‘Poldark’ Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: London Calling

Poldark Season 4, Episode 5 begins like a lot of other episodes of Poldark. Demelza (Eleanor Tomlinson) is hanging out on the beach, people are poor, and Ross (Aidan Turner) is doing his own loud thing in Parliament. Yes, Ross and Demelza are living separate lives. While Demelza holds down the fort in Cornwall, Ross is trying to teach Parliament that poor people are people, too. Stymying him, as always, is George Warleggan (Jack Farthing), whose one contribution to politics is the hard party line that “poor people should stay poor.” We’ll see about that…
Back in Cornwall, Demelza pushes her hot brother Drake (Harry Richardson) to get with the fair rosy-cheeked maid Rosina. Drake’s whole thing is, “I like Rosina, but I don’t love her.” Demelza’s counter-argument is that Ross didn’t love her when they got married and now he does. She’s strangely very proud of this fact and it somehow convinces Drake that Rosina is the one for him. Drake finds Rosina playing with some fishing nets and declares he has a “liking” for her. He then launches in this monologue about his past romance with Morwenna (Ellise Chappell) that sounds like sea shanty: “You maybe have heard rumors of a girl that I once loved.” It is the WORST marriage proposal I have ever seen, and I am convinced that Rosina will say, “Hard pass,” but she doesn’t! You know, I would say no, but I am not starving in Cornwall. Maybe a loveless marriage to a hot guy is a good move?

Speaking of loveless marriages, since Morwenna’s one defense against marital rape is threatening to kill her beloved son, Reverend Whitworth (Christian Bassington) hires a woman to take the son away from her. Now, he’s back in her bedroom, terrorizing both her and me.

However, not everything’s coming up Reverend Whitworth. Rowella’s husband comes home early one night and finds the front door locked. Worried, he creeps in through the garden, climbs up the wall, and catches Rowella with Whitworth. He is crushed to find his Aphrodite is more of an Aspasia.

Meanwhile, back in London, Caroline (Gabriella Wilde) and Ross are attending all the cool parties. The Warleggans are there, too, and so is that Illuminati guy I don’t like. The Illuminati guy brings up the fact that he met “Captain P” at Trenwith and George is hilariously horrified.

Caroline is doing a ton of gambling in London. She’s playing cards, the spinning wheel thing, and just numbing herself with vice. Eventually Ross has a conversation with Caroline where he’s like, “Hey, buddy, I had a baby daughter die in my arms, too.” He’s attempts to reach her by making it all about him, and I guess it kind of works. In 90 seconds he gives Caroline the cliffs notes of three months of grief counseling.

Oh, and Caroline’s not Ross’s only friend in London. At one raucous house party, Ross saves drunk teen Geoffrey Charles from getting the beat down from the 1800s version of frat boys. It’s Uncle Ross to the rescue and it’s sort of…awesome?

After this act of nobility, Ross is touched by the janitor who must clean up rich boy’s puke to “make ends meet.” Ross must save him, as well. Eventually, Ross gets Geoffrey Charles to bed and he’s like super proud of his drunk boi. He promises Elizabeth that he’ll look after young GC.

Back in Cornwall, it’s the eve of Drake’s wedding day, and a miracle happens. Rowella’s husband dons highwayman cosplay to try to beat up Reverend Whitworth in the woods. He does not do a good job. After all, Arthur is an academic. However, in the melée, Whitworth slides off his horse and traps his foot in a stirrup. The angry beast runs off, dragging Whitworth through the woods to his place in hell.

Drake wakes up happy. He sweeps his little hovel and lays flowers on the bed where he will bang his cute new wife. He cannot know that his beloved Morwenna is now a wealthy widow. However, almost as soon as Dwight inspects the body, Demelza and Sam get a letter about it. George and Elizabeth also get a letter. (Side note: Everyone is getting their mail SUPER FAST this morning.) Demelza always does the morally right, but emotionally difficult thing, so she confronts Drake with the news. He’s pissed that she told him because now he can’t get married (which means he won’t lose his virginity tonight). Sam is also pissed off. This was the closest I guess he was getting to sex, too. Drake does what everyone in Poldark does when they feel emotions. He wanders on the beach.

At a funeral reception for Whitworth, George and Elizabeth offer Morwenna their condolences. She proceeds to tell them about how Whitworth raped and abused her — a lot. Elizabeth is like, “HOLY FUCK.” George is like, “Uh…I’m sorry…” But he doesn’t say that because he’s a dick. He just says it with his dumb face. Morwenna blames them for the terrible match and bless her for it.
Drake finally comes to Morwenna the next morning, but she doesn’t want to see him. She gives this feverish speech about how she’s tainted and sick. Finally, her vile mother-in-law shows up and threatens to horsewhip Drake, which sends him off. Because Drake was “lurking” at Morwenna’s, George concludes that Drake is the main suspect for Whitworth’s death. He sends a guy named Harry — who looks like Tom Harry, but I’m pretty sure is not Tom Harry because George fired him after the wrestling match — to the Poldark house to search for him. Trudie is not about it.

Finally Elizabeth is like, “Don’t pursue Drake Carne, you dummy.” But Harry and Rosina’s dad burn down Drake’s smithy in the dark of night. Everything keeps getting worse and worse for young Drake. Morwenna seems committed to this break up thing, as evidenced by the fact that she tosses her seashell bracelet into the ocean. It drifts, like the Heart of the Ocean, to the sandy floor of the deep.

However, there is a glimmer of light in this episode. Ross returns home for a quick spell to discuss starting a welfare system in the county,  and to bone Demelza.

After this, Ross returns to Parliament to proclaim that he has invented welfare. Prime Minister Pitt is intrigued…

Oh, and this was a very pretty sunset.

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