Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
Hollywood has a new king of horror and his name is Bill Skarsgard. The 6’4” tall Swedish actor has been thrilling audiences in a series of creepy stand out roles, starting with Netflix’s now defunct supernatural slasher series Hemlock Grove, this summer’s Castle Rock, and last year’s smash hit It. In each of these projects, Skarsgard is treated like a menacing creature plucked from the bowels of hell. And Bill Skarsgard is good at being bad. He’s terrifying and unhinged, and he’s great at lurking in the shadows. However, there’s one major problem that none of these projects have taken into account: Bill Skarsgard is hot.
Now before I get into details of Mr. Skarsgard’s appeal, I just want to state for the record that I don’t find Pennywise hot. For months, I have had to deal with insinuations from my friends and colleagues that this is the case, and I must protest. Pennywise the character is not crush material. He dresses in a musty old victorian onesie and has a hairline issue. There’s also the fangs, the murders, and the embarrassing dance moves. Pennywise is horrifying. The actor who plays him, on the other hand, is hot.
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Bill Skarsgard
Bill Skarsgard is an empirically attractive man. He’s got piercing blue eyes, chiseled cheekbones, and a bow mouth. He is also a handsome young man, and not a alabaster painted demon from the netherworld of Maine. Yet, he somehow keeps getting cast as seemingly immortal carriers of evil…in Maine. I understand that coincidence is just because his last two roles have been in Stephen King projects, but that’s a weird way to get type-cast.
All I’m saying is that I would be curious to see if Bill Skarsgard has Netflix rom com potential. I want to see what he looks like smirking in a hot tub for once. Pull this man and his symmetrical face out of the darkness and shove him into the light. Maybe he doesn’t have the goods to be the next Glen Powell, but maybe he does! To loosely quote Cardi B, let him hot in peace! All I want for Halloween is to hear that Bill Skarsgard is going to get to be actually hot in his next role.
