joke was, to me, the best of his material.

Dan Chamberlain (writer, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon): I actually really liked the California surfer-dude stuff. I wish more people made fun of surfers, it’s such an innocuous stereotype to rip on. Plus his fixation on them is so specific and odd, like the surfers on his hockey team are ruining his life.

Joe Wengert (writer, Big Mouth, New Girl): [H]e’s clearly just doing Robin Williams (especially with the “Cousteau speaking in gibberish French” bit).

Towsen: It’s cringe-inducing to watch someone commit to a long impression that wasn’t funny in the beginning. The whole time, you’re just imagining them practicing the voice alone in their room.

Wengert: The worst joke by far is the hard left turn into “Flipper’s wife,” which would be very bad without the lack of segue.

Chamberlain: The subtext is that Flipper has some hen-pecking wife who doesn’t want to have sex with him? Your nieces are here dude, they’re children.

Scollins: Also why is DJ’s favorite joke the one where Mrs. Flipper feigns a headache to get out of sex? Is that really her sense of humor?

Scollins: That Popeye impression is second to none. I just can’t imagine a world where you’d need one of those.

Wengert: My favorite moment in the Full House of it all is the shot of the judges taking note after Joey’s seamless transition from Olive Oyl into Popeye!

Chamberlain: The Popeye bit is wack. The voices are solid, but the only point-of-view he really offers in the whole bit is that he doesn’t find Olive Oyl attractive. Hey Joey: Olive Oyl doesn’t exist for your pleasure.

Towsen: His joke where he walks away from the mic should not work. Why can we hear him?

Wengert: I think just referencing cartoons in this “remember that” style was also considered hack back then. I mean, he’s closing with the Popeye theme song!

Kiefer: Personally, I hated every second of his set, but that doesn’t mean Joey Gladstone isn’t a real stand-up or that he wouldn’t have booked gigs, at that time in history, with that shirt and tie combo.

Sorokach: Body shaming of Olive Oyl aside, Joey Gladstone as a comedian is the textbook definition of mediocrity. He’s fine.

Wengert: I think, even for the late 80s, this would be considered bad stand up.

Little: There is no real thread to his performance. At times it feels like he is doing a bit out of obligation to stage time rather than having something to say.

Soloner: He delivers jokes that go nowhere, impressions that trail off, and a catchphrase that doesn’t fit within the context of the thing he said beforehand.

Kiefer: It’s hard to believe Uncle Joey got a perfect score from the judges, but ultimately it might come down to how he compared to everyone else who performed. Maybe he really seemed incredible by comparison, and his score raised accordingly.

Towsen: Watch An Evening at the Improv in 1989. Every comedian does a bunch of voices (not necessarily impressions) and at least one act-out per joke. Star Search skewing more towards amateurs and being more about all-around talent than standup, it’s feasible Joey would have fit right in. The audience is even clapping instead of laughing!

Chamberlain: Also, where’s his little nightclub beaver puppet or whatever? Isn’t that Joey’s whole thing? The only thing people want to see less than Jeff Dunham with puppets is Jeff Dunham without puppets.

Sorokach: Not doing his famed “water fountain” bit was a huge missed opportunity, IMO, but I guess you can’t leave that timely Jacques Cousteau material on the cutting room floor.

Towsen: Patton Oswalt and Blaine Capatch would move to San Francisco in 1991. Was Joey still on the scene?

Wengert: Is this just Dave Coulier’s stand up? I know “Cut It Out” pre-dated Full House… I could look it up, but I’ve spent far too much time on this already

Stream Full House Season 3 Episode 6 "Star Search" on Hulu