Two Thumbs Down: The Worst Movies Of 2018 (According To Rotten Tomatoes)

Kinda sad that the Fifty Shades franchise went out with a whimper instead of a… bang.

A+ sex puns aside, I haven’t seen Fifty Shades Freed, but my co-worker Claire Spellberg watched it. “By the franchise’s standards, Fifty Shades Freed is relatively tame in bed,” Claire wrote. “But it’s still a must-see for fans looking to wrap up their years-long relationship with Fifty Shades.”

Where to stream Fifty Shades Freed

Scott Speer’s supernatural thriller I Still See You is set ten years after an apocalyptic event left the world haunted by ghosts. Even though the film boasts an impressive array of talent (Bella Thorne, Richard Harmon, Dermot Mulroney) critics were unimpressed, citing that the movie lacked emotion and felt too scientific.

Audiences were a bit kinder to I Still See You. Despite the film’s 11% Tomatometer rating, it earned a 56% Audience Score.

Jennifer Garner is out for vengeance in Pierre Morel’s 2018 action thriller Peppermint.

The film is one of those “the system failed, so I’ll unleash my own brand of vigilante justice” movies, but it was derided for being a dull, generic retread of the genre. Critics may have an affinity for Garner, but they were unanimous in their hatred for Peppermint. The New Yorker was particularly harsh noting that it “leaves a trace of slime that’s hard to wipe up — and leaves the feeling that it would be better for the world at large if this movie hadn’t been made.”

Where to stream Peppermint 

A film featuring Emma Roberts can’t be all bad, but Decider’s Joe Reid said it best in his review of this infamous critical and commercial failure. “Is it good? No, it’s not good. Spacey’s presence is a squick throughout, and nothing about a bunch of prep-school dicks learning that scamming people out of their money leads to scary consequences is novel or interesting.”

My suggestion? Skip the boys club and stream Emma Roberts’ 2018 indie In A Relationship.

Where to stream Billionaire Boys Club

Beware of the Slender Man, not out of fear, but because he may bore you to death.

Sylvain White’s 2018 supernatural horror film failed to make waves at the box office, earning a plethora of scathing reviews. Hats off to this solid burn by Detroit News’ Adam Graham: “It doesn’t add up to much more than a shoulder shrug. Perhaps that’s one way to kill off Slender Man: make his story so dull that no one cares.”

Where to stream Slender Man

Here’s the 4-1-1 on 211: It’s bad.

Slick Nic Cage portrays Mike Chandler, a police officer who finds himself outnumbered and outgunned when a team of highly trained and heavily armed men attempt a daring bank heist. Glenn Kenny of RogerEbert.com called it “a cavalcade of crap. Loud crap,” so, you know, adjust your expectations accordingly, I guess.

Where to stream 211

Fun fact about Reprisal: Nobody likes it.

A bank manager haunted by a violent heist (Frank Grillo) teams up with his ex-cop neighbor (Bruce Willis) to bring down the assailant. If you take a ride over to Reprisal’s Rotten Tomatoes page you’ll find terms like “dull,” “dopey,” and “laughably incoherent,” so if you’re looking to add a bit of Bruce Willis to your holidays, maybe stick with Die Hard.

Where to stream Reprisal 

Here’s my one sentence review of Netflix’s Father of the Year: Nat Faxon deserves better than this!

A drunken debate between two recent college grads about whose dad would win in a fight spirals out of control in this capital C Clunker. “Don’t for a second imagine that this movie was good,” Decider’s Joe Reid said in his review. “It’s full of retrograde jokes and incredibly tired bro jokes and incredibly unlikeable adult characters. Neither Spade nor Faxon has the charm to rescue their brutally unfunny characters, and Spade barely seems to be putting in an effort. You have way better ways to spend your time.”

Where to stream Father of the Year

Clairvoyant femme fatale Nicola Six (Amber Heard) has a premonition that one of the three men she’s dating plans to murder her in Mathew Cullen’s London Fields. Despite an all-star cast (Cara Delevingne, Billy Bob Thornton, Theo James, Jaimie Alexander) this mystery thriller earned a goose egg from critics.

Audiences were kinder to the movie, however, as London Fields currently has a respectable 60% Audience Score on Rotten Tomatoes.

Where to stream London Fields 

James Franco, Snoop Dogg, Method Man, and Lucy Liu team up in this… wait… WHAT?! How can a movie starring those four titans have a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes?

The film follows a young boy who searches a future world wasteland for a potential cure for this dying mom. Critics were unkind to this movie, and judging by the 12% audience score, the general public agreed. The first audience review for Future World on Rotten Tomatoes simply says, “Yuck. Why did I watch this?”

Where to stream Future World

We end our list with a double dose of Johnny Travolta. Hitting theaters less than a month ago, Speed Kills centers on Travolta’s Ben Aronoff, a speedboat racing campion and multimillionaire who leads a double life as a drug trafficker.

No, seriously. That’s what this movie is about.

“My boats have won hundreds of races. Oh yeah, they’ve also moved 100 million pounds of cocaine through Miami.”

Shockingly, Speed Kills probably isn’t Travolta’s worst film of 2018. That dubious distinction goes to…

I know this sounds hard to believe, but Gotti is actually worse than its 0% Rotten Tomatoes score.

Directed by Kevin Connolly and starring John Travolta, Kelly Preston, and a cacophonous train wreck of atrocious accents, Gotti is… technically a movie. What separates this project from other films is that it bravely decided to forgo anything even remotely resembling a coherent narrative. Respect, man. Respect.

Is Gotti so bad it’s worth hate-watching? No. Not really. But you can judge for yourself because the movie is now streaming on Prime Video.

Where to stream Gotti