Is This A Christmas Movie? ‘Batman Returns’

Inspired by the annual debate about whether or not Die Hard should be considered a Christmas movie, Is This A Christmas Movie? is a limited series that tries to determine whether or not some famous films set at Christmas should be considered Christmas movies.

Tim Burton is no stranger to Christmas movies. In fact, he seemed to have Christmas on his mind a lot in the late-’80s and early-’90s. After the success of Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, and Batman, Burton had a chance to write his own ticket for a bit, and he used his box office clout to get a couple of personal projects going, both Christmas-themed. While working at Disney in the early ’80s, Burton composed a poem entitled “The Nightmare Before Christmas” that at one point seemed destined to become a TV special. Instead it became the Henry Selick-directed stop-motion musical Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas, which began production in 1991 and hit theaters two years later. For his Batman follow-up, Burton chose Edward Scissorhands, a film with a climax set at Christmas that doubles as a sort of goth retelling of the story of Christ. Both are undoubtedly Christmas movies, and both are movies Burton was excited to make.

But what about one he initially didn’t want to make: Batman Returns?

This seems like an easy one at first. The film opens with the the sound of Danny Elfman’s familiar Batman theme and with snow drifting over the Warner Bros. logo. The camera then moves into the Cobblepot mansion where unto them a child is born. But it’s not a Christmas miracle. It’s some kind of violent aberration they’re forced to keep in a cage by the Christmas tree — until they get fed up and send it along its way by throwing its cradle in a stream where it’s adopted by a family of penguins. (We’ll see more of him later.) Cut to: the present where Gotham’s unnamed mayor (Michael Murphy) presides over a tree lighting co-hosted by the billionaire mogul presided, and “Gotham’s own Santa Claus,” Max Shreck (Christopher Walken).

So, clearly a Christmas movie, right? But not so fast. There’s a difference between a movie that engages with the Christmas-friendly themes of family, renewal, rebirth, etc. (Die Hard) and one that just uses Christmas as a backdrop to whatever else it wants to do (Die Hard 2: Die Harder). Sometimes only a thin line divides those two types of movie, and Batman Returns walks that line.

There’s Christmas all over the place in the movie. Gotham’s alight in decorations, Alfred (Michael Gough) is seen trimming Wayne Manor’s Christmas tree, and the third act begins with a high society masquerade. Then there’s the way characters keep getting reborn. The Penguin (the Cobblepot child who’s grown-up to become Danny DeVito under a lot of grotesque makeup), seemingly returns to Gotham from the dead. Mousy secretary Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer), is thrown out a window and falls many stories to her seeming death — until she’s seemingly resurrected by a swarm of cats then returns to her apartment with an entirely different personality and immediately sets about making a cat costume for herself.

That sequence feels like it takes up about 30 minutes of the film’s running time. It also doesn’t really make a lot of sense, but then neither does much of the movie. One possible explanation lies in the screenwriting process. Batman Returns began as a script by Sam Hamm. Then Burton brought on Heathers screenwriter Daniel Waters. When he exited, an uncredited Wesley Strick, fresh off Cape Fear, stepped in. That’s a lot of talented writers, yet it’s hard to watch the film and not have questions. Why does Catwoman start fighting Batman (a returning Michael Keaton)? What does she think she’ll get by teaming up with the Penguin? And, whoa, back up: Did those cats just lick her back to life?

In most of the respects that count, that’s not really a problem. The visuals and performances are so strong the movie starts to work by a kind of dream logic. The Penguin becomes a nightmarish caricature of an entitled aristocrat and rides around in a giant carnival-ride duck. Batman and Catwoman fall in love while out of costume then wrestle with their feelings for each other once they learn each other’s secrets. There’s penguins with rocket launchers and an evil organ grinder and who cares if the plot hangs together?

The only problem: that makes it hard for coherent themes to emerge, too. As the film shifts focus — for a while anyway — to the Penguin’s bid to unseat the mayor, Christmas mostly gets forgotten. (And the Penguin’s attempts to kidnap Gotham’s firstborn children alludes to a different bible story.) By the end, when Catwoman pins Shreck and threateningly asks, “How ’bout a kiss, Santy Claus?” it’s easy to have forgotten that Christmas is going on outside at all. Batman Returns is all over the place, and only occasionally remembers that Christmas time is near.

It’s also extremely horny. Probably a lot hornier than you remember, if you haven’t seen it in a while. This was the end of the line for Burton and the Batman franchise, though he has a producer credit on Batman Forever. The film was successful, but it also stirred up a backlash thanks to the darkness of its content, the explicitness of its violence, and its sexual innuendo — some of which barely counts as double entendres. “Oh, just the pussy I’ve been looking for!” Penguin grunts when he first sees Catwoman in his lair, shortly after groping a volunteer. (When Catwoman he puts her boot to his face, he sniffs it.) Batman and Catwoman can barely keep their hands off each other whether in or out of costume. At the masquerade, Selina alludes to a “big, comfy California king” nearby, shortly after making a reference to Bruce Wayne’s erection. It’s a superhero movie in which explosions and fights occasionally interrupt everyone’s attempts to sleep with each other.

So maybe this movie does have a consistent theme after all. It’s just not a particularly Christmassy theme.

VERDICT: Tim Burton has made two classic Christmas movies. Batman Returns is strange, kinky superhero movie that just happens to be set at Christmas. NOT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE.

NEXT WEEK: Eyes Wide Shut

Keith Phipps writes about movies and other aspects of pop culture. You can find his work in such publications as The Ringer, Rolling Stone, Vulture, and The Verge. Keith also co-hosts the podcasts The Next Picture Show and Random Movie Night and lives in Chicago with his wife and child. Follow him on Twitter at @kphipps3000.

Where to stream Batman Returns